Unbreakable(35)

“Hey.” He takes a seat next to me. “That’s not true.”

“Will, when I was sick with leukemia as a kid and went through all those treatments, he never even came to the hospital. Not one time. When I asked my mom why he wasn’t there, she said it was because he had to work. But honestly? I think he just can’t stand to see weakness in any form. To him, I was the broken child.”

Will looks stunned. “I didn’t know he never visited you.”

“He wasn’t even there for my mom. He left her—and me—to deal with everything alone. Growing up, it was always all about Sully. I love my brother, but it was hard to live in his shadow.”

He threads his hand through mine. “Em, I’m just not sure he knows how to be a father to a girl. He’s never had a sister, and his mother died when he was young, right? That’s no excuse, but maybe having a girl scared him because he thought he couldn’t relate to you.”

“I know. I think that’s why I was such a tomboy growing up. Part of me wanted him to see past the fact that I was a girl, you know? I just wanted him to see me as his child. I tried to make that as easy as possible for him, but it never worked. He just sees me as weak.”

Will lifts my chin with his finger. “Stop. You’re not weak. I won’t let you cut yourself down like that. You’ve been dealing with a lot over the past two years, and he’s just too lost in his own personal shit to see it.”

God, I adore this man. I wrap him in a hug, and he kisses the top of my head.

“Not to change the subject, but I have to go flip the kabobs. Will you go grab us two beers from the fridge?”

“Gladly,” I say, desperate to put an end to this conversation. I love that Will is so sweet and supportive, but I don’t want to talk about my father right now.

Twenty minutes later, we sit down to a lovely dinner. The sun is slowly sinking over the horizon, and the outside solar lights around the small deck area begin to glow.

Will takes a swig of his beer and studies me. “Are you still thinking about getting your Dad’s girlfriend to help you?”

“I don’t know. It’s probably my last hope.”

“What happens if you don’t go back to New York City? If you just say f*ck it and stay in Toronto? What can he do about it?”

I admit, I’ve thought of taking that approach. But deep down, I know why I haven’t. I’ve just never said it to anyone out loud. No one saw how my father looked at me that day we had dinner in New York City. The disappointed, disgusted expression on his face is something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.

“Because if I do that, it will be all over between my dad and me. Will, he can barely stand to look at me anymore. When we met up in New York during one of his business trips… well, it wasn’t good. I think it’s worse now, because I remind him of my mom, and he hates her.” I glance over at Will. “He’s never told me that he loves me, and if I do that, I’m afraid he won’t feel it anymore, either.”

“Jesus, Em. I had no idea.”

I push my empty plate away. “The pride Dad has for Sully is obvious, you know? That’s his boy. His athletic wonder and the rightful heir to the Sullinger name. Sully’s a winner. He’s strong, fast, smart, and talented.” I pause. “And then there’s me. I’ve always had to work harder in school. I’m petite and fragile because of the treatments I had when I was a kid. I’m just a complete disappointment in his eyes.”

Will is at my side in an instant. “There’s nothing wrong with you,” he says fiercely. “Nothing.”

“He’s told me a few times over the past two years that I’m my mother’s child. If that doesn’t say exactly how he feels, nothing does.”

“I see you, Em,” he says, tipping my chin up with his finger. “I see everything that you are. Your sweetness, your compassion. How you give your all to something, even when it’s not something you want to do. I see how you worry about everyone else’s feelings but your own.” He pauses. “I watched your ZeeTube channel, you know.”

I jerk my head up in shock. “You did? When?”

“After you fell asleep last night. I looked it up on my iPad. I don’t know shit about makeup or whatever, but it’s great. You’re good at explaining all that stuff, and you have a real presence in front of the camera. Plus, I actually learned things.”

My heart leaps in my chest. “Do you mean it? You aren’t just saying that?”

“Hell yeah I mean it.” He grins. “If anyone needs me to do a dramatic smoky eye look in a hurry, I could make that happen after watching your tutorial.”

I wipe the tears from my eyes and let out a snort of laughter. “You could, huh?”

“Yep. And if you tell any of the guys I said that, I’ll take you back to the treehouse and leave you there.”

I cross my heart and smile. “Your secret is safe with me, big bad hockey player.”

“My point is that you’re amazing, Em. You’ve got your own thing going on. Who gives a f*ck if you don’t want to be a lawyer? You’re a badass in your own right, and you deserve a chance to show the world what you’ve got.”

I’m beyond emotional right now. Will believes in me, and he always has. I’ve lost count of the number of times he’s been my sole support system while I was in New York City.