Touch Me Not (Manwhore, #1)(58)

It took every ounce of strength she had for Lily not to jump up, run into the other room, and huddle in the corner, screaming. Her panic was so severe, she felt her throat closing up on her and she started to shake. Just the thought of what Nikoli was going to do terrified her. Right now panic was all she felt.

“Look at me, Lily.”

Lily pulled her head up and met Nikoli’s gaze. His face was only a few inches from hers. His black eyes were calm, warm. She gave him a hesitant smile, doing her best to make herself relax.

“Have I ever hurt you?” he asked softly.

“No.”

“Do you think I ever would?”

“No.”

“Then stop thinking so hard,” he said, a small laugh escaping. “Just look at me and breathe, Milaya, just breathe.”

Lily did what he asked her to do. She thought about the last two months, about all the time she’d spent with him. She thought about the way he made her feel when he kissed her, when he made her laugh, when he held her, and how safe she felt. The more she thought about him, the more her body relaxed and the more her mind began to panic. Looking into his patient, dark eyes, Lily realized a hard truth she’d been hiding from.

She loved him.

Not just loved him. She was in love with him.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, his voice concerned. “You just tensed back up, Milaya. Tell me what’s wrong.”

Wrong? Everything was wrong. Her panic shifted from his touching her legs to touching her heart. She felt like her entire world had just bottomed out. How had this happened? When had this happened? She couldn’t be in love with Nikoli Kincaid.

“Easy, baby, everything is okay. Just take slow, deep breaths and calm down.”

Calm down? How was she supposed to calm down when she was in love with the manwhore? Dear God, how did she let herself fall for him? She knew better. Sure, he might have called her his girlfriend for the sake of the bet, but he didn’t want one. He was helping her get over her fears, yes, but he had an ulterior motive. He wanted in her panties. Simple as that. He didn’t love her. She couldn’t ever let him know how she felt.

“Lily?”

“Give me a minute,” she told him, her voice a little sharper than she’d meant for it to be.

“I got all night, Lily Bells. You take as much time as you need.”

Damn him. Why couldn’t he still be the manwhore to her? Why did he have to be sweet, and kind, and considerate?

He started rubbing his fingers back and forth over her thighs, and she closed her eyes. The panic tried to come back, but her fear of his breaking her heart drowned that out enough for the sensations of his fingers to break through, and it felt…good. Oh hell, it felt really good. She was in so much trouble.

“Do you have to do that?” she asked, trying once again to pull his hands up.

“Yes, I do,” he said, the laughter evident in his tone. “Besides, you like this.”

His hands slid higher, slipping under the hemline of her skirt and pushing it farther up, his fingers continuing to massage the flesh he exposed. Holy hell. It was all she could do to stop a moan from slipping past her lips. She wanted to squeeze her thighs together to relieve the pressure that was starting to build.

“Easy, baby,” he murmured. “I got you. It’s okay. You’re safe with me.”

Lily did moan when his wandering fingers traveled up, her dress inching up her hips. Her hands fell away as he caressed her hips, moved around to cup her ass, and squeezed gently. She felt every caress travel from his fingers in a little path of lightning all the way to her core. She did squeeze her legs together then, and he let out another low chuckle that sent a shiver through her.

His hand drifted up her back to where the zipper rested. She felt him tug on it, heard it as he slowly pulled it down, felt the cool air against her back as it was exposed. He laid his hand flat against her back and looked up, his eyes meeting hers.

“We need to set a safe word for you, Lily, something you’ll be able to remember no matter what happens here. Think, baby, what word will you remember?”

The first word that came to mind was Laney, but that didn’t seem appropriate. They had both loved one thing, and it was something she was sure she could remember.

“Butterfly.”

Nikolas regarded her curiously. “That is the first girly thing I’ve ever really heard you mention.”

“I am a girl.” The sarcasm wasn’t lost on him. She shifted and he hissed. Her eyes widened when she felt him through the sheer lace of her panties. Flutters started in her stomach, but that sense of everything closing in on her came back. She closed her eyes and breathed slowly in and out.

“Are you good?” he asked.

“I…I don’t know,” she answered honestly.

“If it gets to be too much, Milaya, just say your safe word and I’ll stop. Promise.”

She nodded. Nikoli had never lied to her. He would stop if she asked him to. The real question was, would she ask him to?

“Good girl.” He smiled and moved his other hand to small of her back. Then he moved both hands up and around her shoulders. Lily’s fear was fast receding, replaced by a completely new fear. The fear she wouldn’t say stop. His fingers felt like a trail of fire as they danced their way up her neck, to bury themselves in her hair. He pulled her toward him, his lips settling over hers. Nikoli wasn’t gentle with his kiss. It was hard and demanding. Lily shuddered, her arms coming up to cradle his neck, her fingers tugging at his hair. She felt his groan go through her, causing another full body shudder.