The Memory of You (Sanctuary Sound #1)(43)

“I have trusted you. A ‘quit my job, moved out of my parents’ house to rent a place with you, and invested in a new business’ level of trust. I keep trusting you even though you refuse to go back to the doctor. Now you want to take this kind of chance? Seriously, Steffi, I really wonder what’s going on in your head.”

“Doctor?” Benny frowned before Steffi could defend herself. “Why do you need a doctor?”

Bother. Now she’d have to deal with her overprotective brother on top of dealing with her anxious friend.

“I don’t,” Steffi said at the same time Claire answered, “She zones out a lot.”

Steffi ignored both men, who were both staring at her with some measure of concern.

“Like a seizure?” Ryan’s brows pulled tight.

“No!” She hadn’t actually seen herself in a trance, but seizures came with convulsions, saliva, and other complications that she would have to notice, didn’t they? That couldn’t be her problem. Head trauma couldn’t cause them . . . could it? “The concussion from last spring has left me a little fuzzier than prior ones.”

“How much fuzzier?” Ryan had some experience with concussions.

“Fuzzy enough to upset Claire.” When neither man looked pacified by that attempted joke, she insisted, “It’s not that bad. Momentary lapses.”

“Get it checked, Steffi,” her brother commanded. “Does Dad know?”

“No, and don’t tell him. I don’t want him worrying.” She whipped her gaze to Claire and waved her index finger. “Just for this, now I’m definitely calling Gretta.”

“Call whomever you want, but we only have so much cash on hand. First you want to hire help, and now you want to buy a house? You must think Monopoly money will pay for these things.” Claire crossed her arms.

“Ha ha.” Steffi chugged her drink.

“It’s not funny,” Benny said. “Promise me you won’t ignore it.”

“I’m not a kid. I can handle my own health care, thank you very much,” Steffi grumbled.

Fortunately, the conversation ended when Melanie Westwood, a divorced brunette MILF, appeared out of nowhere and laid her hand on Benny’s shoulder. “Hey, you.”

His flirtatious smile appeared, which meant he’d be leaving them for his regular booty call. Steffi didn’t love their ongoing no-strings fling, but she didn’t judge them, either. Maybe casual affairs were the only kind a Lockwood could sustain. She’d made do with them for years without feeling like she’d missed out on much . . . until she’d been handed front-row seats to watching Ryan and Emmy.

Benny nodded to the group as he rose from his chair. “I’ll catch you all later.”

As he wandered away with Mel, Claire shifted in her chair, reaching for her cane. “I’m kind of beat, too. Do you mind leaving early, or maybe Ryan can give you a ride home?”

Going home at nine thirty on a Saturday night made Steffi remember why she’d initially wanted to leave her small-town life. She didn’t look at Ryan but guessed he bristled at the thought of being left alone with her. “It’s early, Claire. Stay another half hour.”

She shook her head. “The dancing wore me out, and my hip and leg are throbbing. I want to lie down.”

“Oh.” Sometimes she suspected Claire used her injury to get out of doing things she didn’t want to do. The uncharitable thought might be disloyal, but still . . .

“I’ll take you home,” Ryan offered.

She felt a smile pop into place before she could rein it in. “Are you sure?”

He nodded and sipped his beer, casting his gaze downward.

“Thanks.” She looked at Claire. “Guess I’ll see you at home later.”

Claire nodded and gave Ryan a friendly hug goodbye.

“I’ll see you to your car,” he told her.

Steffi watched them go out the door, unsurprised by Ryan’s gallantry. Sanctuary Sound wasn’t dangerous, and it wasn’t late by any stretch—but better safe than sorry. Another random act of violence might break Claire. If only Steffi hadn’t left that bar in Hartford alone . . . her stomach clenched.

Ryan returned, giving her something more pleasant to think about. Now that she was alone with him, an awkward silence expanded while she fidgeted and fumbled for a way to reestablish a familiar rapport. The people at the table behind them laughed raucously, and a couple to their left was three seconds shy of jumping each other’s bones right there in the bar. Meanwhile, crickets populated their table.

What had made her think they could fall into old patterns? They were different people. Strangers in some ways. They’d need to tear down to the studs to rebuild whatever they might become to each other from here. “Do you want to go hang with Benny and Mel and meet some new people?”

He shook his head. “I don’t have time to invest in new people right now.”

“I bet a lot of women here would like to change your mind.” As soon as she said that, she regretted it. Either he’d think she had no interest in him whatsoever, which wasn’t true, or he’d think she was testing his interest in her, which also wasn’t true. She’d filled the empty space with thoughtless conversation because she still had no idea how to talk to him.