The Shadows (Black Dagger Brotherhood, #13)(181)

Cold. Cold over his head, on his shoulders, across his chest, down to his feet.

iAm went instantly cold.

s’Ex was a lot of things, but one thing he rarely ever was … was angry. And the male was rip-shit pissed-off at the female who stood across the way from him, as if she’d put all of them into a situation that none of them were going to be able to handle.

If she’d actually been a maid? He wouldn’t have cared. The servant class was not valued above their ability to perform functions—s’Ex might have ordered her back to the Territory and sent her for some punishment, but he wouldn’t be this incensed.

Turning to maichen, iAm leveled his stare at her. In a perfectly calm voice, he said, “I am going to ask you once, and only once—and you are never going to get another chance to be honest with me. So take your goddamn time to think about what your answer to this question is going to be. Who. Are. You.”

As he waited for her reply, he thought back to one particular thing she’d said. At the time he’d taken the meaning in an opposite way. Now? He feared she’d been hinting at her truth; he just hadn’t realized it.

We’re equal, you and I.

No, she’d said, sadly we are not.

Princess Catra vin SuLaneh etl MuLanen deh FonLerahn stared into iAm’s eyes. Although his voice had been even to the point of relaxed, he was anything but. Fury seethed under his skin as he came to his own conclusion—and was obviously just waiting to see if she had the guts to reveal herself.

“Give us a moment,” she said to the executioner.

“I don’t think so, Princess.”

“You will depart this room and wait out there”—she pointed to the open door—“until I call you back in here.”

s’Ex’s eyes narrowed, a flare of hatred glittering out at her. “Don’t flex muscles you do not have, female.”

“And I advise you not to test me. You will not enjoy the outcome—or survive it.”

As she pegged him with a hard stare, s’Ex’s upper lip curled back, but she did not care. He was a killer and a very potent male, but he was, and always would be, ruled by the traditions of the s’Hisbe. That was what was not understood about him—he had never once killed or maimed without provocation. And she had long suspected that he gave himself unto her mother not out of love, but to provide a stabilizing effect politically.

Few would guess the true role he played behind the scenes—but she knew it, because she had eavesdropped for all those years.

And yet in spite of the sway he held and the influence he had at the palace, he had never tried to overthrow or even diminish her mother in any fashion.

Instead, he had always upheld their ways. Protected them. Nurtured them.

“Go,” she snapped.

With a curse, s’Ex turned and walked off. When he reached the slider, he muttered, “You have no idea what you’re dealing with, iAm. Have fun.”

Stepping out, he closed the door. And stayed exactly where she had ordered him to remain.

Closing her eyes, she tried to find the right words. She hadn’t slept at all during the day, but had wrestled with her conscience for hours. And when she had come here earlier, she had been resolved: She was totally and completely in love with iAm.

And knew that it had been a terrible mistake to take things as far as she had.

It was time to tell him … before he touched her. After that, she would likely to be too lost once again.

Clearing her throat, she said, “I am—”

“Actually,” iAm interrupted, “don’t bother. That little act you just pulled with him is as much explanation as I need.” He broke off and began to pace, dragging his hands over his head. “What the f*ck were you thinking—”

“I did not mean for this to happen.”

“Oh, come on, Princess, like you slipped and fell on my dick? We both know that’s not what went down.”

She frowned. “I do not quite understand that phrase, but given your tone, I must ask whether such crudeness is required—”

“Are you kidding me?” He threw his hands up. “You’re betrothed. To my brother. And not only did you lie to me, you f*cked me!”

Catra crossed her arms and glared at him. “Perhaps you would like to rephrase that to reflect the truth.”

“So you’re delusional as well as a liar? Great. Fabulous. What exactly are you disputing? Your lying or our f*cking?”

“If I remember correctly, you were hardly taken advantage of by me. And that’s what you’re making it sound like.” She jutted forward on her hips. “Indeed, I recall exactly how your voice sounded in my ear as you said my name.”

He recoiled. Blinked a couple of times. Then he leaned in as well. “But that wasn’t your name, was it. As far as I knew, I was laying with a maid, not the heir to the goddamn throne!”

“You were laying with me!” She struck her own chest. “I’m who you were with!”

“Bullshit! You don’t think for a f*cking moment that I would have made different choices if I’d known who you really were? Or are you so f*cking selfish and stuck-up, Your Serene Highness, that you can’t comprehend or care, for even a minute and a half, that there are repercussions when you lie about your identity and lose your virginity to the wrong f*cking brother!”