The Grand Pact (The Grand Men #1)(82)

“Exactly that.” He points the neck of his beer bottle at me.

“I’m not sure my self-awareness is as sharp as you think it is. I’m the most indecisive person I know.”

“You’re here, aren’t you? It’s where that indecisiveness is coming from that’s important. Is it weakness?” He looks at me dead in the eye, telling me that isn’t it without saying the words. “Or is it the need to be who you know you are?”

“I’ve never thought about it like that.” But he’s right. I’ve always known why I want what I do. My doubt comes from the way it could make me feel. The way it could make the people around me feel.

It’s why I cling to routine.

“Guys,” Polly pokes her head around the door, gauging the mood in the room as she interrupts. “Sorry, do you want custard or ice cream with the brownies?”

“Custard with brownies?” I question incredulously. “You’re having a giraffe, surely?”

“Having a giraffe.” Maxwell chuckles. “You Brits have an idiom for everything.”

“We do,” I agree, standing from the sofa and trailing after Polly into the kitchen. “Ice cream for me, please.”

“And me.” Maxwell joins me at the kitchen island. His arm slips around my neck and settles high across my chest, then he pulls me into a hug from behind as if he’s done it a million times before.

“You okay to drop a monitor down to Felix later? I told him it would be with him by the end of the day,” Alec asks, his question clearly directed at Maxwell as he scrolls on his phone.

“Sure,” Max replies into the top of my head. “I’ll drop it on my way home.”

“Felix,” I admire. “I’ve always loved that name. It’s on my baby name list, actually.”

“It’s not his real name,” Max tells me with a hint of amusement in his voice. “He’s a Carl, but fucking hates it. Felix is his late father’s name, I think.”

“He looks like a fucking Carl too,” Alec adds, with a chuckle, pocketing his phone.

“Wait.” Polly shakes her head to halt the conversation, blatant confusion washing the pink hue from her cheeks. “Felix isn’t Felix’s real name?”

“Nah, we just call him it to keep him sweet.” I watch as Alec rests his hands on the kitchen island, his eyes on his girlfriend in deep fascination.

“I won’t be able to look at him the same way ever again,” she says, turning her back to dig the ice cream out of the fridge freezer.

“Just don’t go calling him Carl. He doesn’t fucking like it.”

“Noted,” she sings, placing the desserts on the counter. “Let’s eat!”





Eight weeks post-Elliot call


Nina: You won the award?? Okay this is totally worth blowing me off for hahaha! SO PROUD!

Luce: I did! I’m sorry you couldn’t come out. We have to rearrange it. I desperately need to see you.

Nina: Love you always! Go celebrate!

Polly: Congrats girl! We knew you’d do it!

Mum: We are so proud of you darling. Not even three months in and you’re bossing it! Mum xxxxxxxx Luce: Thanks Mum! I can’t believe it. I’ll call later xxxx Elliot: I’m so fucking proud of you baby My heart jolts as I read his message, the alcohol not seeping deep enough to numb it completely.

Princess: Thank you x

Princess: I miss you

Elliot: You do?

Always.

“To Lucy.” My eyes lift to Maxwell, who stands beside me at the table. “For absolutely smashing it and making Chelsea’s face look as sour as spoilt milk!”

“Sit down!” I hiss, pulling on his coat until he falls heavy into the seat next to me. “You’re embarrassing me.”

“Everyone should know.” He leans in and kisses my neck, and I ease away, smiling.

Something registers in my brain—the smell of his cologne and the bitter stench of beer triggering a memory.

We’d been at the house. Maxwell stayed late after Polly and Alec had left. We fell asleep on the sofa watching a movie, and when I woke up, Maxwell was carrying me to my bed.

He placed me down on the mattress and kissed my forehead, but just as he turned to leave, I grabbed his hand.

“Will you stay?”

“Do you want me to stay?”

“I don’t want to be alone. I feel so alone.”

He pulled back the comforter and slid into the bed, the heat from his body welcomed and so, so foreign.

I’d not had company for so long.

“It’s safe here. You shouldn’t be so afraid to be alone. The security of the street and house was one of the reasons Alec was so keen to move in.”

I smiled, my eyes growing heavy.

“Luce.”

“Hmmm.”

I lifted my head. His face was right there.

He kissed me.

Maxwell kissed me, and it felt like the most incredible, fulfilling, fucked-up, traitorous kiss I’d ever received.

“I should get you home.”

I snap back to the here and now. My eyes easing into focus only to find Maxwell entranced on me, the bar bustling with music all around us.

I nod, sliding from the seat.