Thoughtful (Thoughtless, #1.5)(27)

“Now he’s leaving.”

“Yeah.”

I could feel her eyes studying me while I studied the road. I tried to imagine what that would feel like, waiting so long to be with someone, and then having it snatched away the moment you had it.

“What are you thinking about?” Kiera murmured that in a faraway voice, almost like she wasn’t talking to me.

“Nothing…” I looked over at her and her eyes were wide, like she hadn’t realized she’d asked me a question. I ignored her startled expression as I thought over what I’d been wishing for. “I was just hoping things work out for you guys. You’re both…” Incredible people, an inspiration, my hope for the future…important to me.

Silence settled over the car again, but it was grateful silence this time. I was glad that Kiera had opened up to me, and happy that her problem seemed short-term.

When we got to the house, Denny’s car was in the drive. Kiera inhaled a deep breath at seeing it. She was smiling though, like she was happy he was home. I hoped she always felt that way. Turning to me, she said, “Thank you…for everything.”

I had a sudden desire for her to kiss my cheek again, and I looked down. If I were more like her, that thought would have had me blushing. “Not a problem, Kiera.”

We got out of the car and made our way into the house. Kiera paused at her bedroom door, and I paused at mine. I watched her staring at the closed wood, her hand clenching the metal knob instead of turning it. She seemed nervous, like she was afraid of what lay on the other side.

“It will be fine, Kiera,” I whispered into the darkness. She looked back at me, warmth and gratitude in her eyes.

“Good night,” she told me, her eyes never leaving mine. Then she steeled herself and opened the door into her bedroom with Denny.

Alone in the hallway, I stared at their closed door for several minutes. The remembered feel of Kiera in my arms returned to me, the smell of her hair, the warmth in her eyes, the comfort of her body pressed against mine. For a split second I wondered what it would be like if Denny left and never came back. Would Kiera see me as anything other than a playboy rock star if we were alone in the house? Would I want her to see me as more?

Shaking my head, I opened my bedroom door and walked inside. It didn’t matter if she would have developed an interest in me or not. That wasn’t what was happening here. Denny wasn’t leaving her, he was just going away for a couple of months. No big deal. They were fine, absolutely fine, and for some weird reason, that thought made me a little sad.



Denny and Kiera were attached at the hip while they counted down the minutes until he left, but I managed to get Denny alone. “Hey, can I talk to you?”

“Of course. What is it?”

I had no idea how to say what I wanted to say without sounding rude…so I just said it. “I saw how upset Kiera was when you told her you were leaving. Are you sure about this?”

Denny frowned, like he thought I’d overstepped my bounds. Maybe I had. “It’s just a few months.” His expression shifted to excitement. “You don’t understand what this could mean for me, Kellan. This could be the beginning of something great.”

I held my tongue, but all I could think was It could also be the end of something even better.

On the day Denny had to leave, I offered to drive him to the airport, since I didn’t know what else I could do. Kiera’s eyes were only on Denny as we made our way to Sea-Tac. Denny’s eyes, however, were locked on me the entire drive there.

Inside the airport, I gave my two friends some space to say their goodbyes. It was an emotional moment, and I found it hard to watch Kiera’s obvious struggle. Her devotion…I’d never seen anyone care that much. Certainly no one had ever cared that much about me.

They broke apart after a passionate kiss. Denny said something that had to be goodbye, kissed her cheek, and then made his way over to me. He smiled as I said goodbye, then he glanced back at Kiera. When he returned his attention to me, his face was completely different. Hard, almost. Leaning in, he whispered, “I need your word that you won’t touch her while I’m gone. That you’ll look out for her, but you’ll stay as far away as possible. You understand what I’m saying?” He pulled back, his expression deadly serious.

Shocked, I flicked a quick glance at Kiera watching us. Was he seriously warning me not to sleep with his girlfriend? Did he really think I would? Yes, I liked Kiera…I cared about her a lot, actually…but she was his, and I respected that. I respected him. I would never…

Denny stuck his hand out. I nodded once, dumbfounded, then reached out and clenched his hand. Somehow shaking hands felt more like we were making a pact than saying our goodbyes. “I won’t…I would never do anything to hurt you like that, Denny.”

Denny gave me a brief smile in response to my oath, then turned and blew Kiera a kiss before he headed to security. It took me a minute to process everything that had just happened. I always thought Denny saw the best in me…but he must not trust me as much as I thought if he believed I’d do something like that while he was gone. Even Evan thought he had to warn me…Was that the person people saw when they looked at me? Was that who I was?

Kiera was staring at the space Denny had just left, and tears were starting to form in her eyes. I figured she was about fifteen seconds away from a meltdown, and I also figured she didn’t want to do that in the middle of the airport, so I quickly ushered her back to the car.