The Memory of You (Sanctuary Sound #1)(62)
“Sounds like you had quite the triumphant day with our daughter and your girlfriend.”
“Steffi’s not my girlfriend. But yes, we had a great day. Why does that make you angry?” He knew why. Val was a jealous woman on many levels. After Emmy’s weekend with John went to shit, the last thing his wife wanted was to hear about her daughter having a wonderful time with him and Steffi. Had he not just heard Emmy’s deepest wish, he might revel in the small victory. But a hollow victory was nothing to celebrate, not to mention that he couldn’t afford to twist the knife if he wanted a quick settlement. “I assume you asked to speak with me for a reason. Did you want to set up another visit?”
“I don’t know my schedule.”
He bit back a pointed remark about her priorities. “Is this about the settlement? I’d really love to resolve things so we can both move on.”
“I bet you would. Now that Steffi’s around, you probably can’t wait to get out of your mom’s house so you have some privacy.”
He sat on all his righteous indignation. “What I want is to do what’s best for Emmy, and getting her settled sooner than later is best. It’s not good for her to be in limbo. She’s been refusing to make friends because she doesn’t know where we’ll land.”
At least Val took a minute to think about that. “I didn’t know she was struggling this much. You have to keep me informed about these things, and how she’s doing at school. I want to come to parent-teacher conferences, too.”
“I’ll do my best.”
Val sighed. “I’m not trying to drag things out, but what do you expect me to live on?”
“What do you really need? It looks like John’s taking care of you in spectacular fashion.”
“We’re not married. If things don’t work out, I’ll be screwed. I’m looking for a job now.”
“Really?” If she had actual doubts that things would work out with John, why the hell did she blow up the family and leave her daughter? “I thought you didn’t want custody because John wanted to travel. How will you keep a job if you’re off seeing the world?”
“I’m applying for virtual assistant jobs with flexible hours so I can do them from anywhere as long as I have a computer. I’m good at admin.” Her defensive tone evoked a little pity. She’d put a career on hold while raising Emmy, which left her fewer options now.
“Sounds like a good middle ground.” He hoped she took that the right way. “If I don’t demand child support, would you forgo alimony? We could split all the other assets right down the middle.”
“You don’t think I deserve any alimony?” Her pained voice clawed at him with unexpected effectiveness, especially when it dropped to a near whisper. “It’s like nothing I did for you and our family had any value.”
“Of course it had value. But if I’m willing to give up any help with Emmy’s financial support, can’t you bend, too?”
“You never loved me.” The disheartened statement smacked him in the face like a wooden plank.
He didn’t understand how or why the conversation had jumped there. Untangling from a ten-year-long relationship was much more complicated—and heartrending—than he’d anticipated. “That’s not true, and it’s kind of irrelevant now, isn’t it?”
“Not to me, Ryan.” Her voice dropped again. “Not to me.”
He could picture her now, forehead in her hand, staring blankly in that way she did when she felt misunderstood or unloved. With some shame, he had to admit that the fact he knew that pose so well said something unflattering about him.
Ryan closed his eyes. Alimony wasn’t a measure of the love that did or didn’t exist in a marriage, but apparently it was to Val. “If you insist on alimony, then can you give me a bigger share of the equity from our house?”
“What’s the number?” John must’ve called her from another room because she then rushed Ryan off the phone. “I’ve got to run. Shoot me an email. But don’t insult me, Ryan.”
She hung up without waiting for him to say goodbye.
He went into Emmy’s room and set the phone on her dresser. He couldn’t keep drifting through life, letting events dictate outcomes. He had to take control of things and make some choices. Smart choices.
Tonight, after his daughter went to bed, he’d focus on the math he’d been hoping to avoid for the past two months so he could hammer out a deal with Val. He’d also do a little research to see if head trauma could cause epilepsy. Steffi hadn’t zoned out today, but he hadn’t forgotten Claire’s remarks, either.
He’d let his wife down, but he could still be there for Emmy. And maybe even for Steffi.
Chapter Thirteen
“I’m confused.” Benny reached across the table for the ketchup. He flipped the lid and drew a red circle on his burger. Behind him, yet another bug met the neon zapper. “Is this good news or bad news?”
The sun was setting earlier now, so her dad excused himself to go inside to turn on the backyard floodlights.
“It’s exactly what I expected.” Steffi ripped open a bag of kettle chips and poured two fistfuls onto her plate. “Nothing has really changed since my last concussion. There aren’t any growths—like tumors—to worry about, although there is a tiny bit of brain shrinkage. He said that isn’t shocking, given my history of concussions and the relative severity of the last one. I could be part of a ‘significant minority’ of folks who experience ongoing postconcussion trouble with paying attention or depression or a bunch of stuff.”