Unmarriageable(81)

I told Juju I would support her no matter what she chose to do. After much agonising, she opted for an abortion. I was unwilling to trust my unmarried sister’s secret to doctors and nurses in Pakistan, and so I took her to Europe. She suffered so much, and all I could do was feel like shit.

Wickaam thinks Juju miscarried. Only she and I – and now you – know she had an abortion. I wish I could tell the world the truth, but I cannot without risking my sister’s reputation as well as the reputations of others Wickaam has seduced.

He is my cousin, my blood relative, I’m sorry to say, but he is not my friend. He is no one’s friend and does not know what the word ‘loyalty’ means. Weena Aunty and Uncle Hassan, his parents, were so gentle, kind, and upright – they would be shocked to see how their son has turned out.

I’m sharing all this with you to tell you that Wickaam is not the victim here nor we conniving relatives, and I would advise you and yours to stay far away from him.

Alys, I wanted you to have a signed statement from me to prove that I trust you.

Valentine Darsee



Alys looked up. The sun was still shining. Bees buzzed over a bed of petunias. A group of elderly ladies power-walked past her. She could not believe what she’d just read. His explanation for his interference with Bungles and Jena had not appeased her, and she was furious that he’d kept Jena’s presence in Lahore from Bungles. But he’d told her the truth. And if he’d told her the truth about that, then how could she doubt his account about Wickaam? But if Darsee was telling the truth, then Wickaam had lied.

Alys recalled Wickaam’s face as they’d sat in Pak Tea House and he’d related his tale. He’d sounded so sincere. And yet here was this letter from Darsee. A letter in which he’d confessed to his sister having premarital sex that had ended in an abortion. In Pakistan, no one in their right mind would make up such a thing, let alone a brother about his sister.

It occurred to Alys that when Wickaam had smiled at Darsee at the Wagah border, it had been a sheepish smile. That it was Wickaam who’d decided to back out of attending NadirFiede’s walima. Wickaam who was always keen to demean Darsee.

Poor Juju! Poor maids! Should she warn Miss Jahanara Ana Aan that her fiancé was a heinous man and a father of children whom he did not acknowledge? ‘Father’ was the wrong word. Wickaam was not a father. He was just a man who’d sired children. But what concrete proof could she offer without betraying Darsee’s confidence?

Alys reread Wickaam’s section. She read it several times. After she was done, she marched on the jogging path, trying to regain composure. She felt dizzy and sick. Wickaam must have seen the Binat name on the Fraudia Acre case papers and assumed they had money. Upon realising they had none, he’d perhaps decided that if not marriage for money, then he could attain something else from one of them. He’d never tried anything untoward with her, but Alys recalled his attentions to Qitty, and she shuddered at the memory of Wickaam sleeping over while Lady pranced around in her nightie. Shame on their society, where maintaining unsoiled reputations was considered more vital than exposing scoundrels, for such secrets only allowed the scoundrels to continue causing harm.

Alys stopped walking and read the letter again. And then again. Each time, she felt a fresh pinch at ‘maternal ancestry’, and anger that Darsee had believed this rumour as readily as everyone else seemed to. She also felt nauseous over his allegations about her family’s crude behaviour. The truth, as much as it stung, was that his charges were valid. And hadn’t Sherry also feared that Jena’s guardedness could be read as blatant indifference? But Alys was not going to blame Jena. She’d told Darsee that women were stuck in a bind, and they were.

Darsee had apologised for withholding word of Jena’s presence in Lahore from Bungles. He’d written, I’m sorry I lied to you. I am not a liar. And from everything she could see, Darsee was a doting brother. Why had she so readily believed Wickaam?

Because she’d wanted to believe him. Alys swallowed her disappointment in herself. In Wickaam’s case, she’d been favourably biased, and in Darsee’s unfavourably prejudiced. She’d been flattered by Wickaam’s attentions and offended by Darsee’s initial dismissive assessment of her looks and her intellect. She’d readily welcomed Wickaam’s – a total stranger’s – derision of Darsee, and, even worse, she’d added to it.

Alys groaned as she recalled how she’d compared Wickaam to Darsee and told him he could never be loyal. His proposal had been conceited, there was no denying that, but she’d been petty in her rejection.

Alys wasn’t sure how she was going to react when she saw Darsee next, but when she finally ended her walk and returned to Sherry’s house, the Loocluses were discussing the day’s events: Raghav had left this morning as scheduled for K2, and Darsee had suddenly decided to return to Lahore. Beena dey Bagh had telephoned to cancel dinner.

By and by, Kaleen decided that the cancellation was a stroke of good luck, since the Loocluses and Alys were scheduled to leave three days from now and this would allow them time to wrap up things. Three days later, the Looclus family and Alys set off for Lahore and from there to Dilipabad. As had been the case before, the Loocluses dropped Alys off at Nisar and Nona’s and popped in for chai before heading to their relatives’ house. They would pick up Alys and Jena the next morning.