Unbreak My Heart (Unbreak My Heart #1)(21)

When I was five and Trevor came to stay with Aunt Ellie and Uncle Mike, my parents had some sort of epiphany. Less than a year later, our family had also started taking in kids who for one reason or another needed a place to stay. So, for the first time in my life, I had siblings. Loads of siblings. Siblings I had to say good-bye to far more often than I wanted. Then out of nowhere, in the middle of a heat wave during the long days of summer, came a pair of brothers that my parents would eventually adopt—which meant I got to keep them forever. My twin brothers, Alex and Abraham, stepped onto our front porch when I was eight and they were ten, and they never had to leave again. And thank God, because four years later my trusting and forgiving nature had trapped me into a situation that could have turned out very badly if Bram and Alex hadn’t chosen that exact moment to find me outside with our newest foster brother.

After that, my parents had never again fostered any children older than me and had refused to take in any more boys. They’d let their guard down, too, and I don’t know if they’ll ever forgive themselves for that. My parents took in their last foster child when I was seventeen, and that’s when I met Anita. She didn’t want to be adopted, even though legally my parents could have, but she’d also never left. She stayed with my parents for her last two years of high school and had moved into the garage apartment so she could attend college after that.

With all those children and all their problems, my aunt and mom had become interrogators that would make the CIA look up and take notice. They’d seen everything and heard everything, and no attitude or personality could withstand them when they had their minds set on something. Unfortunately, that also meant that I’d be telling my mother whatever she wanted to know.

“Anything new happening?”

“She fuh-reaking told you!” I yelled, slamming my hand down against the bedding, making the fresh scent of Tide float up around me. Shane had washed my sheets!

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“I’m pregnant,” I retorted with a growl.

“What?” she asked in feigned surprise.

“I’m going to kill Anita.”

“No you’re not. She was worried. Don’t be mad at her.”

“She’s nosy! I should have told you. I wanted to tell you.” I began to sniffle. Nothing was how I’d imagined it. Nothing was going right.

“Oh, baby,” my mom said softly. “I’m sorry. I know that kind of thing is important. I would have waited until you called me, but Ani said you were sick and I was worried…”

“I know, Ma. It’s fine, I’m just—it’s these stupid hormones! I can’t get a handle on it. I swear I want to kill someone, and within seconds I’m crying because one of my toes has chipped nail polish.”

“I remember that. If you’re anything like me, you’re going to be a nightmare to live with.”

“Good thing I live alone then,” I mumbled, wiping my face on my clean sheets. Take that, Shane.

“You want to talk about it?”

“Not especially.”

“Are you going to anyway?”

“Yeah.” I sighed, curling up into a ball and pulling the bedding over my head.

“What’s going on, lovey?”

“I slept with Shane,” I mumbled, sort of hoping she wouldn’t understand me.

“Well…that was a long time coming.”

“What?”

“Katie, you and Shane have been circling around each other for years—ever since you were kids.”

“Mom, he married my best friend. I’m not sure I’d call that circling.”

“Katiebear, I’m going to tell you something, and you can take it however you want.”

“I don’t think I want to hear it.”

“Tough.”

I snorted a laugh, and it was the first time I’d laughed since I’d found out I was pregnant. My mom could always do that—somehow make the bad seem not-so-bad with a few carefully chosen words. I hoped I could do that one day.

“Back when you were kids…Shane was running.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m not going to say he didn’t love Rachel. I’d never say that, because it plain isn’t true. I know he loved her—you could see it when they were together. But Katie…they never lived together for any significant period of time.”

“It’s his job, Mom—”

“You don’t have to defend him to me, Katherine Eleanor. I know that boy, and I’ve loved him since he moved in with your uncle and aunt. What I’m saying is that Rachel was easy for him to love, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. She was what he needed, and I was always glad he found that in her.”

“They were perfect together,” I whispered, my throat growing tight.

“Well, I wouldn’t say that.”

“What?”

“Shane needed someone to take him at face value back then, lovey, and Rachel did that…you didn’t.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” My heart began to thump hard in my chest, and my hands grew clammy.

“Well, I guess Aunt Ellie and I always thought that you were too much for him.”