The Lies That Bind(83)

I’m not sure what I’m going to do about telling Amy—or reporting his whereabouts to the authorities. The only thing I know for sure is that I’m going to tell Matthew everything. I am more sure of this decision with every mile, and by the time I’m crossing the bridge back into the city, I’m ready.

I return my rental car and walk hurriedly to my apartment. The second I’m inside, I head straight for the phone just as I look over and see Matthew sitting on my sofa.

I jump, thinking that my heart can’t take another surprise. “Shit! You scared me!”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to…but I’ve been trying to reach you all day, so figured I’d just come over. Where have you been?” He stands and walks over to me. “Remember we have plans tonight?”

“We do? What plans?”

“We’re supposed to meet Amy at Dharma to see that wedding band….Remember she invited us at the end of last night?”

“Oh, shit. I completely forgot,” I say, now busying myself with the buttons on my jacket.

    “So…where’ve you been all day?” he asks again.

“Umm…well…that’s kind of a long story,” I say, putting my purse on my desk, and the coat on the back of my chair.

“Oh?”

“Yeah,” I say.

“Well, do you mind telling it?” he says, finally sounding a little annoyed.

“Sure. But I was going to make a cup of tea first,” I say, turning and walking to the sink. I’m not wavering; I just need a minute to compose myself. “Do you want one?”

“No,” Matthew says. “Is everything okay? Is the baby okay?”

“Yes,” I say. “Everything’s okay with the baby. And I hope with us, too. I just need to talk to you about some things….Do you mind sitting down?” I gesture toward the sofa. “I’ll be right there.”

Matthew looks nervous, but says okay, and I spend the next few minutes putting water in the kettle, waiting for it to boil, finding a tea bag, and rehearsing exactly what I’m going to say. But the second I make my way over to him, my mind goes blank.

I sit, put my cup on the coffee table, and take a deep breath. “So I drove up to the Adirondacks today,” I say, wiping my sweaty palms on my lap as I stare at the steam rising from my cup.

“Okay,” he says slowly. “That wasn’t what I was expecting.”

I nod, making myself meet Matthew’s gaze.

“In what car? With who?” he asks.

“In a rental. Alone.”

“Why?” he asks. “For a story? Or did you just want to get away for the day? I would’ve gone with you. I finished my brief—”

I cut him off and say, “No. Not for work. And not to be alone. I went up there to see my ex-boyfriend’s brother.”

“Your ex-boyfriend’s brother?” he says, looking confused, but not upset. “Why? Which ex?”

“The one I dated this summer,” I say.

    His expression changes immediately, but his voice remains calm. “Okay. Why? And why his brother?”

“Because…because…I wanted to talk to him…about the fact that I’d found out that he was married,” I say, stumbling over my words.

“Wait. What?” He squints, still confused. “The brother was married? Or your ex-boyfriend was married?”

“My ex-boyfriend,” I say.

“So…you were seeing a married man?” Matthew asks, looking so disappointed in me.

“Yes,” I say. “But I didn’t know he was married when I was seeing him….I would never do that.”

Matthew nods and says, “Good.” He pauses a beat and then says, “I knew that guy was bad news.”

“Yeah,” I say. “You were right.”

“But I still don’t get it. You broke up with him months ago. Why did you want to talk to his brother now?”

I take a deep breath. “Matthew,” I say. “There are some things I haven’t told you.”

“Like what?” he says with a frown.

The next few seconds are endless as I scrounge up enough courage to say, “Well, for one thing…his wife…was…is…Amy.”

“Amy?” Matthew says, staring at me with the most dumbfounded expression. “Our Amy?”

I nod the smallest of nods, my heart pounding in my ears.

“Wait. Hold up. What?” he says, as I watch the wheels grinding in his head. “You were dating…Grant?”

I nod again, then repeat that I had no idea he was married.

“So the postcard? From Italy? With the G? That was Amy’s husband?”

“Yes,” I whisper.

“Holy shit,” he says. “Does Amy know this?”

    “No,” I say. “I haven’t told her….”

“Why the hell not?” he says, his voice getting louder, his face turning red.

“Because I didn’t want to hurt her any more than she already was hurting,” I say.

“But…but that’s not a good enough reason,” Matthew says, looking appalled. “She’s your friend.”