Unbreakable(58)

After we place our orders with the waitress, Violet, Peyton, and Dylan do their best to make small talk, which is challenging since Dylan isn’t big on conversation. Emmy doesn’t join in. She keeps her eyes on the table, looking so uncomfortable that it breaks my heart. I can’t bear it another second.

“Em? Can we go outside for a few minutes? I need to talk to you.”

She snaps her head up, and a spark of emotion flashes in those pretty green eyes. “Oh, so now you want to talk?” Her voice holds a note of anger that’s impossible to miss.

I know she’s referring to our recent phone conversation, and I’m quickly hit with a healthy dose of guilt. I’d hung up on her. Acted like I didn’t want to hear from her. When in reality, all I’d wanted to do was sit and talk with her for hours.

A week ago, I thought that I was doing the right thing. But now that she’s here in front of me, I realize that more than two months have passed and I’m in the exact same place as I was before. I’m still hung up on her, and our situations haven’t improved. I don’t know what the hell to do anymore.

“Yeah.” I nod slowly. “Just for a minute?”

“Fine.” Emmy gives a curt nod as Peyton stands to let her out of the booth.

“Are you sure, Emmy?” Peyton asks, giving me a withering stare. “You don’t have to go if you don’t want to.”

Oh, if looks could kill.

“It’s okay, Peyton,” she says. “I’ll be fine.”

I motion for her to go ahead of me and follow her out of the front door. Despite Glyka not being busy, Danforth Avenue is bustling. People are gathered together in small groups, chatting or smoking while they wait for a table at one of the many restaurants in the neighborhood.

Emmy glances up at me uncertainly, and I put my hand on the small of her back. “Let’s find somewhere private to talk.”

I lead her behind Glyka and into an empty alleyway. It’s quiet, and there aren’t many people walking along the side streets.

Emmy leans against the brick wall and keeps her eyes on the ground.

“How are you doing?” I finally ask.

“How do you think I’m doing?” she replies, glancing up at me. Her eyes shine with unshed tears. “Besides, why do you even care?”

“I do care,” I counter. “I’ve never stopped caring about you.”

“You hurt me, Mav.” Her voice is soft, but the pain there is unmistakable. “You hurt me so much.”

“Em.” I step closer to shelter her from the wind that’s whipping through the alley. “I never meant for you to be the one hurt in all of this,” I say quietly, running my hands up and down her arms. “Please, you have to understand that.”

She brushes impatiently at the tears gathering in the corner of her eyes. “But I am the one who’s hurt! The way you left things at the cottage, and the things you said to me? You were cruel, Will. Especially when you told me that you couldn’t be my friend anymore. You just completely cut me off. And when I finally—finally—got up the nerve to reach out to you, you acted like you never wanted to hear from me again.”

Seeing the damage I’ve done here, and how badly I’ve f*cked everything up? I feel just like I did back at the cottage on that horrible night: beaten, bruised, and sick to my stomach.

She looks down at the pavement and shakes her head. “I have no idea what’s left for us to say to each other. And I don’t know why you’ve pulled me back here, because you’ve made yourself very clear, okay? I get it. You don’t want anything to do with me.”

“No,” I choke out. I pull Emmy into my arms and bury my face against her neck. I’m shaking with emotion as I swallow down all of my frustrations and regrets.

She grows very still, and I pull back to look down at her face. I reach up to stroke her cheek and get a little lost in those jade eyes.

The resilient look on her face softens a bit as we study each other. Her sweet, minty breath makes little plumes of smoke in the air as she stares up at me in the dim light of the alley.

Even now, amidst all the pain, the sparks arc and jump brightly between us. Our foreheads touch, and her eyes grow hooded and heavy as I slide my hand down to cup the back of her head. It’s the dreamy look I adore so f*cking much.

“Will, what are you doing?” she asks softly.

I press a kiss against her neck and breathe in her sweet honeysuckle and violet-scented skin.

“You asked me on the phone if I missed you. I do miss you, Emmy.” I brush my lips against the shell of her ear. “I miss you so much.”

“No!” She utters a tiny sob and shoves me away. It takes me by complete surprise.

“Em, listen—”

“No! You listen! You don’t get to do this to me, Will. You don’t get to hold and touch me like this just to shut me out all over again when it gets to be too much for you. I’m trying to learn to live without you because that’s what you wanted.”

She backs up another few steps. “This isn’t fair to me,” she continues. “You need to figure out if you want me in your life. But no more of this back and forth. It’s too hard.”

I take off my toque and run a hand through my hair. “I thought that I was doing the right thing for everyone by walking away.” I ball my hands into fists and drag them down over my face. “God, I’m so f*cked up. I’m so f*cked up over this.”