The Wrong Bride (The Windsors, #1)(33)
I nod obediently and step out of the car, my eyes locking with Raven’s as I bend down and reach for her. She looks reluctant and scared, and I hate that I’ve put that look in her eyes. I hate that she was forced to do this at all.
I wrap one arm around her waist and the other underneath her knees as I lift her into my arms. Raven gasps, her arms finding their way around my neck.
“Ares!” She looks at me, and the expression in her beautiful hazel eyes stops me in my tracks. “You don’t have to do this.” She sounds hurt, broken. Today might be hard on me, but it’s just as hard on her. We both lost a lot today.
“You heard Grandma,” I tell her, my voice soft. “Besides, the staff will all be watching us.”
As if on cue, Donna, my housekeeper, appears at the door. She keeps her gaze trained on the floor, but her curiosity is palpable. Our household staff was all expecting Hannah. I know they won’t say a word about it, but it still feels unsettling.
I carry Raven into my home, my heart aching as I walk toward the living room with her in my arms. I can feel her gaze on me, but I can’t bear facing her. She has no idea how many times I’ve imagined carrying in her sister this way… but if I want to do right by her, I need to ensure she’s never reminded of that.
Chapter Twenty-One
Ares
I can feel Raven’s gaze on me as I carry her into the living room, but I don’t know how to face her. If not for me, she wouldn’t be in this situation. I should’ve tried harder to convince Hannah. I should’ve gone after her when I was notified that she left the country. Instead, I sat back and watched our lives go up in flames, making Raven pay the ultimate price.
“I need a drink,” I tell Raven the moment I put her down. I turn away from her and walk toward my liquor cabinet, pouring myself a whiskey neat.
“Make that two,” she says as she sits down on the sofa.
Her hands tremble as she takes the glass from me, and I tear my gaze away, throwing my drink back before instantly refilling it. For some reason, I’m reminded of the way I kissed her today, the way she kissed me back.
“I’m sorry,” I tell her as I sit down opposite her, a safe distance away from her. She looks so beautiful tonight, in that wedding dress she was never meant to wear.
“For what?”
I force myself to look her in the eye and take a deep breath. She’s my wife now, but what does that mean for us?
“For kissing you.”
Raven leans back against the sofa and takes another sip of her drink. “I would’ve been embarrassed if you hadn’t. Not that many people knew about Hannah and you, and the few who do are tied to an NDA. Most of our guests assumed our wedding was real, and thankfully, we’ve been able to make it look real too.”
I nod at her, unsure of what to say. It’s never been awkward between Raven and me. We’ve always been comfortable with each other, even when we’re sitting together in silence. Somehow, everything feels different now. We both lost a lot today, and I’m starting to fear that in some ways, we lost each other too.
“We should probably talk about… us,” I say.
Raven tenses, her spine straightening. “Yes. We should.”
I run a hand through my hair and stare up at the ceiling for a moment. “I’m sorry it came to this, Raven. The thought of me being the reason you don’t get to live the life you envisioned for yourself, fuck. I’m so fucking sorry.”
“Ares.” Her voice is soft but firm, and I sit up straight to face her. “This isn’t your fault. I admit that I also didn’t think Hannah truly wouldn’t show up, but it’s done now. We’re married.”
Married. Fuck. This is a complete fucking shitshow. How the fuck did I end up married to my fiancee’s younger sister? What the fuck? I take a calming breath before tipping my drink back. I need some fucking liquid courage for this shit.
“I know this isn’t what you wanted, Raven, and truthfully, I didn’t think that it’d come to this. I want you to know that I don’t expect anything from you. All I ask is that we make it look like we’re giving our marriage an honest chance — in Grandma’s eyes, at least.”
“In Grandma’s eyes,” she repeats, her gaze roaming over my face. “What does that mean?”
I pull my bowtie loose and unbutton the top button on my shirt. “It means we only have to fake it in her presence. So long as she thinks we’re trying our best to be together, she’ll leave us alone. I’m the first of my siblings to get married, so I’m not entirely sure what to expect either, but I know my grandmother. If she thinks we aren’t trying, she’ll come up with all kinds of schemes, and we can’t have that. You only know Grandma as the sweet old lady she pretends to be in front of you, but she’s hard to deal with. I love her, but she can be a true nightmare.”
Raven rises to her feet, looking like a complete vision in her white wedding dress. All day I’ve tried my hardest not to stare at her, but it’s impossible to resist. She looks stunning, and the deep V at the front of her dress showcases her cleavage beautifully. It feels inappropriate to look at her a second too long, but I struggle to tear my gaze away. It’s strange that this beautiful woman is now my wife.