Time (Laws of Physics #3)(41)

“It absolutely does not.” She huffed, but her voice held a smile.

“No, Mona. I’m not a menu. You don’t get to order what you want.” Jeez. All these food references. I wonder if room service is still open.

“That’s not—”

“It is. It absolutely is.”

Mona made a strangled sound. “How can you be so laissez-faire about this? If we tell each other what we like now, and how we like it, we can skip over all the awkwardness and just get straight to the great parts. It would be very efficient!”

I bit back a laugh because she reminded me of Mary Poppins when she said, very efficient! Like efficiency was superior to seduction.

“Have things been awkward?” I asked. “You don’t like what we’ve done so far?”

“You know what I mean.” Her voice was quieter.

“I don’t, honestly. And if we skip over all the awkwardness, we’ll never discover anything new—about you, about me—and the discovery is the fun. Yes, maybe we’ll have some bad sex, but nothing—nothing—is ever perfect, and that should be okay. I don’t want you to be perfect, to get things right all the time. How boring would that be?”

She didn’t respond, but I could almost hear her thinking, debating with herself.

So I added, “Think of it this way, if I only did what you think you like, then you’d never be pushed out of your comfort zone.”

“Why do I need to be pushed out my comfort zone?”

“Because it’s exciting.”

She grunted. “It sounds unnerving.”

“It might be. But it might blow your mind. Give us a chance to find out. Give us a chance to win big, and also fail spectacularly. And if we fail, know and trust that it’s no big deal. We can always try again, and again. And again.”

Mona was quiet for a moment, and when she spoke next her voice was more serious. “You know what? Fine. Okay. I see your point and it’s valid. The idea of trying new things with each other, discovering each other sounds really, really good. But, two things.”

“Okay.”

“You should know, I have an IUD to prevent pregnancy, but I’ve never had sex without a condom. Even so, I’ve been tested for STDs and I’m negative, for all of them. How about you?”

Her candor, honestly, turned me on. I loved this about her, how direct she was about things that mattered. So fucking sexy.

But being turned on and tired meant I had to really concentrate on what I wanted to say. “Uh, so me: I’ve had sex without a condom, once, and regretted it. She didn’t get pregnant and she didn’t have any STDs, but I never did it again.”

“Did you get tested after?”

“For STDs? Yes. I have none.”

“But were you tested for HPV?”

“I was vaccinated when I was a teenager, so I don’t think they tested me for that.” All this clinical talk of STDs and HPV actually did help with my concentration.

“Okay. Good. Next question. When we have sex, will we use a condom?”

And, just like that, all the blood rushed south again. I’d never thought of myself as someone with an active imagination until Mona and Aspen. But every time she brought up sex between us, as though it was a forgone conclusion, I saw it. Vivid flashes of imagery, sights, smells, sounds. It was like describing a ten-course meal to a starving man. I could almost taste it, taste her.

I had to clear my throat before speaking. “Mona, if you want to use a condom, then we shou—”

“I don’t. I don’t want to.”

Shit. Shit, shit, shit.

A spike of unadulterated longing shot down my spine. I had to press my hand against my dick. I hurt. Now I needed a cold shower. All this talking about it with her on the other side of the world was hugely, hugely frustrating.

She continued, “But if you want to, then you have veto rights. I guess what I’m saying is, we both have veto rights.”

“Yes. Makes sense. Can I think? I’ll let you know later?” A subject change was desperately needed if I was going to sleep at all tonight.

“Yes, yes. Absolutely. One more thing, before we move on from our planned sexual activities.”

Fuck, fuck, fuck! I bit back a groan. She was killing me. Killing me dead.

But then she said, “I have hard rules, lines you can’t cross. And I think, when you’re not so tired, we should definitely talk about those.”

Coming out of the lust fog, I said, “Yes. Perfect.” This was definitely a sobering topic. “Tell me those. We can talk about it now if you want.”

“We can talk later, but I just want to be really clear.” I heard her take a few deep breaths, like she was working up to something. “Abram, pushing me about these lines will not be appreciated.”

She couldn’t see me, but I was shaking my head. “I absolutely do not want you to do anything that crosses your lines. I will never, ever push you on your lines. I consider them sacred. I respect you, deeply, and agree that discussion of boundaries is unquestionably important. And I’ll tell you mine.”

She released a relieved-sounding breath. “Good.”

“But! Keep your favorites a secret, until I discover them. Then and only then, order from me like I’m a menu.”