Trusting Nicole (The Last Hangman MC #4)(19)

“Don’t take too long.” He looks into my eyes and gives my hip a squeeze before settling down into the couch.

He’s confusing the hell out of me.

I shouldn’t care about him, but I do.

I shouldn’t want him, but I do.

I shouldn’t be attracted to him, but I am.

None of this should be happening, I should stay away from him like Gabe and Aleck said, but I can’t. I care about him too much. I want to make sure he’s okay, that he’s coping, that he’s alive. Truth is, I’m selfish. I just want to spend time with him and want him to want to spend time with me.

I groan in frustration as I change into short sweat shorts and a tank top. I remove my make up and put my hair up. He’s seen me at my worst already, this is nothing new for him.

I walk back downstairs to find that he’s not there, but his jacket is still resting on the back of the couch. I go in search of him and it takes me a few minutes, but I find him sitting on the rooftop platform above the kitchen. I watch him for a minute before climbing out the window and on to the rooftop. He looks relaxed, I’m not sure how long it’s been since he’s been able to fully relax.

“Party for two on the rooftop, underneath the sky?” I startle him and can’t help the laugh that escapes my lips. “Didn’t mean to scare you.”

“It’s alright. I was lost in my thoughts.” He scoots over, making space for me on the makeshift lounge chair Gabe made a while back.

“What were you thinking about and what are you doing up here? How did you know this was here?”

“Your brother mentioned this a couple of times. I wanted to check it out. The view is beautiful and it’s peaceful up here.” He sighs.

“It is, I love it up here. Whenever I want to shut the world out, I come up here.”

“I can see the appeal. I’m just thinking about the past.” He sighs.

“You know I’m here if you need someone to talk to.” I rub his arm.

“I know, Kitten. I’ll open up when you do.” He smirks at me and wraps his arm around my shoulders, pulling me back so we are both lying down.

“I told you already.” I shrug and relax in his arms.

“And I’m not buying any of it.” He smiles at me. His smile. I missed that smile.

“Too bad for you.”

We stay silent for a few minutes, enjoying each other’s presence.

“Did you f*ck anyone tonight?” he asks out of the blue.

“What the f*ck? How f*cking dare you!” I try to pull away but he holds me close to him.

“Just a question, Kitten.”

“No, I didn’t. Not that it’s any of your f*cking business.”

“Good.”

I look at him as if he’s grown a second head. “Why the f*ck did you ask me that?”

“The dress you were wearing, the make-up, the high heels, that’s not you. Even when you dress up it’s never like that. Just making sure you are not doing something you don’t want to.” He looks at me intently.

“I’m not f*cking for money! Are you out of your f*cking mind!?” I push him away and try to get up, but he doesn’t let me go.

“Not so fast.” He turns my head so I’m facing him, our lips way too close to each other’s for comfort. “You’d tell me if you were in trouble, right?”

“Sure.” I reply vaguely.

“Nicole…”

I sigh. “I’m not in any kind of trouble, don’t worry. Not that Gabe would let me get myself into any trouble.”

“True.” He chuckles and looks into my eyes.

“What?” I look at him confused.

“I’ve missed you,” he whispers, leaning in and closing the gap that was separating our lips. At first, it’s a very soft, feather light kiss, but soon he deepens it. Sucking and nibbling on my lower lip he renders me a brainless mess who knows they should stop this, but a) doesn’t want to, and b) I’ve missed this and him too. All too soon he breaks the kiss and we pull apart, both out of breath.

“I’ve missed you too, but we shouldn’t be doing this,” I whisper, not trusting my own voice.

“I know.” He sighs and rubs his face. “I just can’t help it, I’m a different man when I’m around you, Kitten.”

“Not sure how I should take that.” I chuckle.

“Good, you make me feel good and alive. I hate that I feel this way when it hasn’t been long, but I just can’t stay away from you.”

“But you should.”

“Why?” He looks at me hurt and confused.

“Because it’s wrong, it’s too soon and my brothers are going to f*cking kill you.”

“Will you stop swearing? And let me deal with your brothers.”

“Never and I don’t even want to imagine what they’d do to you. They already told me to stay away from you.”

“Why are you listening to them?”

“I’m not, clearly, since I’m here with you f*cking making out. I can’t stay away from you either, Jase. The thing is, we’ll never make each other happy. I know it and you know it. We’re both from different sides of the tracks. You’re the law and I’m part of the outlaw. It’s like Romeo and Juliet, we can’t be together or it’s going to end in a tragedy. You f*cking know it.” I get up and pace the platform. I meant what I said but f*ck, it hurts. Jase and I have a past, it’s been complicated since day one and it’s not getting any easier.