Thoughtful (Thoughtless, #1.5)(107)

She figured it out two seconds later when Denny approached her from behind. She spun to face him and I held my breath. This was it, the moment of truth. She was either going to fess up to him right now and tell him she had feelings for me, or she was going to brush aside what had happened between us. Again. And I would know, without a doubt, that I really didn’t mean as much to her as she meant to me.

I was almost too scared to watch what she would do, but I couldn’t turn away either. Please tell him you want me. Please come find me. Please choose me, Kiera. Please. Mere seconds passed before she acted, but within those seconds, a lifetime of hope blossomed within me. I’d gotten through to her. She was going to do it.

The brief hope evaporated the moment her hands grabbed Denny’s face and pulled his lips down to hers. I felt like I’d been socked in the gut with a concrete two-by-four. Multiple times. I couldn’t breathe as I watched her attack him. He seemed startled by her assault at first, but he eagerly returned her affections once he recovered. I didn’t blame him. She was kissing him with no reservations, no inhibitions, just pure, undiluted desire. It was the same way she’d been kissing me just a few minutes ago. How could she do that to me? How could she switch gears so fast? Or had she? Was she still kissing me right now, in her head? Had I just turned her on, then handed her to my best friend? Oh…God…

Much to my continued horror, they broke apart for a split second, but only so she could lean up and whisper something into his ear. Whatever it was, by the look on Denny’s face, it was something he wanted. He wrapped his arm around her waist, flashed his eyes around the club, then started leading her through the crowds. Fuck, were they leaving? Did she ask him to take her home? To…to…

I couldn’t even finish that thought.

As she stepped away from me, I stepped toward her. No. No, this wasn’t what was supposed to happen. We’d had such a profound connection on that dance floor. She was supposed to have an epiphany, realize how much she loved me, leave him…and go home with me. She was supposed to choose me. Why did she never choose me?

They were hurrying out of my sight. Panic made me continue to weave through the crowd, following them. They couldn’t go home together. They couldn’t…not while she was so riled up. Over me. I’d turned her on to the point where she was bursting. She’d nearly stripped me on the dance floor, she’d wanted me so much. That had to mean something. But she was still leaving with him. Why the hell was she still leaving with him? I wanted to shout her name, tell her to come back, but I was just too afraid to open my mouth. I might be sick if I did.

“Kellan, there you are!”

Hands clamped around my arm, holding me in place in the sea of reveling dancers. I looked down at Anna beside me. She was giving me an expression I knew very well—Take me somewhere, anywhere, and I’ll do things to you that you didn’t even know were possible. But Anna wasn’t the one I wanted exploring my body, my soul, and I just didn’t have it in me to return her seductive gaze.

Keeping my face blank, I leaned down to her ear. “I want to leave. You ready?”

Her eyes blazed with interest as she nodded. She probably took my question as an invitation, but it wasn’t. I just couldn’t stay in this thumping, pounding, sweaty mess of people anymore. I needed space; I needed to sit somewhere and quietly fall apart.

“Should we tell Denny and Kiera goodbye?” she asked above the music.

I shook my head, to answer her and to clear the horrid visual of Kiera kissing Denny from my mind. “They just left.”

“Without saying goodbye to me? Interesting.” Anna gave me a knowing smirk, like she knew exactly why her sister had taken off without even finding her first. Her smile made me even more nauseous.

Needing out of that damn club, I grabbed her hand and pulled her through the throngs of people. I purposely avoided following the same path Denny and Kiera had used. I just couldn’t take it. When we got outside, I inhaled deep breaths. It didn’t help clear my head much. I still felt really sick, and there was an ache in my chest that wouldn’t go away. I felt like I was slowly losing my mind.

From beside me, Anna giggled. I looked over at her, wondering if she could sense the despair emanating from me. She didn’t seem to. Her emerald eyes were fixated on my chest; my shirt was still almost completely unbuttoned. A chill went through me that had nothing to do with the icy wind on my skin. “You get hot in there?” she asked with a playful smile.

Dropping her hand, I hastily redid the buttons. I didn’t want to be reminded of Kiera’s fingers on my body. Or on Denny’s body, which was probably where they were right now. God, I was going to throw up.

“Something like that,” I told her as I hurried toward my car; Anna had to run to catch up to me. I noticed the absence of Denny’s car, and I had to hold my hand against my stomach so I didn’t lose it all over the concrete.

Anna was panting a little when she stepped up to the passenger’s side of my Chevelle. “Where’d you go anyway? When I got back from the bathrooms, you were just…gone.”

I glanced at her over the top of the car and she shrugged. The image of rubbing up against Kiera’s back leaped uninvited into my head, quickly followed by the image of her mouth all over Denny’s. “Needed a drink,” I muttered, opening the car door.

Anna’s brow furrowed as I darted inside the safety of my vehicle. I did not want to think about what happened tonight. I did not want to think about what was happening right now. I did not want to think. Period. Anna got into the car while I debated what to do, where to go. We definitely couldn’t go home. I didn’t think I’d ever be able to go back home. Anna looked at where Denny’s car had been parked earlier. She opened her mouth like she was going to make a comment. Knowing it would be something suggestive about Kiera and Denny, I beat her to the punch.