Turning Point(71)

“Maybe around six or seven,” Andy said in a hoarse voice. Everything was moving so quickly. It was one-fifteen in the morning, so he’d been sick for seven hours. She knew that children his age often died six to twelve hours after the onset of symptoms. It was one of the fastest moving, most lethal illnesses children could get. They were playing “beat the clock,” and Stephanie knew it as tears filled her eyes and she glanced at Andy. They took Ryan away five minutes later to do the spinal tap, and Stephanie asked to go with him, but the pediatrician wouldn’t let her. Parents were not allowed, even if she was a doctor and worked in the ER.

    “He’ll be out from the anesthetic in a few minutes. We’ll get him back to you as soon as we can. I want him in Peds ICU,” he said firmly and she nodded.

“We’ll meet you there.” She squeezed Andy’s hand as they watched Ryan wheeled away on a gurney. He suddenly looked tiny. If he had meningitis, she was afraid Aden would get it, although it wasn’t certain he would. But worst case, they could lose both their children within hours. Mostly it was just terrible luck that Ryan had caught it, and unlikely lightning would strike twice.

“Is he going to be okay?” Andy asked her as they went to the elevator to go upstairs to the ICU.

“I don’t know,” she said honestly. “It’s not good.” She got a text from Gabriel then, wanting to know what was happening, but she didn’t answer. This was her time with Andy and she didn’t want to be distracted by anyone. They paced the halls together while they waited for Ryan, and didn’t speak to each other. There was nothing to say.

“What do we do, Steph, if it is meningitis?” he finally had the courage to ask, and she shook her head.

“Nothing. We wait and we pray. We’re already giving him an antibiotic. They’ll give him steroids after the tap.”

They brought him back forty minutes later, still groggy from the anesthetic. They rolled him into a room and put him on a bed. A nurse took his vital signs, and another one hooked him up to monitors. He was still blazing, and they tried to cool him with damp cloths and added something to his IV to bring the fever down.

    The pediatrician came back to confirm what Stephanie already knew. Ryan had meningitis. It was viral, so he had a better chance of survival, but nothing was sure, especially at his age. He was dozing from the fever and the anesthetic, as Stephanie stood next to him stroking his hair. She couldn’t bear the thought that he might die, but she was praying he’d survive it. He was too little and too sick, and when she looked up, Andy was crying, and she was too.

“How did this happen? He was fine this morning. And now he’s…” Andy choked on the words.

“That’s how this happens, especially in kids his age.”

“Can they do something?”

“Not much,” she said, wiping the tears from her cheeks.

The doctor came and went for the next hour, and they brought in an infectious disease specialist, who spoke to both of them. He basically told them that although viral meningitis was less serious than bacterial, he still might die in the next few hours and they needed to prepare themselves. Andy broke down in sobs, and she held him. They didn’t leave Ryan for the next two hours. Stephanie wanted to be there if he died. She had seen patients die through her work, but this was her baby, her youngest child. It was unthinkable, but it was happening. And then his skin started coming up in boils.

“What is that?”

“It’s from the fever. He’s boiling inside,” she explained.

They stayed there all night. And at eight in the morning he was still alive, but barely. It had been the worst night of her life. She had thought of everything she had done wrong, everything she wished she had done differently, the times she wasn’t with them because she was working, the marriage that had gone so wrong, while Andy got bitter and she got bored and they lost each other somewhere in the process.

    At ten o’clock, Ryan opened his eyes and smiled at them, and looked like an angel. She thought he was dying, but he sighed and went back to sleep and kept breathing. At noon he was still alive.

The fever was down to 102, but he was still fighting for his life. She texted Valérie and told her what had happened and where they were, so she could tell the others. Gabriel was texting her frantically, but she didn’t have the heart to answer him. What if this was her punishment for having the affair with him? It all seemed so stupid and irrelevant now. She thought she loved Gabriel, and she was going to divorce Andy and move to France. But what difference did any of it make if Ryan died? It put everything into perspective.

One of the nurses suggested that they go to the waiting room and lie down for a while. There was no one else there, and they’d been on their feet all night. They hated to leave him even for a minute, but the nurse said she would get them right away if anything happened. They sat down in chairs next to each other and looked like they’d been shipwrecked. He had survived for eighteen hours, which wasn’t enough.

Andy was staring at her as they sat there. “I just want to tell you that whatever happens, I love you, Steph. I know everything has gone to shit with us, and it’s my fault. I got lost somewhere along the way, and jealous of you. You’re a star, Steph. You have a right to everything you’ve earned. And whatever happens with us, I’m going to get a job. We can hire someone to take care of the kids.” His eyes filled with tears as he said it and so did hers. Their marriage was over anyway. “I’ve been a shit husband, trying to hold you back. You have a right to all of it. I don’t know what went wrong for us. I don’t know what happened in Paris, and I don’t want to know. If you want a divorce, you can have it, and I’ll move out. But I don’t want to lose you, I love you and our boys. If you give it another chance after this, I’ll be better, I swear. You’re an amazing woman.” She was sobbing when she went to hug him, and they held each other for a long time, trying to face the reality that their child was dying. Stephanie just prayed that Aden didn’t get it too. They couldn’t lose them both. Or even one of them. She couldn’t bear it. But Aden was fine when she called Mrs. Sanchez to check on him.