The Military Wife (A Heart of a Hero, #1)(63)

His hand was on a similar mission, snaking under her shirt to measure the length of her spine with his fingertips until they reached the band of her panties. Her back arched, an invitation to move his hand lower still. He accepted, palming her buttock.

She wanted him even though it was too soon and too complicated and too crowded in the house. He wanted her, too. She could feel him against her, his hips restless and searching.

The soft opening and closing of a door froze them like two teenagers caught by a spotlight. Footsteps sounded down the hall and creaked on the stairs.

Bennett rose, pulled on a T-shirt, and slipped out. She lay in the bed for a few minutes, her ears straining for a clue as to what was happening, but only silence reverberated.

She eased out of bed and glided down the stairs. The kids were motionless in their tent. She moved to the front room and peeked out of the windows. Her breath caught. Bennett and Darren were in the yard grappling.

Before she could decide what to do, they broke apart, their chests heaving. Words passed between them. She toggled the latch and raised the window a few inches.

“—unacceptable.” Bennett’s voice was low but commanding. “You need help.”

“Go to hell. You’re not my commanding officer. Never were.” Darren stalked up to the porch and Harper shrank down behind the window, pressing herself against the wall, but the doorknob didn’t turn.

“No, I am—was, anyway—your friend, unless I’m mistaken.” Bennett’s voice was close now, and she peeked over the edge. He stood toe-to-toe with Darren on the porch, only a few feet from her hiding spot. “I should have checked on you as soon as you got home. I’m sorry for that, but I’m here now.”

“I appreciate that, but there’s nothing you can do.”

“I can listen. You don’t think I had issues after I got home?”

“Nightmares?”

“Of course.”

“How often?” It was almost like Darren was in competition to see which one of them was the most screwed up.

“Often enough.” Bennett stepped back and leaned against the wall. The hovering testosterone cloud dissipated. “I got a dog. Believe it or not, he helps. So do people that care.”

“Allison doesn’t get it.”

“Have you tried talking to her?”

“No way am I going to lay my fucked-up thoughts on her.”

“A shrink?”

At Darren’s muttered curse, Bennet said, “Okay. Then, find someone to talk to who’ll understand. Like me.”

The ticking of a clock inside marked the silence. When Darren spoke, she had to strain closer to the opening to hear him. “I can’t turn my brain off at night. I lay there in the dark and think about things I did and the horrible things I saw. I relive them every night. Like it’s happening over and over again like Groundhog Day.”

“Same thing I went through.”

“How’d you get past it?”

“Booze. Denial. Compartmentalization. Then, one night I was out in the middle of the Dismal Swamp by myself and just … stayed. For two weeks I lived off the land. I saw no one, talked to no one; no one missed me.” His voice dropped. “I almost didn’t come back.”

“But you did. Why?”

“Along with peace, I located a selfish will to live. That’s when I got motivated to start the survival school. The school gave me purpose. Maybe that’s what you’re missing.”

“I have purpose. My job is important.”

“What are you going to do if they send you back over?”

Darren plopped in one of the rocking chairs and dropped his head into his hands, his voice cracking. “I-I … don’t know.”

“For your sanity, get out and find a different purpose. Concentrate on Allison and the kids.”

“The service is all I know. It’s all I ever wanted. How can I leave it behind?”

“Look at yourself. It’s killing you, man, as surely as a sniper’s bullet.”

A rhythmic squeak sounded from the slight motion of the rocking chair. “Don’t you think about Noah? Doesn’t he haunt you?”

Harper’s fingernails pressed into the soft wood of the sash at the mention of Noah, and her heart spurred like a horse given its head. Bennett’s face was cast in shades of gray, his expression camouflaged.

“Of course he does, but not in a bad way. I miss him like hell.” Bennett sounded as solemn and serious as she’d ever heard him, which was saying something.

“How can you … and her…” Darren gestured toward the house.

“Trust me, I didn’t plan it. You think Noah would have my balls?”

“Does she know what happened?”

Her head swam as the question birthed a million more. She dropped to her knees and closed her eyes.

“Not the details. And I’m not planning on telling her, either.” Bennett’s voice came from a mile away, almost indistinct. “It’s colder than a witch’s tit out here. How about we go inside?”

“You always did have a way with words, Griz.”

The sound of the rocking chair shifting got her on her feet, even though her knees didn’t feel strong enough to support her. She bolted up the stairs and into Sophie’s room and leaned against the closed door. Footsteps creaked the wood floors, but otherwise the men didn’t make a noise. They were trained to be stealthy and keep secrets.