The Slow Burn (Moonlight and Motor Oil #2)(26)

There was a lot to be worried about.

Toby didn’t confirm that.

And it sucked to have the clashing feelings of being glad his brother was part of a “we’re” and being frustrated as all fuck that the woman Toby wanted to give him that was right within his grasp and he could not have it.

“And I took that out on you,” Johnny went on.

Toby confirmed that.

“Yeah, you did.”

“This isn’t big brother shit, this is just brotherly advice, Tobe, but maybe you need to get out there. Look around. Find a woman. Ask her out. Move on,” Johnny advised.

“I know this is gonna piss you off and make you think I’m a flake, Johnny, but after New Years’, I’m leaving.”

Johnny had nothing to say to that.

“And this is brotherly respect I share why,” Toby continued. “What I feel for her, it’s more than you think. It isn’t about finding someone else to ask out. I don’t even see other women anymore. But some guy is eventually gonna see her and I cannot be around to watch that.”

“Jesus, Toby,” Johnny whispered in a way that Tobe knew his brother now, finally, really got him.

“She gets her feet under her and her head around bein’ a single mom, she’ll start livin’ life again, and where I’m at right now, I can’t handle how that might go down. So I got that friend down in Florida, he’s always on me to come down and help him run his gig. I’m gonna head down there. I’ll be back in July to hang and do the bachelor party for you, go to the coed shower Izzy wants to have, whatever the fuck, and stand up with you at your wedding in August. If by then my head is somewhere else, I’ll stay. We’ll see. But for now, I’m not takin’ off on you, Iz, Addie, Margot and Dave. You got notice. I’ll tell Margot and Dave and Addie when I got time but that’ll be soon. Then, after the new year, I’m gone.”

“It runs that deep?” Johnny queried.

“Love you, brother. But just to say, you’re usually sharp. You in your own thing with Izzy, maybe you aren’t paying attention. But pay attention. She isn’t Izzy and I’m not you. She’s Addie and I’m me. You think on it, you’ll answer that question yourself.”

“Toby—”

“My mind’s made up,” Toby cut him off to say, done with the big brother shit, he was now done with this conversation. “But heads up, I’m not comin’ to Addie’s thing tomorrow night. As you know, we were in each other’s faces yesterday. I’m still pissed as shit at her, and I need some space. We’ll sort it out. We’ll have a good family holiday. Then I’ll be outta here.”

“For the record, I don’t want you to go,” Johnny shared. “I like havin’ you around.”

He liked being around.

And he totally dug Johnny liked having that.

Sadly, that didn’t change anything.

“I’ll be back.”

“Right, then more advice. Don’t commit to your man in Florida. Take a week to think and let shit chill. You might be in a different frame of mind, whatever happened with Adeline cools off.”

That wasn’t going to happen.

But he could make that promise.

“Good advice,” he muttered. “I’ll take it.”

“One more thing, Toby.”

Shit.

Johnny didn’t hesitate giving it to him.

“I love you too. And now I realize I’ve been hard on you. It’s part big brother bullshit. But it’s also part Dad wanted us to run the garages together, and I want that for Dad, but for me too. Though I’ll share again, I just like having you around. I’m not sayin’ that to put pressure on you to stay. I’m sayin’ that because you pointed out I’ve been bein’ a dick, and you were right in everything you said, including the fact I’ve been bein’ a dick. I’ll stop bein’ that not only because you’re right, but because I love you and I like workin’ with you, havin’ you close, havin’ you be a part of me findin’ Iz and plannin’ our lives. And I like to think that when we get down to makin’ a family, since my woman wants fifteen kids, they’ll have their Uncle Toby around.”

Fuck, that felt good.

Though he hoped Johnny didn’t give Eliza fifteen kids. They’d both be run ragged, and birthdays and Christmases would be a bitch.

To explain all that to his brother, Toby said, “You’re not a dick.”

“No. But I’ve been bein’ one and that’s gonna stop. You got your own life to lead and you’re right, it’s time I laid off. That starts now.”

Toby blew out another breath before he muttered, “Thanks.”

“One other thing before I let you go.”

Jesus Christ.

“What?” Toby prompted when Johnny didn’t say anything.

“Something you might not know, Izzy likes you for Addie. Margot likes you for Addie. The only one of our crew who didn’t is me. So while you’re takin’ that week to think, now that we’ve had this out and you’ve shared where your head is at, think about the fact you might want to be around when Adeline gets her feet under her and hits her groove with bein’ a single mom.”

Toby stared at the counter of the island not seeing it, the shock his brother’s words sent through him struck that deep.