The Shadows (Black Dagger Brotherhood, #13)(183)

Interesting how he’d used the they there.

Yeah, he was beginning to feel vampire, not Shadow, regardless of his DNA. Then again, Wrath and the Brotherhood had offered him and his brother food, shelter, friendship, loyalty.

The s’Hisbe had only been full of demands and jails.

“When you go back there,” iAm said, “you can tell them my brother and I aren’t staying with the vampires anymore, and Wrath and the Brothers have no knowledge of where we have gone. We are going to disappear, and none of you”—he glared at the Princess—“will be able to find us.”

Another bene of this royal reveal of hers?

The one thing that might have torn him up at the idea of leaving, the one tie he might have had to here, was now gone.

Leaving Caldwell, leaving the United States, getting good and gone and staying that way was probably going to be healthy for him.

Shit knew they had enough money to go for a century even if they never earned another penny. And although he would be sad to see the last of the King and the Brotherhood and that whole household, if it avoided war, he was prepared to leave them.

He and Trez were out of here.

For good.

As iAm went over to the sliding glass door, Catra had to yell at herself not to run after him. It all seemed like such a nightmare, everything about the evening.

He did not look back at her as he left.

And even though she could not blame him, she wanted to cry out.

Closing her eyes, she bowed her head and breathed into her palms.

“Do not tell me you fell in love with him,” s’Ex said grimly.

Forcing herself to drop her hands and address the executioner, she met his eye. “Why were you here? You couldn’t have been following me. I was careful.”

He looked away. “I am not unfamiliar with this place.”

“You have been here before?”

“You are not the only one who wishes to be free from time to time. Those two brothers owed me certain … favors, shall we say.”

When he stopped there, she sensed there was pain in him. Deep pain. And she wondered if perhaps he had not been mourning his infant in this private place, mourning the loss that had been decreed by the stars.

Staring at the proud male, she found herself forming a kinship of sorts with him. She would ne’er have guessed he was unhappy or unfulfilled in his lot, and perhaps he was not. But he had had to sacrifice his own flesh and blood for the traditions … and for her mother.

Or been forced to, because of the stars.

“I am sorry,” she said.

“Whate’er for?”

“You are well aware of what.”

It was rare that a male such as he would duck eyes to avoid a stare, but he did that now. “I am unaware of what you speak.”

Refocusing, she knew they had to leave, and for several reasons. She was very clear, however, that this would be the last time she stepped foot in this place that held such memories for her. Though she had known iAm for mere nights, it had been … a lifetime.

Departing from here was like closing the door on the one bright spark she had e’er had.

“Let us proceed,” s’Ex said, as if he read her mind, sensed her emotions.

Without further conversation, they donned their hoods, went to the door, and stepped out. The wind was so strong and cold that it stole her breath away, and for a moment, she couldn’t concentrate and dematerialize. Soon enough, however, she was off along with s’Ex, traveling to the Territory.

When they re-formed, it was in the forest to the rear of the retaining wall. In her maid’s disguise, she would never have been allowed through the front entrance—

Something was wrong.

Several guards were clustered around the back entrance, talking with animation.

“Stay here,” s’Ex ordered. “And don’t argue with me.”

“They won’t know who I am.”

“Unless someone figured out you left.”

She had been careful, she thought.

Except … her mother was onto her, wasn’t she.

s’Ex took a step forward. Stopped. Pivoted around and indicated to the left. “There’s a secret panel about a quarter of a mile that way. I’ll meet you there as soon as I can.”

Catra frowned, and was curious when she had a sudden protective urge over s’Ex. The Queen’s executioner was more than able to take care of himself, however.

Unless, of course, he was somehow found sneaking her back in. Then he was in mortal danger.

“I regret the position I have placed you in,” she said.

“Regret is not a luxury you and I can afford. Go that way. I’ll get you to your quarters somehow.”

With that he strode off, not bothering to hide his footsteps. And at the sound of cracking sticks, the guards drew weapons, prepared to attack.

“’Tis I,” s’Ex announced.

The fact that the guards did not relax made her worried.

“You are wanted,” one of them said suspiciously. “The Princess is gone.”

“I know. I have been out looking for her.”

“AnsLai has been in search of you,” another added.

“Then I shall go to him now and make my report.” He dropped his voice to a threat. “Unless you are of a mind to attempt to prevent me access.”