The Military Wife (A Heart of a Hero, #1)(66)
“But sometimes you do.”
“At night when I can’t sleep, my mind goes round and round, imagining the worst.”
Harper had experienced a similar spiral of anxiety after word had reached her of Noah’s death. It had robbed her of sleep, happiness, and nearly her sanity.
“Can you talk him into going out for a weekend with Bennett?”
“I’m going to try, but it’s like he doesn’t have the energy to keep himself together that long. After you and Bennett leave, he’ll crawl into bed and not come out until morning when he has to show up at work.”
“How can his commanding officer not see what’s going on?”
“Maybe he does. Or maybe Darren has learned to hide it at work.” Her voice choked off. “I’m terrified he’ll be handed another deployment. What would happen?”
Nothing good, that was for certain. “If that happens, you’ll have to talk to someone.”
“It might ruin his career.”
Harper didn’t know how much sympathy would be afforded Darren. Things were changing, but the SEALs were known for being the baddest of the badasses. Either weakness was trained out of them or they quit.
“The alternative is not an option.” Harper wished she had something more useful to give Allison besides advice and platitudes.
The front door opened and chesty, male laughter drifted into the kitchen. Allison’s gasp and fleeting smile spoke of hope.
Bennett’s shadow filled the doorway before he appeared, tall and broad and more attractive than he had any right to be. Harper’s complicated feelings toward him defied easy labels and refused to be compartmentalized. What was clear from her eavesdropping the night before was the Noah-sized gash in her heart refused to let her move forward until it was healed. She suspected the truth would be a good start.
Darren leaned down to kiss Allison’s cheek, and she groped for his hand. This time, he didn’t pull away from her touch but pulled up a chair and draped his arm over the back of hers. She tilted toward him, her attention fixed on his face. He appeared almost carefree and his mood highlighted the stark difference in him from the night before.
“Did you boys hit the bull’s-eye every time?” Harper asked lightly.
Bennett poured himself a mug of coffee and took the empty chair. His knee bumped hers. “Darren schooled me. I’m rusty.”
“Griz was the best shot on the team. Beating him has been my life’s ambition.” Darren’s grin cast Harper back to all the cookouts and dinners she and Noah had shared with him and Allison. Some of Allison’s hope infected Harper.
“If you were that good, you should start including firearm training in your survival packages.” Harper slid her gaze to Bennett.
“Nah. Survival pits man against nature and a gun unbalances the equation.” He took a sip of coffee, the pause lengthening and gathering weight. “Anyway, I got my fill of shooting things in the service.”
Bennett’s words were like poison-tipped arrows. Harper fought the urge to draw him closer. Secrets hid behind the admission, too. Secrets that he held close and refused to share.
Allison and Darren seemed immune to the change in mood. Or maybe Harper had become finely attuned to Bennett.
The kids wandered into the kitchen in a video game–induced hunger. Sophie climbed into Darren’s lap, and he tweaked her nose, inducing giggles. As Allison put sandwiches together for the kids and Darren and Bennett caught up with military people she didn’t know, Harper studied the kids.
Libby watched her father out of the corner of her eye, a half smile containing a hint of happiness wrapped in suspicion. Ryan roamed the periphery like a stray dog desperate for a pet but wary after getting kicked too many times. Sophie played with her father’s hand. The difference in size and his gentleness settled a hard knot in Harper’s chest. Darren was a good man going through hell, but at least he had made it home alive.
Sometimes Noah’s memory only wisped on the edges of her day-to-day life, too ephemeral to perceive. But sometimes, usually unexpectedly, his memory punched so hard she lost her breath. The voices around her crescendoed in a buzz of white noise. No one seemed to notice her disquiet.
Except someone did notice.
Bennett’s hand covered hers under the table, linking their fingers. She should shake him off. Instead, she borrowed on his strength and recovered her composure piece by piece. Relying on a man who might not stick around was dangerous and foolhardy, yet she found herself tightening her grip on him.
She ignored the question in his eyes and pushed up from the table, disentangling them. “We need to get on the road. Ben will be anxious.”
They packed up their overnight bags and loaded into Bennett’s truck. After giving hugs all around, they set off toward Nags Head. The feeling they were leaving Allison and Darren in a better state than when they’d arrived helped quiet her worries.
Others took their place. Worries about Bennett and the past and future.
* * *
Bennett glanced over at Harper on the passenger side of his truck. A discordant note struck between them. He’d been disappointed to find his bed empty the night before. Not ideal circumstances, but if Darren’s middle-of-the-night rambling hadn’t interrupted them, he was pretty sure his conscience wouldn’t have put up a fight.