Two Kinds Of Truth(20)

“Please, let me try to help,” I beg. “If only ye would confide in me.”

Callum takes a deep breath and I find I’m holding my own. Then he looks me straight in the eye, and I know he’s going to tell me the crux of his despair.

“The truth is,” he says, so quietly I find myself moving closer to hear him, “I can’t give her what she wants,” and he looks down at his beer.

“What do ye mean?”

“A baby; I can’t give Maddie a baby.”

I struggle to find the right words. Callum said they were having problems conceiving, but so do many couples.

“Everyone knows it takes time,” I say, trying to sound supportive. “Sometimes it takes years. Ye just have to keep on trying.”

He looks back at me, a single tear trickling down his cheek.

“You don’t understand. I’ve had tests. They say I’m infertile.”

I’m stunned. Words fail me and I catch my breath, trying to think of something positive to say, but I can’t. I never knew. None of us did.

“I’m so sorry, Cal.” My mind scrambles for something else to say, the words having spilled from my mouth before I had time to think, but Callum gives a bitter laugh.

“I don’t want your sympathy; I just want to get my wife pregnant.”

I try to think on my feet. “What about…adoption? Surely that’s another option?”

Callum shakes his head. “Maddie tried to persuade me. Said if we were able to adopt a baby then we could bring it up as our own.” He places his elbows on the table and inches closer. He reminds me of a spy who’s about to divulge top-secret information.

“But it wouldn’t be mine. Every moment of every day, I’d be reminded that I couldn’t father a child with her.”

“But ye cannae think like that,” I burst out. “If ye do, it’ll ruin yir life.”

Callum lets out a forced laugh and I realise it’s too late, he’s already destroyed inside.

“Wise words,” he states, flatly. “However, the bottom line is that I don’t want a kid that’s not mine.”

“What, not even a sperm donor? I hear they’re very successful. I dinnae know all the facts, but don’t they try to get the best match they can. Use someone who has yir hair and eye colour, even yir build?”

He lifts the pint glass to his lips but stops halfway. “What, like a twin?”

“Ach, away with ye,” and I attempt a smile. “Now, I dinnae say that.”

A shudder sweeps down my spine and alarm bells ring inside my head. I’m aware it’s just the beer talking, but I’m wary all the same. I glance up and Callum’s eyes are suddenly clear. The tears have all gone and his expression has completely changed.

“You could be the one, Jamie. Me and you: we’re the same person, split from the same egg. If you got Maddie pregnant, technically it would be the same as if I’d fathered the child.”

“Stop talking out of yir arse,” I object. “Whatever you’re thinking, it stops right nah. I cannae sleep with yir wife. Are ye mad? And besides, I wouldnae do something like that. It’s wrong and I couldnae live with myself afterwards.”

But Callum isn’t listening.

“Please, Jamie, do this one thing for me, for Maddie. All she wants is a child of her own. If it was you who got her pregnant, it would be as if I had done it. Can’t you see the gift you would give us both.”

I want to help, but what he’s asking is beyond my own ethics, beyond my comprehension.

“Och, maybe ye should talk to Maddie first; see what she thinks.”

Callum shakes his head vigorously.

“No, we can’t tell her. She’d go ballistic. Even if she wanted to go through with it, she’d deny herself because she wouldn’t wish to betray me. She’s an old-fashioned girl with old-fashioned values. Even if she had the chance she wouldn’t take it, because of me.”

I sigh with relief.

“So, she would ne’er agree?”

Callum brings his hand close to his head and clicks his fingers.

“Wait; I have an idea. Didn’t I hear something earlier about a quiz night here on Wednesday night?”

“Aye, ye did.”

“Perfect. Then we’ll bring Maddie along.”

I feel my eyebrows knit together. “I’ve already invited her, but what does that have to do with anything?”

“It’s simple. She wouldn’t sleep with you knowingly, but…if we get her drunk enough, she wouldn’t know the difference and we could swap places for the night.”

I jump to my feet. I’ve heard enough.

“I’ll nae be part of no such thing, do ye hear?” I hiss at my brother. “I’m sorry ye cannae have any kin of yir own, but this is wrong on so many levels.”

I grab my coat from the back of the chair and storm out of the pub. All I can see is a haze of red around my eyes. How could Callum ask me to do such a despicable thing to the woman he loves?

“Jamie, wait,” Callum shouts after me as I head for the car, but I ignore him. I’m angry and hurt that he’d ask me to do something so appalling, so unforgivable, but then heavy footsteps come up behind me and strong hands grip my shoulders.