These Twisted Bonds (These Hollow Vows, #2)(113)

She nods once, with a finality that makes me feel as if some major part of my fate has been decided. “You are not ready to rule.”

I nearly cry out in frustration but bite my lip. “I will do what I must to save the court.”

“But you will fail if you don’t accept the darkness in you. Why do you refuse it?”

“Refuse what?”

“Your shadow self.”

My breath catches. My shadow self. Images flash through my mind. The mutilated corpses of the orc guards around the fire. The bloody knife glistening in the flames. The locks of Juliana’s hair on my nightstand.

“It’s a weapon that lies in wait, and you refuse to wield it. Loving Abriella. Devoted Abriella.

Caring, dutiful Abriella. There’s another side of you too. Your shadow side. And she has power. All you have to do is be willing to accept the parts of you that you pretend aren’t there. Accept the darkness, and she will wake, and she will serve you. ”

“I don’t need her.”

“Yes, you do.” Mab smiles. “She holds the parts of you that are wicked. That are jealous and angry. The selfish parts that will take what you want for once.” She cocks her head and narrows her eyes as if she can see right through me. Her lips twist, and I can’t tell whether she’s amused or disgusted. “Just remember, if you think to sacrifice Prince Ronan so that you may be bonded with your tethered match, you’ll need to find another way to balance the power between the courts. Kill the queen, or watch her destroy the shadow court.”

“I won’t sacrifice him.” I shake my head. “I’m not that selfish.”

“I know,” she says, her voice turning melodious. “And so does the queen. That’s why you need your shadow self. Because she isn’t so tenderhearted. She isn’t afraid to use the tools at her disposal.”

“What tools?”

“Finnian, son of Oberon, is more powerful than his father and his father before him. You can use that power. With access to his magic, you’ll never be powerless.”

“And risk his life?”

“Loving Abriella. Devoted Abriella. Caring, dutiful Abriella,” she repeats, and there’s no missing the mocking lilt to the words. “Your court needs wicked Abriella, maleficent Abriella.”

“You have me confused with my sister. I am not goodness personified.”

“Of course not,” she says.

Just as suddenly as he disappeared, Finn reappears by my side. Gone from his expression is the reverence for this ancient ruler, and in its place is a barely restrained glare that says he has no tolerance for being separated from me.

“Go now,” she says. “The monsters have come out to play, and they would like nothing more than to destroy your portal before you can reach it.”

Horror snakes through me at the thought of being trapped here. “Can’t you protect it?”

“The portal straddles the planes, and I cannot touch anything beyond the Underworld. Go!” She disappears, and the walls of the otherworldly throne room fall away. Finn takes my hand, and we turn back the way we came. I don’t know how fast we need to move, but it took us what felt like hours to reach this spot.

Finn nudges me forward. “Run,” he says.

I obey, turning my feet under me as fast as I can, feeling him just behind me with every step. The Underworld plays its games with us as we tear our way back to the portal. Mountains rise and fall on either side of us and shift beneath our feet. Oceans form from the depths, and waves surge up our legs, threatening to pull us back with them.

We keep going. I don’t dare slow down until I can see the portal in the distance, the ring of light calling us home. I can’t catch my breath, and I can’t stop.

The mist around us turns to rain, relentless, pounding rain that cuts into my cheeks and seeps its cold into my bones. The mountains quake. My boots are soaked through, and when I look down, rising water has reached my ankles.

Finn swallows and scans the mist. “My father’s here,” he whispers. “I feel him.”

I look all around us, but all I see is lashing rain, rising water, and dreary skies in all directions.

“I understand now,” he says, slowing to a stop. He’s not talking to me. He’s speaking to someone I can’t see.

The glow from the portal flickers, then dims.

“Finn,” I say, tugging on his hand. If I had a chance to speak with my mother again, I would take it a heartbeat, but we need to get out of here.

“Shit,” Finn shouts, his eyes on the water that’s now knee-deep. “Run!”

I don’t need to be told twice. I race toward the dimming light of the portal. My legs can’t move fast enough through water that’s surging up toward my thighs. Then I’m swimming.

I glance back to make sure Finn’s behind me, but he’s stopped again. His face is tilted up and his eyes shut. “Go!” His voice is strong, but his body . . . he’s fading away. Like a cloud that’s dissipating in the light of the sun.

“Not without you. Hurry!”

“I’m stuck. The rocks shifted. Go!”

I swim toward him, and he shouts at me. “Damn it, Abriella! You don’t have much time.”

The portal glows behind me, beckoning to me, but I can’t turn my back on Finn. I won’t. Mab’s taunting words echo in my head, but I ignore them. The girl who came to a new world to save her sister is the same one who won’t turn her back on the one she loves.