The Resurrection of Aubrey Miller(45)

There are only Quinn’s raspy wails from the backseat and the intermittent blows of Kaeleb’s palm against the steering wheel as he drives.
Yet, to me, the most damaging sound as we make our way home isn’t either of those.
It’s my complete and utter silence.
I have no idea how to comfort my friend.

Chapter Twenty-One

Over the next few months, I watch as Quinn dwindles away both emotionally and physically. She’s almost completely disappeared right in front of my eyes.
That fateful night at the club, something in Quinn broke. I mean, she was already cracked and splintered, but that night completely shattered her.
Her eyes no longer sparkle with whatever fabricated happiness she used to mask her internal struggles. I know now that the more she smiled and laughed, the more she was concealing her pain. What happened with Josh and Sabrina was enough to knock anyone down, I can’t deny that, but most people would have recovered by now. Quinn just continues fading away into oblivion, each day a fresh nick to the rope of her rapidly fraying mind.
And I can’t do shit about it.
I tried, in the beginning. I would ask if she were okay as I entered her darkened room and plopped down on her bed. This only resulted in her turning away and pulling up the sheets. After a while, I found myself just relieved that she was capable of moving at all.
Then, I asked her about class. Class that she never bothered to attend anymore. She managed to drag herself to finals, but that was about it. When she was done, she crawled back into bed and covered her head with her comforter. Nothing was said.
After a while, I just quit asking.
I was forced to leave her during Winter Break, heading to see Linda for a week over Christmas. The trip was kind of a bust anyway because Linda had bronchitis and I hardly saw her. It was probably for the best though because I wouldn’t have been good company. My thoughts were constantly pulled to Quinn and the state I would find her in when I got back to the apartment.
I was right to worry. As soon as I arrived back at the apartment, I found her lying in bed in the same pajamas she had on when I left. It wasn’t pretty. I forced her into the shower and then escorted her back to bed, turning off the light before shutting the door.
The worst was a couple of weeks ago when Kaeleb and I sat her down and attempted to force a very unrehearsed, spur-of-the-moment intervention. She sat slumped on the couch, picking the last bit of paint off her usually perfectly painted toenails while Kaeleb shouted at her from the floor. His frustration with her health had become completely unmanageable.
And rightfully so.
The areas underneath her collarbones jetted out from her shoulders as she hugged her knees, completely unfazed as Kaeleb continued his ranting. The dark purple shadows under her eyes were a stark contrast against the paleness of her normally radiant skin. I was surprised she had enough energy to make it into the living room. I said nothing, but Kaeleb begged her to eat something—anything.
My throat swelled shut with the sound of his pleading voice, and tears rolled down my cheeks as he spoke. Eventually, he reached his boiling point at her obvious disinterest, swiping everything off the kitchen island before bursting out the front door. But there was no reaction from her as she remained stagnant on the couch. After Kaeleb’s heated departure, her only words were, “We done here?” before heading back to her room.
So imagine my surprise when she up and decided to attend a family dinner during Parents Weekend. We had planned the outing for just Kaeleb, his grandparents, Linda and me, but when Quinn announced that she would be attending and asking her parents to come as well, my jaw hit the floor.
I couldn’t call Kaeleb fast enough to ask him to change the reservation.
He let out a long exhale. “Something’s not right.”
“Kaeleb, please,” I pleaded. He changed the reservation and then tersely informed me that he would pick us both up at seven.
And now, as she exits her room dressed in the navy dress I wore on my birthday, I bury the fear that accompanied Kaeleb’s initial reluctance as hope blossoms in my chest. I disregard the fact that the dress barely manages to stay on her shrunken frame. I ignore the sadness that still weighs on her expression. All my worry and frustration is replaced by budding optimism with the sight of her taking that first step back toward being human again.
When she smiles at me, I smile back, looping my arm into hers as we make our way to the front door.
“You ready?” I ask, grabbing my purse.
Walter whines from the kitchen, voicing his uncertainty with being locked inside a new crate.
Sorry buddy. No more shoes for you.
Quinn glances at him over her shoulder and then returns my stare. “Yeah. I’m ready.”
I eye her closely but push away the gnawing notion that her smile is off, that it’s one I don’t recognize because it’s a smile none-the-less, and that’s enough for me. We’re going to dinner as a family.
All of us.
Together.
The absolute high of that knowledge dulls any nagging feeling I may have about her state of mind.
After a quiet car ride, we finally enter the restaurant. I also choose to disregard the fact that Kaeleb has been unusually somber this evening. His only movements on the way here were to periodically check on Quinn in the rearview mirror.
The last to arrive, we make the introductions around the table. When Linda shakes Kaeleb’s hand across my body, she beams her approval at me and I can’t help but grin. She’s been bugging me to be formally reintroduced to him for months now and by the look on her face, I can tell she’s pleasantly surprised. Her smile widens after he pulls out my chair and with that one simple gesture, I know he has completely won her over.