Two Kinds Of Truth(61)

“I lied to you. I said I had to go away on business, but the truth was…I was meeting Ally. That’s when she dropped the bombshell.”

I stare at him for the longest time. I don’t want to ask the obvious question, but my lips move without my consent.

“What bombshell?” I croak.

Callum gives me a pleading look and presses his hands to the back of his neck. “God, Maddie, I never meant any of this to happen.”

“TELL ME. WHAT BOMBSHELL?”

“That…that…Ally was pregnant with my child when we split up.”

His words hit me so hard it’s as though I’ve taken a physical blow. My eyelids flutter as I take in their full impact, feeling like I’ve just stepped off the waltzers. Everything’s spinning.

“But that’s impossible,” I rasp. “We both know you can’t…”

“Have kids? Yes. That’s true, but the irony is that I caught mumps after she fell pregnant.”

“And before you met me?”

He nods and my knees buckle, but Callum catches hold of me, stopping me from falling.

“I didn’t know what to do,” he tells me, his eyes beseeching. “We’d moved in together by the time the baby arrived and you and I had just found out we couldn’t have a child of our own. How could I admit I’d already fathered a child? Not when I was so aware of the devastating impact it would have on you.”

I’m unable to hide the desperation in my voice. “How long have you been seeing Ally behind my back?”

“Maddie, I—”

“How long, Cal?”

“On and off since she was six months pregnant.”

The muscles in my chest tighten and I swear my heart stops beating for a moment.

“So, you’ve lied to me the whole time we’ve been married?” I say in a small voice.

He nods. “I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt you.”

“And this child…”

“A boy.”

“You have a son?” My chest tightens. “Does he look like you?”

“Please, don’t do this,” Callum begs.

“Does he have your eyes, your hair colour?”

Callum doesn’t reply. He looks down at the ground and remains tight-lipped.

I clutch my stomach and a pitiful cry escapes my lips. “How could you do this to me? And all this time you’ve made me believe you couldn’t have children—we couldn’t have children.” I take a breath. “You said you loved me, and I believed you.”

Callum looks up and his grip tightens.

“I do love you, and it’s been torture for me, too. I wanted to share my happiness, to shout out and tell the world I had a son, but the guilt’s been tearing me apart.”

I seriously can’t believe what I’m hearing. “You mean…you’re actually blaming me for the fact you kept your child a secret?” I stare at the man who has become a stranger to me. “Our whole life together was built on a lie,” and although the words are mine, they seem to have come from someone else.

“Surely, we can work something out,” Callum whispers.

I stare at him as if he’s gone stark raving mad. “You mean carry on as we are? You want Ally and I to share you? Is that it?” Anger is now rising from the pit of my stomach. I clench my fist, draw back my arm and punch Callum straight in the face. Pain shoots down my hand and along to my elbow when my knuckles connect with his jaw. His expression is one of shocked surprise, a trickle of red already oozing from the side of his mouth.

Ally lets out a wail and jumps to his aid. “Get the fuck away from him,” she screams, and dabs his lip with a scrunched-up tissue she hurriedly extracts from her pocket.

Tears pour down my cheeks seeing them together: Callum with his fingers curled around hers, Ally all over him like a rash. It leaves a sour taste in my mouth, and I just shake my head, unable to digest the bond they clearly share, no longer able to bear to breathe the same air.

I turn and run.

All I can think about is Callum’s child, a boy running in the snow, with cute dimpled skin and a bright dazzling smile. A head of rich auburn curls bounces about his head, and when he turns to me, I see a pair of sparkling sea-green eyes. I clutch my chest at the overwhelming image, my pain leaving me breathless.

His child will never be mine.

I head back towards the farmhouse, the snow hitting my face, sharp like slivers of ice, then I’m past the garden house, my feet refusing to stop. I don’t want to go inside, not where the air is warm and the familiar rooms cosy. I no longer feel safe there and so turn on my heels. I need to be alone.

It’s growing dark. There are no birds in the sky, and even the chickens have fallen quiet. All I hear is the crunch of the snow under my boots as I make my way towards the gate that leads to the brae.

One of the farm dogs barks as I lift the latch.

“Maddie? Where are you?” Callum calls through the darkening and white-flecked swirling air, but I ignore him, a notch of fear rising within me at the thought of him chasing after me. I glance down. The frozen earth is white now, my tracks easy for him to follow, but I push on into the faster falling snow, seeing almost nothing before me but streaks of white against the deepening blackness. I’m running now, fast in my flight, until my foot jars and I stumble over a hidden stone. I lose my balance and fall to the ground, a sharp pain shooting through my knee. I peer down to see I’ve grazed it, and I cover my mouth to smother a hiss of pain. Then I force myself back onto my feet, wipe a stream of snowflakes from my eyes and hurry down a path I vaguely recognise. Everything’s covered in a blanket of white and the bitter cold is seeping through to my bones.