The Memory of You (Sanctuary Sound #1)(58)

“Your dad will save me, of course.” Steffi smiled at Emmy, reassuring her while transforming Ryan into a superhero.

Emmy grinned at him. The pride in her eyes would feed his soul if he was anything close to heroic in real life. But the truth was, he couldn’t even save his daughter from the pain of abandonment.

“How much longer?” Emmy asked Ryan.

“A while.”

She sighed. Twenty minutes and multiple “Are we there yets” later, both girls fidgeted wildly.

Lisa turned to Emmy. “Want to go back downstairs to play?”

“Okay.” Emmy bounded off the bench, completely disinterested in the birds, the other boats, or the distant view of the coastline.

Ryan supposed most kids jumped from destination to destination without taking the time to participate in everything along the way. Time couldn’t move fast enough at that age. They wanted to move, grow up, and taste freedom, ignorant of the fact that the responsibility that comes with that freedom changes everything. Makes you weigh your choices and consider the consequences. In other words, it slows you down.

“Told ya,’” Steffi said, sliding onto the seat the girls had vacated. She hugged her knees to her chest, removed the bandanna, and inhaled deeply as the wind blew her hair all about. “Thanks for letting me come. I haven’t sailed since . . . well, in forever. I forgot how much I love it.”

“My pleasure.” Unbelievably, he meant it. A shrink would have a field day with him. Maybe Val hadn’t been all wrong when she’d accused him of never having fully gotten Steffi out of his system.

When they finally arrived at the old secret spot—one he could almost find without plot charts and paper charts—he and Steffi worked in unison to lower the sails, pay out the line, and set the anchor.

“I think we’re good.” His voice cracked. Dropping anchor had always been a prelude to sex. Their routine had been sex, swim, eat, sex again, and then sail home. Now there were two little girls in the cabin—and ten years of mistrust between them.

Sex would not be part of today’s routine except for the way it curled the edges of his mind like a flame to paper.

“Should we eat first?” Steffi asked.

Apparently, she wasn’t thinking about sex at all. “Let’s eat up here. I don’t want Emmy indoors all day, for God’s sake.”

“Agreed.” Steffi cupped her hands around her mouth. “Come on up, girls!”

Seconds later, they scampered up to the deck.

“We’ll eat up here, and then we’ll swim.” Ryan noticed Emmy cast another worried look at the water.

“The islands are pretty,” Lisa remarked, looking at the small, rocky landmasses dotted with trees and homes.

“Glad you noticed.” Ryan then ruffled Emmy’s hair, but she kept her focus on the sea.

“You girls sit on that bench and watch for pirates while your dad and I go fix some plates.” Steffi grinned.

“There aren’t pirates here.” Emmy rolled her eyes.

“Oh?” Steffi heaved an exaggerated sigh. “No pirates. No sharks. What will we do for adventure?”

Then she marched below without another word.

Emmy and Lisa giggled. Ryan double-checked their life vests and said, “Don’t move from this bench.”

Below deck, he and Steffi worked side by side in the tight galley, each carefully avoiding looking anywhere near the forward cabin.

“It’s weird, right?” she finally said as he retrieved four water bottles from the cooler.

“What?” He hoped playing dumb would avoid an awkward conversation.

“The flashbacks. Memories.” She took two water bottles from him and tossed a quick glance over her shoulder toward that cabin. “I shared a lot of firsts here with you.”

Those few words sent him back in time.

“Are you sure you’re ready?” he asked while peeling his blue-striped bathing suit off. They’d prepared for this. Talked about it all week. He’d thought about it at least twice per hour since they’d made the pact and brought a box of condoms.

She sat on the bed, head hunched forward so as not to knock it against the ceiling, and removed her string bikini top to reveal pert, full breasts with pretty pink tips. “Yes, totally sure.”

He only half believed they’d go through with it. Now, watching her shimmy out of the bathing-suit bottoms, his heart climbed into his throat. Thrill. Fear. Wonder. A cocktail of emotion that pushed its way through his body, making him quake with anticipation.

This was it. His life would be defined as before and after this step with her. Everything between them would change, too. But it would be okay, because he loved her more than any person in his life, and she loved him. He was never more certain of that love than he was right then, when she reached out for him.

“Come on, Captain. Hoist your sail.” She’d always preferred jokes and physical expressions of love to intimate conversation. With a sly smile, she wound her arms around his neck and pulled him against her naked body.

What followed could only be described as a clumsy kind of passion, marked with scorching kisses, fumbling fingers, and shaky nerves. All of that wrapped in a beautiful heat that spread from his heart through his limbs, as he claimed Steffi Lockwood his . . . for always.

The boat rocked as the water lapped against the hull, and for a while, time ceased to exist.