Toxic (Ruin, #2)(56)

“Well, well, well.” Wes clapped. “The student becomes the teacher.”
“Bye, Sensei.” The door clicked behind me to Wes’s laughter. I had trouble fighting my own smile as I put on my baseball hat and walked down the hall.
So far, nobody had said much to me. Besides, who actually suspects that they’ve been living next door to a long lost celebrity for four years?
As unbelievable as it sounds, when you live in the real world, outside of Cali or New York, people don’t give a shit. In LA people are constantly looking for famous people, hoping to catch one as if we’re animals you have to trap or something.
But put me in Boise, Idaho? Seattle, Washington? They don’t expect it, so they just see a guy tatted up.
That being said, though, it had only been four years, so I kept the hat low, I didn’t want anything ruining this night with Saylor.
I’d never pursued a girl before.
With Princess it had just happened.
And as for the rest of the girls I slept with — it was the only way to promise myself that Ashton Hyde was gone. He would have never done that. After all, Princess was the second girl I’d ever slept with, and I’d believed I was going to marry her. I’d thought she was it.
Recreating yourself via turning into a monster? Not the smartest idea I’d ever had — especially considering putting my whole body at risk.
Shit. I’d even messed up my own suicide.
I was too na?ve to even know what the hell I was doing.
I‘d cut my wrists the wrong way and hadn’t bled out.
My first tattoos covered my scars — as best they could.
Self-consciously I rubbed the scar on my right wrist as the elevator doors closed in front of me.
Five minutes.
Around seventy-two steps later… I was in front of Saylor’s door.
It was just a door.
But beyond that door?
Was not just a girl.
Inhaling, so I didn’t forget to breathe and pass out, I knocked twice and waited.
The door swung open.
Saylor was wearing a short black dress with gold high heels. Her hair was pulled back in a low messy bun and her lipstick was red.
Red.
Red.
Red.
For some reason, repeating it in my head just made me all the more aroused over the fact that those perfect lips, her perfect mouth, was red, and it was going to be pressed right against mine.
That is if she didn’t impale me with something first — we did have a tendency to fight a bit.
“You look…” I licked my lips and let my eyes roam over her body for a second time. “Stunning.”
Her mouth widened into a smile.
Holy shit.
I coughed and looked away. Freaking gorgeous was more like it.
“Thank you.” She stepped toward me, making me naturally step backward and nearly collide with someone else walking down the hall.
The girl almost face-planted on the wall then flipped me off.
“Sorry,” I croaked.
Saylor smirked and locked the door to her room. “So, where are we going?”
“Ah.” I grabbed her hand. “So the lady’s curious.”
“The lady’s intrigued.”
“Intrigued?” I stopped walking. “Not excited?”
Her poker face told me nothing.
I traced my finger along her smooth jaw line and then reached for the back of her head, pulling her into my space as I blew a kiss across her lips. “And now? Now are you excited?”
“You’re getting warmer,” she whispered.
I sucked on her bottom lip then let my mouth hover over hers as I answered, “I want you to be on fire. Not just warm, but blazing. Not intrigued, but impressed. Not just excited. I want you enthralled. And at the end of the night, what I really want…” I closed my eyes so I wouldn’t kiss her again. “…is for those tears to be washed away from your memory for good.”
“Why’s that?” Her body arched toward me.
“I want old memories gone… bad ones. So I can create new ones. Ones so powerful that the old ones don’t even stand a chance.”
“So what are we waiting for?”
Smiling, I stepped back and reached for her hand. “Good point.”



Chapter Forty-Two
He seemed normal but I had so many open-ended questions with absolutely no clue how to get the answers. I was torn between wanting to just have a normal date — and a desire to shake him until all the answers fell from his lips. Even if it hurt to hear, I had to know. —Saylor
Saylor
I let him kiss me.
Oh, who was I kidding? Not kissing him would have been a crime against my own body. I liked him. I more than liked him, and not kissing him just because I was still a bit hurt, upset? That was a total girl move. And I hated girls like that. The whiny types that withheld all things physical until they got their way. Yeah, it also meant that at the end of the day I might need a pint of chocolate ice cream from all the emotional damage done to me, but hey, at least I had one kiss.
I wasn’t sure when I’d started looking at it like that.
Maybe it was when he sang his song yesterday afternoon.
Or maybe it was when my mom started talking about endings and beginnings.
I was in charge of mine — my end or my beginning. I could end things with him now and hate myself for the rest of my life. Or I could choose to do the scary thing and jump off that cliff right along with him.
I chose the cliff.
And the minute I leapt — I knew it was right.
That’s how risk works. You don’t know it’s the right choice until you’re freefalling, and even then you still have butterflies — but at least you were the one to take that step over the ledge.