The Space In Between(6)

Ladasha snuggled her head into my shoulder, holding onto me tightly. I really hit the jackpot in the friendship department with this one. Ladasha was a beautiful human, inside and out. Her wardrobe demonstrated exactly who she was. It was sexy with a twist of flirtation attached to it. She always wore cropped, flowing tops that would showcase her flat stomach and belly button piercing. Her jeans were so tight they would appear to be her own skin if one didn’t notice the back pockets. Many other girls who would try to wear the risky outfits Ladasha sported would be tagged as a slut, but not her. Ladasha made the outfits somehow become classy—they were a part of her personality. She had beautiful caramel skin and legs that could spin for days. She was a floater, both on the stage and in life, and her outfits always reminded the world of that.
“Oh…and I forgot to tell you about the job…” My best friend’s smile read ‘forgive me’ and ‘try to understand’ as she proceeded to tell me she was now officially a stripper. “I mean, you wouldn’t be a stripper, of course! You would be a shot girl!” Her wide-toothed grin tried to make her new employment seem a bit better, but I wasn’t buying it.
“Ladasha! Stripping?! Are you kidding me?!” I cried. Everything I knew about strippers involved drugs, sex, and Channing Tatum. Okay, well, two out of three weren’t terrible, but still.
“It’s a form of dance…” she said.
“It’s a step away from prostitution,” I echoed into the air.
“I made three hundred dollars last night.” Well, I couldn’t argue the numbers.
The first night in the apartment was the toughest for me. I stood in front of the bathroom mirror with tears running down my face. I missed him so much it hurt to breathe. Ladasha didn’t ask me to talk about it. She just hugged me. She had met Derrick a few times throughout the school year and knew we were meant to be together forever. She just hadn’t known how short forever was.
I headed to the couch and pulled out my MP3 player, put the headphones in my ears, and listened to Derrick sing as I cried myself to sleep.
The days went on but the memories didn’t grow fainter. I walked into the strip club, wearing pretty much my underwear with the Up and Under logo pasted on my ass. The men were pigs, of course. Whenever I walked around with a tray of shots and one would reach for me, I felt the urge to slap him hard across the chin. They smelled like rum and filth, and they wanted nothing more than to touch a pair of boobs. And I was making it pretty easy for them to stare at mine.
Returning home, I went back to my regular routine of tears. I felt so ashamed of myself that missing Derrick didn’t fade away.
Kate, the other roommate, didn’t hold any pity for me like Ladasha did. “Is she going to be crying all the damn time? It’s effing annoying!” she hissed with her thick Brooklyn accent. She wasn’t one to hide her feelings and voiced them any chance she could get. “I’m serious, Ladasha. I cannot take it anymore. Do something. I’m going to Ricky’s for the night.”
She barged out of the apartment, taking with her the attitude. Ladasha rolled her eyes and joined me on the couch. As she sniffed the air, her eyes filled with questions of what she smelled. She set sight on the men’s cologne bottle on the coffee table. Picking up my pillow, she inhaled it, taking in the tangy scent. It was Derrick’s favorite. I felt so pathetic. But Ladasha smiled and tossed her legs on top of me.
“If you ever want to talk…” she offered. I declined.





DERRICK WRAPPED HIS arms around my waist and swung me side to side in my dorm room.
“Babe, stop, I have a class to get to.”I loved when he would visit during the week, but he made it extremely difficult to make it to class on time. Or, well, to make it to class at all.
His kisses behind my ear made my strides to attend lecture vanish. “I love you, Andie,” he whispered, his lips gently tugging on my earlobe.
“I know.”
He placed his hand on my chin and pulled me in closer to him, staring me down with his beautiful brown eyes. His long eyelashes blinked and he looked saddened a bit. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. Everything’s right when I’m with you.” He took my hands and placed them across his chest, holding me tight. “You’re the reason this beats. You’re the reason I don’t feel alone in this damn world. When I feel invisible, you see me.”
“Derrick…” I whispered, placing my hand on the side of his face.
“Will you marry me, Andie?”
A chuckle escaped my lips, we always joked about marriage, and I knew it would happen, just not now, five minutes before my class. I pulled away and picked up my books.
“I’ll see you after class, babe.” I kissed his cheek and he smirked, sliding his hands into his pockets. Opening my dorm door, I heard him call after me.
“Andie Evans, catch.” I turned around as he tossed me a box. My eyes filled with tears, studying the small box lying within my hands. Derrick swayed back and forth, “Open it.”
My fingers lifted the lid and the tears began to flood my cheeks. “D…” I looked to him and he was now down on one knee. “Ask me again.” I softly said, walking over to him.
He took my hand and kissed my palm, “I want you. I need you. I love you. Will you marry me, Andie?”





WHEN NOVEMBER CAME, the earth’s breaths were getting pretty chilly. I stared out of the bathroom window and looked at the first snowfall happening before my eyes.