The Wrong Bride (The Windsors, #1)(44)

“Would it kill her to do the same for me?”

Mom sighs. “I’m so incredibly disappointed in you, Raven. I don’t understand how you two can both be my daughters when you’re so different. I wish you could be more like your sister.”

I laugh humorlessly. “Yeah, join the club, Mom. Everyone wishes I could be Hannah, but I’m not. I’ll never be her.” I run a hand through my hair and stare up at the ceiling.

“No,” Mom agrees. “You’ll never be her, but you can at least try to be half the woman she is. Call your sister, Raven.”

She hangs up on me, and I bite down on my lip harshly in an effort to suppress my tears, yet they fall anyway. Each and every time I speak to her, I’m left feeling like an awful daughter. I should just give in and do what she asks, but I know I’d hate myself even more if I did.

“Raven.”

I turn around to find Ares leaning against the wall, his arms crossed. The way he’s looking at me tells me he’s been standing there a while, and I sigh as I let my eyes fall closed for a moment as mortification washes over me.

“Cupcake,” he says, his tone gentle.

“I don’t want your pity.” I glance at him, taking in the gray sweatpants he’s wearing and the white t-shirt that showcases his muscular arms. Just looking at him hurts. I hate that I want him. I hate that I’m his wife, yet I’m the one person he least wants to see. “Or is it not pity you’re offering me? Let me guess, you agree that I should call your precious Hannah, don’t you?”

He pushes away from the wall and walks toward me, but I hold up my hand and shake my head. “Forget it. Whatever it is, I don’t need to hear it.”

I move to walk past him, but he grabs my wrist and holds me in place. “Cupcake, all I wanted to ask is if you’ve had time to eat today. Shall I warm something up for you?”

I blink in surprise and shake my head. “No,” I tell him, my shoulders slumping. “Thank you, Ares, but I just… I’m going to bed early tonight.”

I pull my wrist out of his grip and escape into our bedroom, my heart heavy. Tonight is the first night that he’s been home before me, and I have no doubt it has everything to do with the conversation we had this morning. I asked him to stop avoiding me, yet here I am, running away.

My breathing is labored as I walk to our bathroom. I should be happy that Ares is home with me for once, but right now, in this moment, I wish he wasn’t. Pure agony spreads from my heart to the rest of my body, until my throat closes up. Hot tears stream down my face as I undress, and I only barely manage to hold it together. I try my hardest to breathe through it, to keep my sobs in, but the moment the shower stream hits my skin, I fall apart.

It isn’t just my mother and the pain she continues to cause. It’s everything else too. Why is it that no matter what I do, I’m never good enough?

My soft sobs are drowned out by the shower’s sound, and I lean against the wall as I allow myself to feel every bit of agony that I try to keep hidden.

Normally, the one thing I’ve got going for me is my work, but not today. I had to redo my shots over and over again because I couldn’t get my expression just right, and then there are the issues I’m running into with sourcing materials for my next designs. My day had been awful before my mother called, but she undoubtedly made it worse. Am I really asking for too much when I wish that my mother would console me on a bad day instead of asking me to lend my sister a shoulder?

Why can’t I ever be anyone’s priority? What makes me so undeserving of that? Why can I never measure up against Hannah in my parents’ eyes? In Ares’s eyes? What is it that she’s got and I’ll never have? Why is my best never enough?

A crushing sense of defeat weighs me down as I struggle to breathe through my tears, choking back my tears. I may have married Ares, but he can barely stand to be around me. I’m his wife now, but the price of that title was our friendship… and I’m pretty sure it’s going to cost me a whole lot more than that in the long run. It’ll cost me my precarious relationship with Hannah and my parents too.





Chapter Twenty-Nine





Ares





I clench my jaw as I listen to the sound of my wife’s sobs through the bathroom door. She’s trying her hardest to be quiet, and it kills me. I have no doubt I’m one of the sources of her pain, and I don’t know how to make it better.

The shower turns off, and I take a step away, making my way to our bed instead. I get in and grab my phone, unsure how to act. For a moment, I consider texting my sister and asking her to come over, but then I think better of it. If it’s Sierra she needed, she would’ve just gone there herself, wouldn’t she?

Raven walks out wearing an oversized t-shirt instead of one of the sexy nightgowns I’ve gotten used to, yet she somehow looks even more irresistible than usual. She pauses when she sees me sitting up in bed and averts her gaze instantly, no doubt hoping I won’t notice how red her beautiful eyes are.

I force myself to look away, and pretend to be engrossed in my phone instead. I don’t know how to face her. I want to be there for her, but I don’t want to push or intrude if that’s not what she needs.

Raven is quiet as she gets into bed with me. I expected her to say something, anything at all, but she just turns her back to me and curls up in a ball, her breathing still uneven.