Ugly Love: A Novel(72)

“Good night, Cap.”

Miles and I both watch until the door closes behind Cap. I pull my hands away from his neck and gently push against his chest until he steps back in order for me to make my way around him. I swim backward toward the other side of the pool.

“Why are you always so rude to him?” I ask.

Miles lowers himself in the water, parting his arms in front of him and kicking off the wall behind him. He swims toward me, and I watch as his eyes remain focused on mine. I swim backward until my back is against the opposite wall of the pool. He continues toward me, almost crashing into me, but he stops himself by gripping the ledge on both sides of my head, sending waves of water against my chest.

“I’m not rude to him.” His lips meet my neck, and he kisses it softly, trailing slowly upward until his mouth is close to my ear. “I just don’t like answering questions.”

I think we’ve established that already.

I pull my neck away a few inches in order to see his face. I try to focus on his eyes, but there are drops of water on his lips, and it’s hard not to stare. “He’s an old man, though. You’re not supposed to be rude to old people. And he’s pretty damn funny, if you’d just get to know him.”

Miles laughs a little. “You like him, huh?” He seems amused.

I nod. “Yeah. I like him a lot. Sometimes I like him more than I like you.”

He laughs loudly this time and leans in again, planting a kiss on my cheek. His hand conforms to the nape of my neck, and his eyes drop to my mouth. “I like that you like him,” he says, bringing his eyes up to mine. “I won’t be rude to him again. Promise.”

I bite my lip so that he doesn’t see how much I want to smile at the fact that he just made me a promise. It was a simple promise. But it still feels good.

He slides his hand around to my jaw, and his thumb meets my lip. He pulls it away from my teeth. “What did I tell you about hiding that smile?” He takes my bottom lip between his teeth and bites it gently, then releases it.

It feels as if the temperature in the pool just shot up twenty degrees.

His mouth meets my throat, and he breathes out a heavy sigh against my skin. I tilt my head back and let it rest against the ledge of the pool as he kisses his way down my neck.

“I don’t want to swim any more,” he says, sliding his lips from the base of my throat all the way up to my mouth again.

“Well, then, what do you want to do?” I whisper weakly.

“You,” he says without hesitation. “In my shower. From behind.”

I swallow a huge gulp of air and feel it fall all the way to the pit of my stomach. “Wow. That’s very specific.”

“And also in my bed,” he whispers. “With you on top, still soaking wet from the shower.”

I inhale sharply, and we can both hear the tremble of my breath as I exhale. “Okay,” I try to say, but his mouth is on mine before the word is even all the way out.

And once again, what should have been an eye-opening conversation for me is shoved aside to make room for the only thing he’s willing to give me.





chapter thirty


MILES


Six years earlier

We quietly walk to an empty waiting area. My father sits first, and I reluctantly sit across from him.

I wait for his confession, but he doesn’t know I don’t need it. I know about his relationship with Lisa.

I know how long it’s been going on.

“Your mother and I . . .” He’s looking at the floor.

He can’t even make eye contact with me.

“We decided to separate when you were sixteen. However, with as much as I traveled, it made financial sense for us to wait until you graduated before filing for divorce, so that’s what we decided to do.”

Sixteen?

She got sick when I was sixteen.

“We had been split up for almost a year when I met Lisa.”

He’s looking at me now. He’s being honest.

“When she found out she was sick, it was the right thing to do, Miles. She was your mother, and I wasn’t going to leave her when she needed me the most.”

My chest hurts.

“I know you’ve put two and two together,” he says. “I know you’ve done the math. I know you’ve been hating me, thinking I was having an affair while she was sick, and I hated allowing you to think that.”

“Then why did you?” I ask him. “Why did you let me think that?”

He looks at the floor again. “I don’t know,” he says. “I thought maybe there was a chance that you didn’t realize I’d been dating Lisa for longer than I let on, so I thought bringing it up would do more harm than good. I didn’t like the thought of you knowing my marriage with your mother had failed. I didn’t want you to think she died unhappy.”

“She didn’t,” I reassure him. “You were there for her, Dad. We both were.”

He appreciates that I say this, because he knows it’s true.

My mother was happy with her life.

Happy with me.

It makes me wonder if she’d be disappointed now, seeing how things have turned out.

“She would be proud of you, Miles,” he says to me. “With how you’ve handled yourself.”