The Music of What Happens(63)

Pam: So question … Who here buys that these two are not having sex on the daily?

(Only Max and Jordan raise their hands)

Betts: Sure.

Kayla: I know, right? They should embrace it. We’re all sexual beings.

Betts: Yep.

Zay-Rod: Yep.

Pam: Yep.

Jordan: But, um. Okay. So we’re taking it slow? Because there’s more to life than sex?

[Everyone but Max and Jordan make a sound that connotes disbelief]

Max: He’s not lying. Why are you so up in our business anyway?

Pam: We’re not. We just like the truth, is all.

Kayla: Exactly. Here you have all these friends who love you exactly as you are, and you can’t even be real about having sex.

Betts: He’s so repressed. Won’t tell us anything.

Kayla: Oh my God! He’s your Jordan. Do you give him makeovers and pep talks when you find his dildos?

Jordan: Kayla!

Max: Wha? This is, um. Information.

Jordan: [Turning the color of an eggplant] Pre-dating you, and can we not discuss this please?

Betts: Nice. So Maximo is the guy?

Pam: The guy?

Kayla: [Play slaps him] What is wrong with you? They’re both guys. Are you one of those boys who thinks if you’re penetrated you’re no longer male? Because that’s fucked-up.

Pam: True. And what about you?

Zay-Rod: Leave me outta this. B you’re on your own.

Betts: Nice loyalty.

Kayla: You were this close to being passable, but that misogyny shit knocked you down five pegs.

Betts: How the hell is that misogyny? Do you all live in crazy town?

Zay-Rod: B, think back a couple minutes. Strategy, dude.

Betts: Oh, right. [Puts his head in his hands] I’m a useless man.…

Kayla: Insincere.

Pam: I know, right?

Betts: I can’t do or say anything right.

Kayla: [Back to massaging his shoulders] Now we’re getting somewhere.

Betts: I will stop talking now.

Max: Good choice.





The girls and I debrief at the Chandler Mall food court.

“Zay is smokin’,” Pam says, as she picks at her usual Panda Express junk.

“He goes by Zay-Rod,” I say.

“Whatever. He’s hot.”

Kayla is off her diet and is eating a chocolate chip cookie from Panera for dinner. “How come you get the hot one and I get the one I’m not interested in?”

Pam shrugs. “Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful. And anyway you have Shaun.”

“That’s not gonna happen,” Kayla says, pouting. “He was absolutely, one hundred percent leading me on, which, if you think about it, is ironic because two years ago I would have totally ignored him in the hallway.”

“Which speaks highly of your character,” I add.

“Well, yes. But really we’re talking about the social order here. And speaking of which, I feel like there are gonna be two couples and I’m gonna be stuck with Ron Betts, who is … basic.”

“Basic dude bro,” Pam says, slurping her soda.

“Agreed,” I say. “Is Max?”

Kayla shakes her head. “That boy is quality. You need to keep riding that.”

“I’m not —”

She smiles in a way that tells me she’s somewhat kidding.

“So let me run something by you,” I say.

Neither girl stops chewing in any way that connotes, I’m listening. I go on anyway.

“I’m working on this poem. I’ve been thinking about the connections between people. That Max and I have gone to the same school for all these years and we didn’t even know each other until some crazy coincidence that he happened to walk by the food truck when my mom was melting down.”

Kayla suppressed a smirk. “Did we know that?”

“I think so?”

“Lydia Edwards in Super Fragile House Widows of Chandler.”

A bubble forms in my throat, and I swallow it. “So anyway, a big coincidence leads us to meet, and now, I don’t know if he’s like my forever boyfriend, but he’s important in my life. And maybe you and Zay-Rod? I dunno.”

“I’m not even tryin’ to —” Pam says, but a look in her eyes tells me she’s thought a lot about it since the other night when the six of us got together.

“So connections. How does it all work? Is there a God that does this, or is it all just coincidence? And like the movie Sliding Doors. Did you see that? Gwyneth Paltrow gets on a subway, and in an alternate universe she doesn’t, and her life is drastically altered either way.”

I have so much more to say, and I know this is a stretch. I knew it when I started talking. But that’s probably why I did. Because I feel like with Pam and Kayla, I’m forced to play this character. The GBF. Gay Best Friend. Campy and snarky and all on the surface. And I know that I’m not just that. And neither are they. I’ve known both Pam and Kayla for a long time, and while the moments have been few and far between, they’ve happened. I like them. I want more of them.

“It’s summer,” Kayla finally says.

“Yes …” I respond.

“I don’t do ideas in the summer.”

Pam says, “I’m with K. Save that shit for fall.”