Unbreak My Heart (Unbreak My Heart #1)(68)

Shane smiled as I continued to sing, his eyes soft on my face. “Beautiful,” he mouthed silently, never looking away from my face as the older kids stormed into the kitchen.

I blushed and broke eye contact, spinning Gunner around in a circle.

Shane and I seemed to be dancing around each other, pushing and pulling as we found our new normal. We’d never lived together before, which seemed odd when I thought about it. I’d given birth to his child and we’d been circling each other for a year, yet bumping into him in the bathroom each morning was new and a little embarrassing.

He was trying so hard to get back into my good graces that it was a little bit endearing. He pitched in with the kids, and ran baths for me after the big kids were asleep, taking care of Iris so I could have a few minutes of quiet. He told me I was beautiful, sometimes when all I felt like was a big blob of human.

I loved that he was trying, but I couldn’t help but feel like he’d missed what I was trying to tell him. I wasn’t mad at him—not anymore. No, it went deeper than that. I loved Shane, I’d always loved him, even when I could have strangled him. But there was a bone-deep weariness inside me that I couldn’t seem to shake.

It was as if, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get past the fear that he would leave me again and take the kids with him. I didn’t think I’d survive it.

So I held him at arm’s length, even though I saw how it wore on him. I couldn’t let him bridge that distance no matter how much I wished he would.

We were at a stalemate, both aching for the same thing, but unable to reach it.

“Kids, in the living room while Auntie Kate makes dinner,” Shane called out after the kids had told him all about their days. Poor Gavin had very little to contribute past the large spider he’d found on the outside wall of the house.

I set Gunner on his feet and watched him run clumsily after his brothers and sister before turning to look at Shane. “Pizza sound okay?”

“Pizza sounds great,” he answered huskily, making my heart thump. “Come here.”

I shook my head silently as his mouth pulled up in a small grin. He nodded back, taking a step toward me.

“I have to start dinner,” I mumbled, frozen to the spot.

“You can wait ten minutes.”

“The kids are—” He reached me before I could finish my sentence, and suddenly I was pulled tightly against his chest.

“Ouch,” I hissed, pulling back.

“What’s wrong?” he asked in confusion as I lifted my hands to cover my breasts.

“Iris hasn’t wanted to eat in, like, three hours,” I told him with a shake of my head. “I’m just a little…full.”

“I’ll be careful.” He spun me around so we were both facing the kitchen window and began to sway from side to side. “I want to dance with my woman.”

“Your woman?” I snorted.

“My baby-mama?” he asked with a small chuckle.

“That works.” My breath caught as his arms shifted from my hips to wrap around the front of me.

“I love it when you sing to the kids,” he whispered in my ear, making goose bumps pop out on my neck. “It’s one of my favorite things.”

“You have a list?” I asked breathily as his thumb began to sweep back and forth across the bottom of my breast.

“Mmhmm,” he hummed before he began to sing softly in my ear.

“My voice leaves a lot to be desired,” he said sheepishly after he’d finished singing the first verse, holding me tighter as I tried to turn and look at him. “Nothing like yours.”

“I liked it.”

“Liar.” He chuckled, letting me go.

“I did,” I insisted, spinning to face him.

“I’m going to go shower,” he said uncomfortably, making me laugh.

“You blush like a little girl,” I needled him, jumping when he took a step back toward me.

“I don’t blush,” he argued.

“Oh, yeah, you do. You turn red like a tomato.”

I screeched as he moved for me and laughed hysterically as he chased me around the table.

“Get her!” Keller yelled, running into the room.

“Whoa!” Shane yelped, grabbing my hips and thrusting me behind him before Keller could barrel into me. “No roughhousing with Auntie Kate tonight, okay, bud?”

“Ah man!”

“I know. Dad shouldn’t have chased her,” Shane replied seriously, glancing over his shoulder to flash me a devious smile. “I’m going to shower. Why don’t you see if there’s anything you can help Auntie Kate with?”

Shane reached behind him and gave my hip a light swat before sauntering out of the kitchen. I stared at his ass until I couldn’t see it anymore. Shit.

I shook my head and smiled down at Keller, who was watching me with a weird expression on his face.

*



“Holy shit,” I moaned in the shower later that night. The kids were finally in their beds for the night, and Iris had passed out after nursing a little bit right after dinner. It had been hours since then, and when I’d talked to the advice nurse—who knew me by name after all the times I’d called about Gunner—she’d assured me that Iris could go longer than two hours between feedings.