The Rosie Project (Don Tillman #1)(37)



‘A communication error. Fortunately now rectified. We can proceed with the Father Project without the personal aspect.’

‘Not till I understand why you’re doing it.’

That difficult question again. But she had been happy to proceed when she thought that my motivation was romantic interest even though she did not reciprocate that interest.

‘There has been no change in my motivation,’ I said, truthfully. ‘It was your motivation that was a concern. I thought you were interested in me as a partner. Fortunately, that assumption was based on false information.’

‘Shouldn’t you be spending the time on your objectification project?’

The question was perfectly timed. The data I was looking at on my screen indicated a major breakthrough.

‘Good news. I have an applicant who satisfies all requirements.’

‘Well,’ said Rosie, ‘you won’t be needing me.’

This was a truly strange response. I hadn’t needed Rosie for anything other than her own project.





16


The candidate’s name was Bianca Rivera and she met all criteria. There was one obstacle, to which I would need to devote time. She noted that she had twice won the state ballroom dancing championship, and required her partner to be an accomplished dancer. It seemed perfectly reasonable for her to have some criteria of her own, and this one was easy to satisfy. And I had the perfect place to take her.

I called Regina, the Dean’s assistant, and confirmed that she was still selling tickets for the faculty ball. Then I emailed Bianca and invited her as my partner. She accepted! I had a date – the perfect date. Now I had ten days to learn to dance.

Gene entered my office as I was practising my dance steps.

‘I think the longevity statistics were based on marriages to live women, Don.’

He was referring to the skeleton I was using for practice. I had obtained it on loan from the Anatomy Department, and no one had asked what I required it for. Judging from the pelvis size, it was almost certainly a male skeleton, but this was irrelevant for dancing practice. I explained its purpose to Gene, pointing out the scene from the film Grease that was showing on the wall of my office.

‘So,’ said Gene, ‘Ms Right – sorry, Dr Right, PhD, just popped into your inbox.’

‘Her name’s not Wright,’ I said, ‘it’s Rivera.’

‘Photo?’

‘Not necessary. The meeting arrangements are quite precise. She’s coming to the faculty ball.’

‘Oh shit.’ Gene went silent for a while and I resumed dancing practice. ‘Don, the faculty ball is Friday after next.’

‘Correct.’

‘You can’t learn to dance in nine days.’

‘Ten. I started yesterday. The steps are trivial to remember. I just need to practise the mechanics. They’re considerably less demanding than martial arts.’

I demonstrated a sequence.

‘Very impressive,’ said Gene. ‘Sit down, Don.’

I sat.

‘I hope you’re not too pissed off at me about Rosie,’ he said.

I had almost forgotten. ‘Why didn’t you tell me she was a psychology student? And about the bet?’

‘From what Claudia said, you guys seemed to be having a good time. I thought if she wasn’t telling you it was for a reason. She may be a bit twisted but she’s not stupid.’

‘Perfectly reasonable,’ I said. On matters of human interaction, why argue with a professor of psychology?

‘I’m glad one of you is all right with it,’ said Gene. ‘I have to tell you, Rosie was a little unhappy with me. A little unhappy with life. Listen, Don, I persuaded her to go to the ball. Alone. If you knew how often Rosie takes my advice, you’d realise what a big deal that was. I was going to suggest you do the same.’

‘Take your advice?’

‘No, go to the ball – alone. Or invite Rosie as your partner.’

I now saw what Gene was suggesting. Gene is so focused on attraction and sex that he sees it everywhere. This time he was totally in error.

‘Rosie and I discussed the question of a relationship explicitly. Neither of us is interested.’

‘Since when do women discuss anything explicitly?’ said Gene.

I visited Claudia for some advice on my crucial date with Bianca. I assumed that she would be there in her role as Gene’s wife, and I advised her that I might require assistance on the night. It turned out she wasn’t even aware of the ball.

‘Just be yourself, Don. If she doesn’t want you for yourself, then she’s not the right person for you.’

‘I think it’s unlikely that any woman would accept me for myself.’

‘What about Daphne?’ asked Claudia.

It was true – Daphne was unlike the women I had dated. This was excellent therapy; refutation by counter-example. Perhaps Bianca would be a younger, dancing, version of Daphne.

‘And what about Rosie?’ asked Claudia.

‘Rosie is totally unsuitable.’

‘I wasn’t asking that,’ said Claudia. ‘Just whether she accepts you for yourself.’

I thought about it for a few moments. It was a difficult question.

‘I think so. Because she isn’t evaluating me as a partner.’

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