Unbreak My Heart (Unbreak My Heart #1)(38)

“Nope, don’t worry. I’m on top of things.”

“That’s not why I asked.”

“Yes it is.” I huffed out a small laugh. “It’s fine.”

“I’m really sorry, Katie.”

“Nothing to be sorry about,” I replied smoothly. I wasn’t playing that game with him again. I was so tired of the push and pull that seemed to happen constantly. As far as I was concerned, if he was sorry, he wouldn’t keep saying shitty things over and over.

I knew his background. He’d spent his entire childhood shuffled in and out of different foster homes. I knew that he’d always had a hard time thinking before he spoke, especially when he was emotional. We had that in common. However, I had never been someone who lashed out in anger like Shane did. Our histories were completely opposite, and because of that I’d forgiven him a lot. But at some point, you had to grow the f*ck up and act like an adult.

“Stop acting like that,” Shane said.

“Like what?”

“Like I didn’t hurt your feelings!” he growled into the phone.

“You didn’t. You were worried about the kids—I got it.”

“Goddammit.” He sighed.

We were silent for long seconds before he started speaking again.

“Do you know how hard this is for me?” he asked. “You’re sick, and I can’t do shit about it, because I’m f*cking stuck here. It doesn’t matter how sick you’re feeling or what’s happening back home. I’m. Stuck. Here.”

“I know, that must be hard—”

“I’m sorry, okay? I shouldn’t have snapped at you the last time we talked. I wasn’t mad at you.”

“Okeydokey.”

“Knock it the f*ck off.”

“Shane, I don’t want to go back and forth with you. You hate me, you want me, you think I’m cool then I’m irritating. I’m pregnant and taking care of four kids under eight years old. I don’t have the time or energy to worry about how you feel about me.”

“Katie—” He paused for a long moment. “I was frustrated that you were having a hard time, and I didn’t react well. It’s not because I think you aren’t taking really good care of the kids…It’s because I was angry I wasn’t there to take care of you and the kids. Okay?”

“Well, you’re chatty tonight,” I replied, the joke falling flat. I didn’t know what to do with the words pouring out of his mouth. I didn’t know how to reply.

“Shit, Kate. It took me two weeks to talk to you. I had a lot of time to run through the apology in my head,” he grumbled, making me snort.

“Just…tone it down, okay?” I asked, moving out of the kitchen where I’d been making dinner. “You don’t have to snap at me every time you’re worried or whatever. It’s exhausting and pisses me off.”

“Yeah, and you do the silent-treatment shit like a champ.”

“Damn straight.”

“You’re okay?” He suddenly changed the subject.

“Yeah, Shane, I’m good. Getting rounder. The doctor says that’s supposed to happen.”

“I bet you’ll be cute as f*ck. Oh, speaking of how cute you’ll be—they have computers here so we can Skype. Can you set that up on your end?”

“Shane, I’m a web designer. I’ve got Skype.”

“Awesome. Shit, my time’s up,” he said as I heard someone speaking in the background. “I’ll call again when I can. Tell the kids I love them, okay?”

“Oh crap! You didn’t even get a chance to talk to them.”

“I’ll email you later today with my Skype info, and we can plan out a chat sometime this week—they’ll be stoked.”

“Yeah, they’ll freak. Be careful, okay?”

“Always.”

I waited for him to hang up, but after a few moments I could still hear him breathing.

“Hey, Katie?” he called quietly.

“Yeah?”

“I’m really glad you’re feeling better, beautiful. Take care of my son, okay?”

It took me a second to understand what he was saying, and when I did, I couldn’t stop the small smile that stretched my lips. “It could be a girl, you know.”

“Nope. It’ll be a boy,” he argued, and I knew he was smiling back at me. “Bye, Katie.”

“Bye, Shane.”

I stood silently for a long time in the archway between the living room and the kitchen, watching the kids as they played. It was going to be a long five months.

*



The next few months passed slowly and quickly at the same time. It felt as if things were moving at a snail’s pace when the kids and I were waiting on a Skype call from Shane, but when I had a deadline coming up, I had to race to meet it.

Work was going okay, even though I’d had to cut back yet again. I just didn’t have the energy to take on as much and still do my job well, and I hated the thought of giving people mediocre work. I also hadn’t anticipated that I’d still be feeling like shit almost six months into my pregnancy.

The doctors said I was still feeling the effects of morning sickness and I was anemic.