Unbreak My Heart (Unbreak My Heart #1)(46)
He watched me with curious eyes.
“Want to say hi, Gunner?” Ellie asked.
“Hi.” His voice was raspier than I remembered from the few words he’d said before I left, and my chest tightened. I’d missed so much.
“Hi!” I smiled. “Want to come hang out with me and the other kids?”
I stuck my hands out and waited for what felt like forever before he finally leaned away from Ellie and reached for me.
He was smaller than Keller and Gavin had been at that age. Both my older boys had been built like tanks from the very beginning, but Gunner was more streamlined. Tall and lanky. I clenched my jaw and kissed his forehead as he watched me closely.
I remembered this moment with Sage and Gavin. They’d both been so little when I left on deployments that they hadn’t remembered me when I got home, but thankfully little kids seemed to adapt pretty fast. I didn’t think Gunner would be any different. It would just take a few days for him to grow used to me.
I don’t think I’d ever been as happy to be home as I was in that moment.
“Okay, kiddos,” I announced, looking between the little bodies jumping around the entryway. “Tell me what you’ve been up to while I’ve been gone.”
Chapter 10
Kate
I sat back down in my hospital bed and started brushing out my wet hair. God, I hated the hospital.
I missed the kids. I missed sleeping deeply. I missed my mom’s cooking and the smell of summer outside.
I hadn’t been in the hospital very long, and the doctors said they only wanted me to stay one more day, since I was almost full term, but I was going stir-crazy. Shane was coming home soon, and my anxiety was building as I prepared for the day he’d get home and realize that we were still in Oregon.
When we’d first arrived at my parents’ house, I’d cried in relief. I’d just been so unbelievably tired. And for the first couple of weeks after that, I’d felt like a new person. With our families around, I’d had far less to do and more time to do it. Everyone pitched in with the kids so I could work during the day instead of late at night. I hadn’t had to bend over the bathtub anymore to give the kids baths because my mom or Aunt Ellie did it, which meant my back wasn’t killing me when I crawled into bed at night.
It had felt like for the first time since Shane had left, I’d been able to relax.
I’d needed that break.
But as I’d slowly prepared myself to go back to California with my little monsters, taking over their day-to-day needs from the other women, my body had begun to protest. It was as if, once I slowed down and my body realized it was possible, it wouldn’t let me go back to the way things had been.
I began to have contractions, and the doctors put me on bed rest.
The window for making it back to California before I had the baby was closed, but I couldn’t tell Shane that. Instead, I’d ignored the questions in his emails and avoided that conversation when he called.
I didn’t want him to worry when he was halfway around the world, especially when that worry could distract him…I also didn’t want to make him angry. We’d grown so close over the last six months that I dreaded anything that would upset the fragile balance we’d found.
He hadn’t told me not to go to Oregon, but he also hadn’t been happy about it. If he’d known that we were stuck there, I wasn’t sure how he’d react.
I was setting my brush down on the bedside table when the door to my room slowly opened but no one greeted me.
“What’s—Shane?”
I couldn’t believe my eyes.
There he was. Tan and healthy and strong, standing in the doorway to my hospital room. My heart raced.
“How’re you feeling?” he asked as he finally stepped inside and let the door swing shut behind him.
“I feel fine,” I answered with a surprised smile and a roll of my eyes. “No contractions for the last twelve hours, but they want to be careful. How are you here?”
I knew better than to hop from the bed and run to him, but I could barely hold myself back as he froze inside the doorway. The longer he stood there, the more awkward things became, until finally I felt my hands begin to tremble.
I thought I’d have time to prepare before I saw him, and now that the time had come, I felt out of place in my own hospital room. I was extremely aware of my ugly hospital gown and swollen feet. My stomach felt rounder and more conspicuous, and I hated that my hair was wet and brushed haphazardly away from my face.
“You should have told me,” he suddenly stated.
“Why, so you could just worry? I’m fine.” I shook my head. “The baby is fine, the kids are fine, everything was handled.”
“I left you in charge,” he said quietly. His tone making me freeze. “You didn’t think I deserved to know that they weren’t with the person I’d left them with, but that Ellie and Mike were taking care of my kids while I was gone?”
“I—I didn’t—”
“You don’t get to make unilateral decisions about my children, Kate. That’s above your pay grade.”
He was calm, and his voice never rose, but I felt like I’d been slapped.
“I apologize,” I replied. “The decision was made with the best intentions. I didn’t want you to worry, and I’ve seen the kids every day I’ve been here. Either my mom or Ellie drives them in.”