Unbreak My Heart (Unbreak My Heart #1)(17)

“You’re right. I absolutely had no right to send Keller to his room for being a demanding little brat.”

“Don’t call him a brat.”

“If it looks like a brat, and talks like a brat, it’s usually a brat.”

“You couldn’t just make him some f*cking pancakes?”

“Are you shitting me right now?” I hissed, stepping forward. “I don’t mind making Keller pancakes! If he’d asked, I probably would have said, Sure, baby, you want some chocolate chips in those? But he didn’t ask. He demanded pancakes.”

“He’s four.”

“He’s five. And he knows better than to talk to adults like that.”

“You’re blowing this out of proportion,” he said dismissively, turning back to the coffeepot to get his own cup.

“So it’s okay for him to hit me? Is that what you’re getting at? Give him what he wants so he doesn’t throw a huge-ass tantrum?”

“I told him he shouldn’t have hit you—that’s why he’s in his room right now.”

I sat down heavily at the table and rested my tired eyes on the heels of my hands. Shane wasn’t hearing me. He was so f*cking wrapped up in his own importance, and he couldn’t even see where I was coming from. “What are you even doing home?”

“Got let out early since it’s Friday and there wasn’t shit to do,” he answered, coming to sit across from me at the table.

“Okay, well, I’m going to go say good-bye to Kell before I go.” I stood wearily from the table.

“We need to talk. You got a few minutes before you leave?”

“Yeah. Let me go check on Kell first,” I replied, turning toward the stairs.

I hated stairs; they seemed to mock me and my lack of energy.

When I got to Keller’s room, he was passed out across the foot of his bed. Throwing the gigantic hissy fit must have worn him out—either that or the hissy fit had been because he was so tired. God, I missed the sweet little boy who thought I was God’s gift to nephews.

“He’s asleep, exactly what I’m going to be the second I get home,” I informed Shane as I made my way back into the kitchen.

“You look like you’ve lost weight,” he said out of the blue.

“I probably have. What did you want to talk about?”

“Can you still stay with the kids while I’m on deployment?” he asked nervously.

“It’s a little late to be asking. What if I said no? You have like three weeks, Shane.”

“Are you saying no?”

“Of course not, but we have some other shit to discuss.”

“What other shit?” He turned his mug around and around between his palms and I couldn’t seem to look away from the sight. His long fingers—nope, I wasn’t going to go there. “I’ll set up an allotment that goes straight to your account for bills and shit while I’m gone, groceries and stuff. I can always change—”

“I’m pregnant,” I blurted without warning or buildup. If I’d had a serrated blade, I could have cut out my own tongue then.

“You’re what?”

“Pregnant.”

He stared at me blankly for a long time, and I was afraid to say anything else, but then his face lost the blank look and turned completely emotionless.

“Can you still keep the kids, or is it going to be a problem?”

“It’s not an it. It’s a baby.”

“I need to know if you can still stay with the kids.”

“Of course I can, Shane, God! Could you follow the f*cking conversation?” I finally snapped, annoyed at his lack of response. “I am pregnant. The baby is yours. Now it’s your turn to speak.”

“I’m not sure what you want me to say here, Kate,” he replied calmly, but his fingers had tightened around the coffee mug until his knuckles were white.

“Anything. At this point, I’d take anything,” I replied tiredly, my heart racing.

“Are you sure it’s mine?”

My body went cold then, the sweat I’d felt underneath my arms growing cool so quickly I almost shivered. “Anything but that,” I whispered hoarsely, with a small shake of my head.

I rose to leave without another word, and he didn’t stop me as I kissed the boys good-bye and slipped on my shoes.

“When Keller wakes up, please tell him I love him,” I called out as I reached the door. “I’ll pick Sage up from school today since I already told her I would.”

I heard his chair skid across the linoleum and his voice calling my name, but I didn’t stop. I couldn’t handle any more that day.





Chapter 4

Kate



I f*cked up,” I announced into the phone as I lay on the bathroom floor.

“Well, hello to you, too,” my foster sister Anita retorted. “Why are you echoing?”

“I’m in the bathroom—”

“I really don’t want to talk to you while you shit.”

“I’m not shitting, Ani. Fuck, I f*cked up so bad.” My voice caught on the last few words, and I couldn’t hide the sob that came out of me. I was so tired, and my whole body seemed to ache from the amount of vomiting I’d done. I couldn’t keep anything down—why couldn’t I keep anything down?