The Military Wife (A Heart of a Hero, #1)(36)

“Sorry.”

She gave a husky laugh. “Noah used to tell me the best way to share body heat was to get naked.”

Lightning passed through his body, an image frozen in his mind’s eye. The two of them in bed for entirely different reasons than to share body heat.

She inhaled sharply, her body tensing. “I didn’t mean—”

“I know.” If only circumstances were different then … Their paths would have never crossed. The only things binding them were shared memories of her dead husband, his best friend. He forced his muscles to loosen. “As a matter of fact, it’s both a great pickup line and true. One time, Noah and I—” He cut himself off, but it was too late. He’d invited Noah’s ghost to sit and stay a spell.

“You what?”

The fire had fully caught and cast a glow around the room. She popped up on her elbow. Her hair was out of the ponytail she’d worn all day and his hand itched to touch the tendrils that waved over her shoulder.

“We got separated from the team and had to spend a night in a cave in the Afghani hills. I’ve never been so damn cold in my life.”

“Did you two get naked?” The hint of tease in her voice surprised him.

Thinking or talking about Noah even all these years later brought a rush of guilt and pain. But a different realization joined the crippling emotions. Between training and deployments, Bennett had spent months at a time with Noah. Maybe even more time than Harper had with him in their too-brief marriage. The answers she sought were too costly for Bennett, but he could give her other memories.

“Not naked, but I’m not ashamed to admit we spooned.” Even as cold and miserable and sleepless as the night had been, Noah had managed to crack a couple of jokes. Bennett was smiling before he realized it and forced a frown.

“He was always so upbeat and optimistic, wasn’t he?” No pain hid in the fondness in her voice.

“It’s what got him through, I think.”

“Got him through what?”

“Training. Deployments. Dealing with the shit we had to deal with on a daily basis over there.” The years in foster care had killed any optimism Bennett had been born with. “He had an easier time than some readjusting to life back home.”

“Why did I never meet you when the team was stateside? You never came to cookouts or Super Bowl parties or baby showers. Why not?”

“I don’t know.” Except he did know.

A big part of why he stayed away was because of her and his inappropriate attachment. But another reason had been his own inadequacies. Being around his buddies’ families had been a stark reminder of how lonely his life was. No family left. No serious girlfriend. No friends, outside the SEALs. He’d often thought how easy his death would have been to handle. No one for the chaplain to visit. No one back home to mourn him.

“When did you decide to start your business?”

Grateful for the subject change, he said, “It had been brewing for a while. It’s something we used to talk about over there. Once a SEAL, always a SEAL, but everyone moves on eventually, either in the military or out of it.”

“Like Darren.”

“Yep.” He tucked his hand under his head and stared at the flickering shadows on the ceiling. “Sarge had taught me survival techniques and SEAL training honed them. Weekend warriors were eager to learn, and no one else offered what I could in the Virginia Beach area. Now, though, I have people fly in from New York, Atlanta, Boston. It’s grown even faster than my business plan predicted.”

“Wow.” She didn’t say more, but the energy that thrummed indicated she was wide awake. Finally, she said, “Do you want to hear something crazy? I’m thinking of starting a business.”

“Not crazy. Challenging, though. What kind of business?”

“We’re leaning toward a coffeehouse. Who doesn’t like coffee, right?”

“Who is ‘we’?”

“Allison and me. And a handful of other ladies from a support group for military wives. We’ve been chatting via text and Skype and … I don’t know, I think we’re onto something. We have a lot in common.”

He tried not to be curious but failed. “New businesses are risky even with something amazing to offer. Why would you want the stress?”

“Because”—she made a little sound of disgust—“my life is fine. Easy.”

“‘Easy’ sounds good.”

“Too easy. Unfulfilling. Boring.”

“Not good enough reasons to sink money into a business with no mission.”

“A mission and purpose I have in spades. It’s the product that’s been hard to nail down.”

He turned and propped his head up on his hand, matching her stance and putting their faces close. “Give me more info.”

She chewed her bottom lip, her gaze unwavering on his. “It started with Allison and Darren.”

“Heard Family Man got another promotion.” His life had diverged from his SEAL counterparts’, partly from circumstance but mostly by his own doing.

“Yeah. He’s part of JSOC now.” Troubles weighed the words and clouded her eyes.

“What’s wrong?”

“He’s having a hard time. PTSD, I think. Depression, maybe. Allison is at her wit’s end. I went down for a visit because Allison’s emails seemed … off. Darren sleeps too much during the day, and the night I was there he wandered around the base in the wee hours. Not sure what would have happened if I hadn’t been there.”