The Grand Pact (The Grand Men #1)(97)

I’m that embarrassed by my actions, I can’t even listen to what she has to say to me.

“Hi.”

“Hi? Luce, hi?”

“I’m so sorry, Nina.”

She huffs, and I close my eyes as I drop my head.

“Will you give me a chance to explain? Cause I can. At least to you, I can. Elliot won’t speak to me.”

“Elliot is a fucking mess.”

I knew on the phone he wasn’t okay, but to have someone confirm it hurts even worse.

“Luce, he isn’t okay. Mase hasn’t ever seen him like this. We’re worried. He started off quiet when he got home, and then today has just been the breaking point.”

My chest grows tight as hot tears well in my eyes, quickly dripping down my face. “Nina, I’ve screwed up so bad.”

“Tell me what happened.”

“We were getting closer and closer. Then at the gala—”

“Harriet.”

“Right, and he called it all off. Told me he wouldn’t get in my way and would give me a chance to experience the city. I felt so alone. I didn’t want to be here, and I was having more bad days than good. I ran into Maxwell.” I swallow and look to my hands, knowing it’s selfish but true. “I needed a friend, and he was there.”

“So, Maxwell is just a friend?”

I clench my jaw and stare at my lap as more tears fall. “No.”

“Luce—”

“It’s complicated. We aren’t in a relationship. Not really. He’s even been with other women. It’s only this past month that he’s been a little more… protective.”

“In what way?”

“He doesn’t like the attention I get when we’re out. He’ll say things as if to tell me he doesn’t want me putting myself out there. He’s been stressed with work; he doesn’t mean to come across so—”

“Toxic?”

“He’s been good to me, Nina.”

“He sleeps with other women.”

“And I slept with another man.”

“And you think that’s okay? Do you think this is healthy?”

“I think sometimes in life we have to do whatever we have to, to get through. I don’t know why you’d judge me.” My voice cracks, and I stare at the ceiling. “I felt like I was on a different side to you all when Elliot dropped me, and I feel it now. I fucked up, and I’m sorry. I’m so sorry and hate myself for it, and I will fix it. But I need you to be you… I need you, Nina.”

Silence stretches between us as tears stream down my cheeks.

I don’t know how this happened, how I got to a point where I’d ever feel so disconnected from my salvations.

“I’m not judging you, Luce.”

“It felt that way.” I sniff.

“All I’ll ever want is the best for you. You’ve come a long way since the likes of Hugh fucked you around.”

“It’s different with Max. He knows this is temporary. I know it’s only temporary.”

“You live together?” She asks sceptically.

“It made sense. It puts him closer to work with Alec.” I shake my head at a loss, knowing she won’t understand. I wouldn’t understand. “Nina, I didn’t want to hurt him. Elliot means so much to me….” I cover my mouth with my hand as my voice cracks. “I don’t know what to do. He won’t talk to me. We slept together, and it was so much more, and I don’t know what to do to make him okay.”

“Wait. You slept with Elliot?”

“He didn’t say?”

“He didn’t say you slept together! Mason is with him at his place tonight, and I’m hoping he will open up to him.”

“It’s such a mess.”

She blows out a breath, and I sit and wish I was with her. “It is, but I know you can fix this. Both of you.”

“I have eight months left on my internship. I can’t even come home.”

“Can you take some time off?”

The idea of going home terrifies me. Which tells me I’m afraid to face my family for a reason. Maxwell might not want to label our relationship, but that’s exactly what it is—a relationship. I’ve done things with him. I share a bed with him at night and kiss him goodbye when he leaves for work.

Somewhere along the way, I’ve lied to myself, and worse than that, I’ve believed it. I can say it until I’m blue in the face, but Maxwell is something to me.

“I don’t know. I don’t know if Elliot would even entertain hearing me out. He was so hurt.”

“He was, but it’s Elliot. He won’t stay mad at you. You need to be honest about who Maxwell is. And maybe have a conversation with Maxwell.”

She says it as if it’s easy.

“I’m going to speak to Max when he gets back from his trip. He’s been out of the city this week for work. And Elliot, I have no idea how I get through to him.”

She sighs. “We’re going to Bora Bora on Friday, and I wanted us all there—”

“Elliot’s going?”

“He said he would. I was really hoping you would too.”

Could I go away with them?

It would mean I could speak to Elliot, and I wouldn’t have to face my parents or his. Although I’d like to think he wouldn’t tell his mum our business, I know how close he is with his parents.