The Grand Pact (The Grand Men #1)(92)

“I thought you were out.”

I nod, not truly hearing him past the pain haunting me. The pain I saw in the eyes of the man I love just moments ago.

“Luce, it’s your birthday, I don’t want to fall out with you today. I’m sorry about this morning. I told Alec I can’t go with him tonight.” He steps forward and cups my face. I flinch. “You know I didn’t mean any of what happened this morning, don’t you?”

I nod, knowing it would never have happened if I hadn’t been so persistent.

“You know I would’ve gone to the cemetery. You didn’t give me a chance to wake up. And that girl is a friend of Alec—”

She wasn’t, but I nod, cutting him off.

“I’m going to go shower. Why don’t you get dressed? I’m taking you out someplace special.”

“It’s gone midnight,” I choke out, making him frown.

“Don’t be mad at me, Luce. You know how it makes me.”

“I’m not mad.” I shake my head vehemently. “Go shower, and we can go out.”

He leans in and kisses my lips, and I want to die. I want to disappear from this moment and forget about its existence. “You’re tired, that’s all.”

Maxwell shuts the bathroom door, and I go straight to the wardrobe. Elliot bulldozes right past me before I can fully open it, and it knocks the wind right out of me.

“Elliot.”

He keeps going, pulling on his shirt and securing the buttons. I realise his trousers are already on. His jacket clutched in his hand.

“Elliot, please,” I whisper with purpose.

I follow him down the two flights of stairs, and he heads straight for the door. I grab his arm in a desperate attempt to keep him with me. “Don’t leave me here. Please, Elliot, don’t leave me. I had no one else. Let me make this right. I’ll talk to him.”

“No!” He roars, making me flinch as he finally looks at me.

I see the glint in his eye, the pain and hurt I’ve put there.

“I’m so sorry,” I shake my head, a tear slipping free as I pull on his arm. “Don’t leave me here.”

He shrugs me off, and I cling to him, pulling at his collar as he tries to force my hands from him. “Stop!”

“Don’t go,” I sob, wrapping his jacket in my fist.

He steps through the door, and I fall forward onto my knees. I lose all grip and land hard.

Elliot stops on the threshold and looks down at me. I watch his throat bob, his indecision clear in his eyes before they blur.

And then he leaves.





I have so much to fix. So much to put right, yet I don’t know where to start. Maxwell has been here for me since I moved to New York; I can’t ignore that fact. But the pain and remorse that eats at me over what I’ve just done to Elliot hurts worse than anything else.

If I thought running after Elliot was the answer, then I would, but I know he’d need answers, and I don’t have any.

At least not any that I want to admit to.

I’m embarrassed.

I didn’t know Maxwell would come home. He was supposed to be away with Alec for the night on a job. And although it is as cut and dry as me cheating on one man with another, it’s also not.

Not even close.

We both know I won’t be here this time next year, and we both know he sleeps with other women. When I denied Maxwell for the third time, he started to become a different person from the one I met on the plane. The good guy is somewhere in there, and I even get glimpses of him on good days, but he’s mostly lost to late-night runs with Alec and not-so-secret hookups. And the fucked-up thing about it… I’ve never cared.

He turned up when I needed a friend. He makes me feel safe here, and he knows how grateful I am for that. In return, I give him small pieces.

Little by little.

More and more of me.

“You okay?” he asks as he smooths a hand down my back.

I turn and nod. “I should go shower.”

“Are you going to be mad at me all night?” I stop on my way to the door. “I don’t see much point in taking you out if you’re going to be in a mood.”

I turn, needing to be honest with him. I don’t know how he would react if he knew about Elliot, and that scares me.

My fingers instinctively wrap around my other hand, the dull ache still there.

I start with that. “You hurt me, Max.”

He frowns, pointing to the door. “That’s what’s wrong?”

“I wanted to go to the cemetery, but it wasn’t a big deal. I was going to go on my own—”

“You were trying to guilt me, Lucy.”

I shake my head. “I wasn’t. I was happy going alone.”

He sniggers. “You don’t even know when you’re doing it.”

I swallow, wondering if subconsciously I did try to push guilt onto him. “I didn’t mean to make you feel that way,” I tell him. “It was the only thing I wanted to do today.”

“Why are you doing that?” he snaps.

“What?”

“You. That. Throwing going alone at me. It was the only thing you wanted to do. Are you trying to make me feel like shit?”

I walk towards the bedroom, wanting desperately to be alone. The irony isn’t lost on me. “I’m going to bed.”