The Military Wife (A Heart of a Hero, #1)(56)

“I said it’s okay.” The words came out harsher than he meant. “Sorry. It’s just…”

Noah cocked his head and waited. He was accepting of Bennett’s limits. It was one reason Noah was easy to be around. Another was the fact that he was a good person and even better friend.

Bennett squinted toward the tree line across the field of soybeans until they blurred into one blob of green. His laugh contained more bitterness than a pot of undercooked greens. “It’s a novelty to be mothered even for a weekend.”

“I wasn’t thinking, man.”

The silence bore down on Bennett until he had to break the tension. “I had no idea I was missing out on knitted scarves all these years.”

Their combined laughter petered out but left a new connection. One Bennett couldn’t help but hang on to. “If it hadn’t been for the drugs, I think my mom would have turned out okay. Maybe not homemade Rice Krispies treat–level good, but at least Oreo good.”

“Were they all shitty?”

“What? The cookies?”

“No. The foster homes.”

“Some were better than others.” The answer was a cop-out, and after everything Noah had shared with Bennett, the most valuable being friendship, he wanted to give more. “The best homes were ones where I was ignored. I got pretty good at staying under the radar.”

“What were the worst kind of homes?”

“The ones with lots of other fosters or older kids. Especially other boys. Every day was a battle. Luckily, I was always big for my age.” That hadn’t helped him when it was three on one, of course. “Occasionally, I got put with a family who preferred hands-on discipline.”

“Jesus. What did you do? Could you tell someone?”

“No one cared.” Except that wasn’t true. One woman had cared enough to give him one last chance. A chance that had changed his life. “Even then, I didn’t have it in me to cower and take it, so I fought back. Got me blackballed from any decent foster situation. Somehow my file came across the desk of a woman who saw past my anger to something worthwhile that had survived.”

“She hooked you up with your Sarge.”

“Sarge was her uncle and agreed to take me on. He was … special.” The former Army Ranger had been part drill sergeant, part therapist, and part father. “I wish he had lived long enough to know I’d made it as a SEAL.”

“I’ll bet he’s looking down on you now proud as hell.”

Bennett grunted. He didn’t believe in some afterlife bullshit. Nothing he’d seen or experienced led him to believe some benevolent deity was watching out for him. Instead of voicing his unpopular opinion, Bennett offered half of his extra treat to Noah. The silence between them wasn’t at all quiet or uncomfortable this time. Birds and squirrels made noises in the trees and critters rustled in the leaves at their feet.

“Can you keep a secret?” Noah asked.

“Who would I tell?” Bennett ignored the sad commentary his answer revealed.

“Harper’s pregnant.”

Shock zinged through him. He pulled Noah in for a sweaty slap across the shoulders. “Dude. Congratulations. Why are you keeping it a secret? Your mom would lose her shit.”

“It’s early yet and Harper wants to wait until her doctor’s appointment.”

“I’m happy for you guys. I really am.” And he was. The Harper he sometimes dreamed about wasn’t real. She was like a favorite mixtape he’d assembled in his imagination. The greatest hits of her letters.

Noah looked grim considering the news should be joyous. “This put the future in perspective, you know?”

“How so?”

“Harper can take care of herself. She’s strong. But a baby…” Noah scrubbed a hand over his buzz cut. “What if something happens?”

Bennett didn’t have to ask what he meant. He knew. Every SEAL knew. The thought was like an infestation of termites in the backs of their minds. It’s not like they worked behind a safe desk in a safe cubicle in a safe building. Things could go FUBAR in seconds.

But it’s what they’d signed up for. What they loved. “You thinking about getting out?”

“Not a chance.” In Noah’s pause, Bennett could hear the doubts. Drawing his words out, Noah continued. “Bu-u-ut … I have been thinking about contingencies. Listen, you can say no. Don’t feel obligated or anything, but I can’t think of anyone else. An-n-nd … well.” Noah petered into silence after tripping over his tongue.

“Damn, Peaches, are you working up the courage to ask me on a date or something?” Bennett stared at Noah in amused fascination. He hadn’t seen Noah this worked up since the day he’d shown Bennett the ring he’d bought for Harper.

Noah cracked a smile. “Not exactly. I want you to be a sort-of godfather. If you’re willing.”

Bennett straightened from his slouch against the tree. Religion hadn’t made an impact on his life, but he’d seen enough movies to know a godfather was supposed to guide a child spiritually. Or head up a Mafia family, but he assumed Noah wanted the former. “I’m not qualified to teach a kid about God or anything. I would only warp its little mind.”

“That’s not what I’m asking you to do.”