Unexpected Eva (Triple Trouble #3)(35)

Unable to look at him, I clench my eyes shut.

Holding my breath, my heart plunges into darkness and suddenly I’m not feeling quite so brave.

I don’t like liquor-fueled Ewan. He’s petrifying.

Tightening his grip, Ewan snarls close to my lips. “Don’t ever speak to me like that again. You are still fucking mine.” I lose my footing as he pushes me aggressively out of his hold, having to grab on to the walls on either side of the vestibule to steady me.

His toxic breath reeks of booze and he smells like he hasn’t washed in a week. Bile rises in my throat from fear, sadness, and disgust. Heaven knows what Ruby sees in him.

“I have to go,” I say in a whispered voice, rubbing my wrist to relieve the dull throb.

On a backward step, I move away from him, being as subtle as I can to retreat slowly into the safety of my home.

Like an angry bull, eyes on me, head bowed, his chest heaves up and down with fury. Nostrils flared. I’m not sure what he’ll do next.

He’s getting worse. Braver. More aggressive. More everything and I don’t like it.

Pushing for information, he asks, “Was it Lincoln Black you were with all weekend? Don’t think I didn’t see his car here on Friday night. You’re a fucking slu—”

Finding my strength, I back into the house and firmly slam, then lock the door in Ewan’s face before he calls me any more hate-filled words.

This doesn’t stop him, though. He continues his tirade of insults, banging his fists against the closed door. Ranting his dislike at my staying out all weekend.

Staring at the door, I can’t help but wonder what I did to deserve this.

Blood jets into my petrified heart, making it pound hard against my chest.

Offering solace, a little hand delicately takes mine. “He’s angry, Mommy. I don’t like Daddy shouting at you.”

I crouch down. “I’m okay, Hamish.” I cup my youngest son’s face reassuringly, sweep his dark brown locks off his forehead, then give his nose a little bop.

Archie appears by my side. “I don’t want him to pick me up from school this week.” He shakes his bowed head. “He says not nice things about you. I don’t like it.”

I loop my arm around Archie’s waist. “I know. I’m sorry, Archie.”

Knox was right. I have to get a better lawyer. We can’t continue like this.

Ewan slams his fists into the door with an almighty thunder, making all three of us jump.

“You’re turning my boys against me. You’re poisoning them, you bitch,” he yells through the door.

He’s doing a mighty fine job of that himself.

Desperately, I try to cover the boys' ears, one on each side of my face with my hands over their innocent ears.

“What’s a bitch?” Hamish asks.

Epic fail.

“Oh, you can’t say that, Hamish,” Archie gasps. “That’s a bad word. A very bad word.”

“But Daddy said it,” he says in his sweet voice.

Unable to make words, I remain quiet.

Holding them a couple minutes more, making sure I’m safe to move, I lean out of our three-way hug.

“Daddy’s gone now,” Archie says. “It’s always better when he leaves. Like sunshine after the rain.” He fiddles with my dangling gold earring. He’s done that since he was a baby. “You’re always like sunshine, Mommy. You shine brighter than the sun.”

Knox called me Sunshine too.

“A pretty rainbow,” Hamish cutely tweets. “I like rainbows.”

“Yeah?” I can’t hold my emotions in anymore as a couple of lonely tears escape and roll down my cheek. “I love you two boys. Do you know that? With all my heart. I love you both so much. I’m so sorry.” I blink over and over, patting my cheeks dry.

My sweet boys.

“What you sorry for, Momma?” Hamish, asks, all wide-eyed and innocent.

Where to begin, baby boy. I have so many regrets.

“That you had to hear that. Daddy’s behavior is not good at the moment. But he’s not well. We have to remember what he used to be like. Sometimes we make choices in life, some good and some not so good. At the moment, Daddy isn’t making very good choices. Remember, the choices we make affect other people.”

“Like the cup filling story, Mom?” Archie smiles.

“Yes, Archie, exactly like the cup story. Fill someone's cup up with kindness, joy, and laughter, and what happens?”

“They feel happy.” They both raise their hands and smile with glee.

“Yes! But what if we say not nice things and we fill them up with unkindness?”

“They feel blue and sad.” They both downturn their mouths, making sad faces.

Finding my strength, I crack a smile. “Exactly. If I tell you I love you, Hamish, how do you feel?”

He giggles when I tickle his sides. “Hap-pee. My cup is full.”

“Yay, we have one happy boy. And what about you Archie? If I tell you I love you and I’m so proud of you winning house captain at school this week, how does it make you feel?”

“Double happy.”

“Wow, that’s a lot of happiness. Annnnd what about if I told you we are having ice cream after dinner? How much happier would that make you?”