The Wrong Bride (The Windsors, #1)(84)

“I forget that you haven’t been in my room in years, if ever.”

Ares pauses, a hint of remorse flashing through his eyes. He walks up to me and kneels down in front of me, his eyes on mine. “Tell me, Cupcake. Is there anything I can do to make this weekend more bearable for you?”

I look into his eyes and sigh. “Shouldn’t I be the one to ask that question? Being here, around Hannah. Isn’t it hard for you, too?”

“It should be, shouldn’t it?” he asks. “But it isn’t. It doesn’t affect me at all.” He reaches for me and buries a hand in my hair before pulling me closer, his lips hovering over mine. “How could it, when I’ve got you?” He kisses me then, his touch rough and demanding. Just like that, he melts away my worries.

“Raven!” Mom shouts from downstairs.

I groan when Ares pulls away and drops his forehead to mine. “Come on,” I tell him. “We’d better head downstairs.”

He presses another quick kiss to my lips before he rises to his feet and pulls me up with him. Perhaps this weekend will be manageable after all.

Ares follows me down, and the front door opens just as we reach the bottom of the stairs. Hannah walks in, pausing when she sees Ares. Her eyes flash with agony for a moment, and it hits me right in the chest. This is exactly what it used to be like for me. I used to hate coming home, because I couldn’t bear seeing her with him. The last thing I want to do to her is make her feel my pain. No one should have to go through that.

“Raven!” Mom calls again.

I inhale deeply as I make my way to the kitchen, my mind on Hannah and Ares. I have no doubt she’ll try to get his attention, and it makes me feel uncomfortable. Is this what the rest of our lives will be like? Will I be at odds with my sister forever? Ares and I might be okay right now, but this entire situation is taxing for all of us.

Mom smiles at me and points to the sink. “Do you think you could quickly help me load the dishwasher?”

I nod and get to work quietly. I wait patiently, knowing she wouldn’t have called me in here if she didn’t have anything to say to me.

“Rave,” she says eventually. “Don’t you think it’d be good for Ares and Hannah to talk through their issues? Their breakup was messy, and it affected us all. I’d really like to go back to a time when there was harmony in our home.”

Harmony. I suppose that’s what everyone but me experienced here. For me, this home has always been filled with longing. I wanted to belong, to be loved. First by my parents, then by Ares. This is the home that has always left me feeling inadequate, the home that took until I lost myself.

I remain silent as Mom stares at me. The truth is that I don’t have an answer for her. Yes, it would be nice to have harmony, but for who? In the scenario we’ve found ourselves in, someone is bound to get hurt, and for once, I won’t let it be me.

“Oh,” Mom says. “Good. They’re talking.”

I tense and follow her gaze. The kitchen window looks out to the veranda, where Hannah and Ares are standing, lost in conversation. The way he’s looking at her makes me feel sick. I know that half smile. It’s how he’s always looked at her, as though he finds everything she does endearing.

I try so hard to be strong, but watching the two of them from here, where they think we can’t see us, fills me with insecurity. He was so assertive and drew a clear boundary between them that day in the theater, but was that just because I was there? Was he just doing what he considered the right thing to do?

I bite down on my lip harshly, annoyed with myself for doubting him. This is what this home does to me. It fills me with insecurity and heartache. It doesn’t matter how much I grow as a person. Every single time I go home, it feels like I’ve taken ten steps back.

I grit my teeth and wash my hands, leaving half the dishes in the sink as I walk out of the kitchen.

“Raven!” Mom shouts, her tone angry. I ignore her and walk onto the veranda, finding Ares and Hannah by the swing in the corner.

They both look up at me, and Hannah tenses. “Raven,” she says, forcing a smile. It hurts that this is what our relationship has become. When I look at her, it isn’t my sister I see anymore.

I let my eyes roam over her leisurely, pausing on her hand for a moment. “You’re not wearing your wedding ring,” I say, my tone nonchalant. “You know, the one you told me Ares gave you?”

Her eyes widen, and she shoots him a furtive look before looking back at me. “No, I stored it away safely. I didn’t want to risk anyone asking questions about it.”

Ares grabs my hand and lifts it to his lips, kissing the back of my hand and positioning it so my wedding ring sparkles in the light just right. “Just wear it if you want,” he tells her. “It’s a relatively simple piece of jewelry. It’s nothing but a relic from the past.”

Hannah clears her throat and looks down at the floor, leaving me feeling torn. I don’t want to knowingly hurt her, but I want the reassurance that Ares’s touch gives me.

“You know,” she says. “Tonight is the first night in years that the three of us will all be spending the night here. We should play some board games or something.”

Ares wraps his arm around me and shakes his head. “Perhaps some other night,” he tells her, before turning to me. “I’m pretty tired.” The way he smirks at me tells me he’s not tired at all, and I suspect Hannah knows it. “How about we head to bed?”