Unbreakable(56)

“Do you mean that?”

“Of course I do.”

“If you really feel that way, then shouldn’t we take a chance to be in each other’s lives again? Can’t we get past all this? I can’t handle not having you as my friend, Will. I-I really miss you. I miss you so much.”

His voice wavers. “You know it’s not that simple.”

“Then tell me how we can simplify it. If you don’t want to see me, we could just talk to each other on the phone, or text each other, couldn’t we?”

This whole conversation is making me feel awful and desperate. I don’t want to play games with him.

He doesn’t respond, so I try again. Though this time, I can’t hide my anguish. I choke back a sob. “Don’t you miss me, too?”

“Oh, f*ck, Em.” His voice is barely audible, and he stops in the middle of whatever he was going to say. “Look, I’m sorry, but I have to go.”

There’s nothing but silence after that, and I realize he’s ended the call.

Tears slip down my cheeks, and soon I can’t stop crying. Sobs rack my body as I hug my pillow and give in to my grieving. I feel like all I do lately is cry, but this conversation seems even more final than the last one we had. He’s serious about this. I’ve really lost him, this time for good.

I’ve never felt so heartsick in my entire life.

And despite how much he’s hurt me, I still can’t help but be worried sick about him. He has no family. Other than the team and a few friends, he’s got no support system in place.

Now that he’s cut me off and Sully’s not talking to him, who’s going to help him through all of the tough times? Who’s going to be there to celebrate the good ones?

I’ve never really known what it’s like to feel truly hopeless before now, but I just can’t see any way out of this mess.



*

One week later

“Jesus Christ, Emmy,” Peyton mutters as she steps through my front door. Violet follows her inside, and her mouth drops open when she sees me.

“Honey? When was the last time you slept?” Violet asks me. Her eyes skim over my SpongeBob Squarepants pajamas.

Peyton’s staring in horror at my hair, which is wound into a messy topknot and hasn’t seen a straightening iron or shampoo in at least five days.

“I’ve been working,” I say defensively, leading them into the kitchen. “Anyway, I thought we could eat dinner here instead of going out.” I point to the two pizzas, sodas, and large garden salad I ordered.

“You’ve obviously not been working in front of the camera,” Peyton says, raising an eyebrow. “You look like shit.”

“We know you’ve been working a lot,” Violet says, shooting Peyton a look. “That’s why we thought we’d take you out tonight. Maybe see a movie and go out to dinner. You need to take a break and get out of the house for a while.”

“Or we could just throw you into a shower,” offers Peyton.

Violet glares in her direction, and Peyton shrugs. “Look, we’re her friends. She should know when she’s starting to smell like stale coffee and…” She sniffs. “Is that sour milk?”

I wave my hand. “I spilled cereal on my top two days ago. Look, I’m sorry my appearance doesn’t meet your strict standards, but I’m trying to edit a bunch of videos I made last week.”

“Really, Em? When? Between bouts of crying over Will? Your eyes are puffy and bloodshot,” Peyton says. “You look like the poster child for heartbreak. It’s depressing.”

“I don’t want to talk about Will,” I say, opening the pizza box. “I mean it. If that’s what you’re here for, you’re just wasting your time.”

“We’re here to spend time with you,” Violet says gently. “We just wish you would get out of the house for a bit. It’s not healthy being cooped up so much.”

I sigh and sink into a chair. “I’m tired.”

“You’re stressed,” Violet says. “Come on. Don’t you want to go out with us for a bit? Look at a different set of walls?”

“You guys aren’t going to let this go, are you?”

“Nope,” says Peyton, taking a slice of pizza from the box. “And good move, slick. Ordering pizza for the chicks who spend 24/7 at a pizza shop.” She gives me a thumbs up gesture and an exaggerated wink.

Despite how shitty I feel, I can’t help but laugh. Trust Peyton to speak her mind.

“Fine. I’ll go shower, and we can get out of here for a while. But not too long, okay? I really do have work to do.”

“Okay,” Violet agrees.

“I’ll be back down soon,” I tell them.

“That’s okay, take your time!” Peyton says. “Really. Take a lot of time. I’m sure it’s going to be work getting those potato chips out of your hair.”

I shake my head and head upstairs to take a long, hot shower. I let the water work the kinks out of my back. It feels so good that I stay under the spray until the water runs cold.

Afterward, I dry and straighten my hair, and then I spend the next fifteen minutes doing my makeup. I’m not sure where they plan on taking me, so I opt for my favorite skinny jeans and knee-high black boots. I pull on a white sweater and examine myself in the mirror.