Thoughtful (Thoughtless, #1.5)(166)

I tuned Denny out. It didn’t matter what he did to me. I wanted to memorize every line on Kiera’s face, every expression in her color-shifting eyes. If tonight was my last night on earth, I wanted to spend it staring at her. It’s okay, Denny. Do what you will…I’m ready.

Kiera’s gaze shifted from me to Denny, then back to me. She looked terrified. I wanted to tell her everything was okay, I was at peace, but she moved before I could focus long enough to say the words. My mind couldn’t keep up with what she was doing. She screamed, “No!” then tackled me. I looked up at Denny just in time to see his boot connect with Kiera’s temple.

No! It was supposed to be me…

“Kiera!” My mouth felt full of marbles, and my vision hazed in and out, but that was nothing compared to the sight of Kiera slumped on the ground beside me, motionless.

The blow she’d taken in my place had flung her away from me, and her hair was covering her face. I had no idea if she was okay or not. Adrenaline gave me strength, and I scrambled to get closer to her. Please be okay. I was scared to touch her, scared to move her. What was the rule about head injuries? I had no f*cking clue.

By the time I had pulled myself around to where I could look at her more closely, Denny was on his knees at her side. “Kiera?” he said, shaking her shoulders.

“Don’t,” I muttered, “you could make it worse.”

He looked up at me, his eyes wide. “Is she okay? Please tell me she’s okay. Jesus, she’s bleeding…there’s so much blood. Kellan, is she okay? Did I…? What did I do to her?”

By the paleness of his cheeks and the frantic look in his eye, I knew he was losing it. Ignoring him, I focused on Kiera. “Baby?” I whispered, moving her hair away from her eyes so I could see her. “Tell me you’re okay…please.” She still didn’t respond, and I could see that Denny was right about the blood. The ground beneath her head was so sickly red it looked black. Fuck. Cringing in pain, I held my cheek next to her mouth. Let me feel a breath…don’t let her be dead. I can’t handle a world where she’s dead. It was supposed to be me. Why did she do that?

I felt like I waited an eternity to feel…something…and when I finally did, I exhaled in relief. “She’s breathing,” I told Denny. “It’s faint, but it’s there.”

“We have to call for help. She needs a doctor, a hospital…we need to call an ambulance.” He ran his hands back through his hair. His knuckles were torn and bloody from repeatedly hitting my face.

I knew time was of the essence, but I also knew that Denny would be in serious shit for this…especially if she died. Fuck, please don’t let her die. “You need to leave. Now,” I told him. Caring more about stopping the bleeding than any potential damage I could do to her head, I pulled Kiera into my lap the best I could with one good arm, and then held the bottom part of my shirt against the sticky section of her skull. My shirt instantly darkened.

Denny’s eyes went wide as he watched me. “No…I’m staying with her.” There was a trace amount of jealousy in his voice, but we didn’t have time for that right now. This wasn’t about us at the moment.

Irritated and scared, I snapped out, “Aren’t you supposed to be a genius or something? Your stupid ass will go to jail if you stay here. Do you f*cking understand me? You beat the living shit out of me, and…your girlfriend is…”

I couldn’t finish, and Denny didn’t let me. “I’m not leaving her side.”

Seeing the blood stain growing on my shirt, I yelled, “Yes, you f*cking are! You will get hauled off and locked away, and your career will be over! Is that what you f*cking want? Is that what you think Kiera would f*cking want?” I spat a wad of blood from my mouth to emphasize my point. “Now quit arguing with me and get the f*ck out of here!”

Denny seemed to notice for the first time that he’d beaten me to a bloody pulp. He stared at me, then looked at his hands. “Jesus…what did I do…?”

I let out a calming breath. I needed to keep my cool if I was going to get him to leave. “You didn’t do anything. You weren’t even here. You understand me?” I raised my eyebrows. It hurt. Everything hurt. Carefully reaching into my back pocket with my good hand, I grabbed my wallet and tossed it at Denny. He seemed confused by that, so I quickly explained as I returned my hand to Kiera’s makeshift compress. “Run. I’ll tell them we got mugged and things turned nasty. I’ll tell them Kiera tried to protect me…and…and she…” I sighed, then implored, “Get out of here, Denny, before it’s too late!”

His gaze never leaving Kiera, Denny slowly stood up. “You’ll get her help…you’ll stay with her?”

I nodded, then indicated the road. “Yes. Now, please…leave…before someone comes out here.”

Denny looked back at me. He seemed torn, like he wanted to go, but he also wanted to stay and confess. Fuck that. I wasn’t letting him throw his life away because I had pushed him to the breaking point. This was my fault, not his. “Kiera would want you to go,” I said, my voice firm. “She wouldn’t want you punished for this. Not like that.” My voice softened. “We punished you enough.”

Denny glanced back down at Kiera on my lap, then nodded. Tears running down his cheeks, he looked up at me and whispered, “I’m sorry. Tell her I’m sorry.” With one final pained expression, he ran off.