These Twisted Bonds (These Hollow Vows, #2)(37)

It’s hard to judge him for his choices when they’re the reason I still breathe, and yet . . .

Misha takes my hand and lifts it to his lips. He presses a soft kiss there, just as he did when he brought me to my room last night. “Whether you know it or not, you are a gift to that court. Stop thinking of yourself as a curse.”



Over the next two weeks I fall into an easy routine in the Wild Fae territory. In the mornings I help in the schoolhouse at the Unseelie settlement, sometimes lending a hand at the infirmary before I ride back up the mountain. In the evenings I have dinner with Misha and Amira—sometimes both, sometimes one or the other. The time in between, I spend exploring the castle grounds, riding Two Star, or holed up in the library, reading. Unable to contend with the emotions that flood into me when I don’t shield against Sebastian, I work diligently to block him and try to ignore the loneliness that haunts me when I’m successful.

Misha says I’m improving faster than he expected, and I can even block him out much of the time now.

I sleep more than I ever have in my life—twelve or more hours at night and often a nap in the afternoon. Misha says it’s because I’m still recovering from the metamorphosis, and it will get better with time. But I don’t mind the sleep. Unconsciousness is a refuge from my thoughts. Sometimes Lark visits my dreams. She looks at me with those shining silver eyes and tells me to hurry home. At least I think it’s her. Maybe it’s just my subconscious showing me something that feels comforting. And when Sebastian or Finn appear in my dreams, I shove them right back out.

The library has become my favorite place in Castle Craige. The room is circular, with twenty-foot-tall walls lined with books and a glass ceiling that floods the space with natural light. In the center of the circle of shelves are various work and lounging areas. Tables with plenty of room to work, sofas with ottomans, chairs arranged in cozy groupings facing each other. I like to sit in here at night best of all—there’s something peaceful about lounging with an open book on my chest as I gaze up at the stars—but this morning I’m enjoying the warmth of the sunlight pouring in.

“How’d I know I’d find you in here?” Misha asks, strolling in through the arched doorway from the hall.

“Because this is where I spend most of my waking hours.”

“Right. That.” Grinning, he settles into the chair across from me. “How are you feeling?”

I shrug. Mentally and physically I’m better every day, but I can’t say my heart has recovered from all I went through this summer. I miss my sister, I miss Sebastian, and even though Misha and Amira have proven to be excellent companions, I’m lonely. “I’m . . . fine.”

Misha’s face twists in sympathy. Whether through my thoughts or deduction, he knows that’s a lie.

“It’s only been a couple of weeks. Even a faerie’s heart needs time to heal.”

I blow out a breath and change the subject. “How are you?”

“I’m fine. I have news.” He retrieves a letter from his pocket and passes it to me. “My goblin was able to deliver your letter to your sister, and she sent this back. He said she seems well. Spends her days making dresses and her evenings watching a child. She appears happy and healthy.”

My heart aches as I finger the envelope’s soft pink seal. I miss her so much, but I couldn’t bring myself to tell her about my transformation. I kept the update on myself simple. I missed her and hoped to visit one day—all true—and focused mainly on questions about her welfare. I long to open her response now and see her words in her own writing, but I’ll wait until I’m alone.

“I have other news as well,” Misha says. “My sister has sent word that she, Finn, and his people have arrived in my lands. They’re headed to the palace and should be here by tomorrow morning.”

I stiffen at the mention of the people I once considered my friends. So much for my safe place to hide. “What brings them here? I thought Finn had forces in the mountains and people all over the Unseelie Court who’d give him refuge.”

Misha nods. “He does. That’s not why they’re coming. We need to make plans for the queen’s first attack.”

“You’re sure it’s coming?”

“Her guard has been spotted moving east through the Goblin Mountains.”

“So Finn is coming to request your help? And . . . you’ll give it?”

Misha’s brows shoot up. “Have I given you any reason to think I’d be willing to let that monster have any more control than she already does?”

“No, but—”

“Even if I didn’t care about the atrocities she’s committed in her short life, I have my own people to think of. The queen will no longer settle for extending her territory to the other side of the Goblin Mountains. Now she wants the entire Unseelie Court as part of her own, and if that happens, my own lands will be next. It’s my duty as a king to protect the Wild Fae, but it’s my duty as a faerie to do everything I can to stop the queen from getting even one more ounce of control. And I plan to, Abriella, with or without your help and with or without the Unseelie Court’s alliance.”

I frown. “I thought you already had an alliance with Finn.”

Misha arches a dark brow. “With Finn, yes, but as we’ve established, Finn is no more in control of that court than Mordeus is from his grave.”