Unbreak My Heart (Unbreak My Heart #1)(50)

They left the room, and I sat silently listening as Keller screamed the entire way to the car. I had no choice.

I was almost thirty years old, and I’d never hated anyone until that moment.





Chapter 11

Kate



I knew that time had passed since Shane had taken my kids away, but I wasn’t sure how long it had been. It felt like an eternity. The light beyond my closed eyelids slowly disappeared as the sun fell out of the sky, and at some point someone had turned on the lamp sitting on the nightstand next to my bed, but I didn’t open my eyes to find out who had done it. I didn’t care.

I couldn’t move. I could barely breathe. My limbs were so heavy that I wasn’t even sure that I’d be able to roll over. I wondered if this was what it felt like to be dead.

Family came in and out of the bedroom, checking on me and talking in low whispers that they thought I couldn’t hear. Maybe they thought I was asleep, but I wasn’t. Not at any point. I didn’t know if I’d ever be able to sleep again.

Keller’s screams replayed over and over in my ears until I dragged my arm over the side of my head, pushing my biceps hard against my ear. It didn’t help. I could still hear him. I could see the way his frantic eyes had met mine as he’d kicked and screamed.

Finally, blessedly, the sounds melted away until there was only white noise. Everything was blank, almost like I was floating between sleep and wakefulness.

“I’m just gonna keep you company, sis,” my dad’s voice said, floating past the emptiness. The sounds of something heavy hitting the carpet were followed by rustling and the sigh of relief my dad always made as he sat down.

Then there was nothing again.

Voices came and went. Someone brushed my hair back from my face, but I still didn’t move.

Iris squirmed restlessly then must have gone to sleep. My belly tightened on and off, but it didn’t hurt, so I ignored it.

“I wish Alex was here,” Ani said softly, lying down on the bed next to me.

I wasn’t sure if she was talking to me or not, but I didn’t reply. I didn’t want Alex. I didn’t want my dad who wouldn’t leave the room or my mom who sat at the foot of the bed rubbing my feet. I didn’t want Ani or Bram or my uncle and aunt, who’d stopped by for a while but hadn’t stayed. It had to have been weird for them, knowing that a man they considered their son had done this to me.

Our family dynamics were so odd; I wondered sometimes how the outside world saw us.

Me, Bram, Alex, Trevor, and Ellie and Mike’s other son Henry had all grown up together since we were kids. We acted, looked, and felt like cousins even though our appearances were so different. Over the years, we’d even picked up facial expressions from our parents that strengthened the similarities. Shane and Anita, though, had come in when most of us were almost grown. They were considered ours, but they didn’t share our history or have the same type of bond—which was probably a good thing considering the fact that Shane had gotten me pregnant, and Anita and Bram…I didn’t even know what the hell to say about them. Something was going on between them, just below the surface, but neither of them talked about it.

Anita shifted beside me, and I wanted to scream at her to leave me alone. I didn’t want to feel her moving or hear her murmuring to Bram. I wanted to be nothing. I wanted to find my blank spot and stay there so that my chest didn’t feel like it was breaking open each time I inhaled. If not for the baby nestled below my heart, I’m not sure what I would have done to find that place.

“What the f*ck do you want?” Bram’s voice rumbled from somewhere below the bed. He must have been sitting on the floor, but I didn’t bother to open my eyes to check. It didn’t matter. None of it mattered. “Fuck you, douchebag,” Bram said. He needed to go away if he was going to talk on the phone.

“Not as easy as you thought to take a kid from the only mother he’s ever known, huh?” Bram said nastily.

“Bram, is that Shane?” my mom asked in confusion.

Bile rose in my throat, and I tried valiantly to swallow it back down. Oh God, I couldn’t breathe. Bram nodded, and my throat closed up.

“Hold on,” Bram ordered into the phone. “Katiebear, Shane’s on the phone.”

“What’s wrong?” I choked out, uncovering my head. I’d been lying there so long that my arm was completely numb and I could barely move it.

“He said Gunner’s upset, and he can’t get him calmed down,” Bram said, pushing himself up off the floor.

I didn’t even realize I was crying until I nodded and the air hit the wet spots on my cheeks. “Hey, Dad,” I said, my voice hoarse, “can you grab my guitar for me?”

I pushed awkwardly against the mattress and sat up with Ani’s help as my dad opened up my guitar case in the corner. I only knew of one way that Gunner would settle down so late at night. Inhaling a shaky breath, I dug my fingertips into my eyes, trying to control the feeling of helplessness. My baby was crying for me, and I couldn’t hold him or rub his back—but this, I could do this.

“Ask him to put the phone on speaker, okay?” I said to Bram, my voice catching on the last word. My belly went hard as a rock and pain hit me with the force of a sledgehammer as I took the guitar from my dad and rested it on my thighs. I breathed through my nose for a minute as I pretended to get situated. I could barely reach the strings with my massive belly in the way. “Put yours on speaker, too, brother,” I said, watching as Bram nodded and hit the SPEAKERPHONE button before setting his phone on the bed.