The Girl's Got Secrets (Forbidden Men #7)(42)

“You sure it’s okay if I take this whole box?” He didn’t make eye contact as he asked. It was as if he were suddenly too afraid to look me in the eye, which made me feel incredibly self-conscious.

“Yeah, it’s fine,” I said. “Everything...okay?”

“What?” He zipped his gaze up, his brown eyes wide and far from okay. “Yeah, sure. Sorry, I just...I remembered I have to be somewhere. Like right now. Excuse me, I gotta...”

“Go,” I finished for him.

“Right.” Pointing to me gratefully for supplying the word he’d been searching for, he surged up from the floor where he’d been crouching. When he plowed forward to flee, he almost bumped the box he was toting right into my gut, so I leapt a step back to give him room, and he finally seemed to realize I was right there.

“Shit, sorry. Uh...” He looked into my eyes again, and I think he saw how worried I was, because he blew out a breath, and his shoulders slumped. “It’s not your fault, you know.”

I squinted, not sure what he was talking about. Not my fault that I’d brought a whole boatload of uncomfortable into our conversation, making him in such a hurry to leave? Or not my fault that—

“That she died,” he clarified. “Your mom. Seriously, just think up every scenario of everything you could’ve done that day. You know she still would’ve ended up...where she did. The only thing that might’ve changed was that you could’ve died with her.”

I took a step back at those words. I’d thought up different scenarios before, and in every alternate reality I’d created in my head, I’d been able to save her. But maybe Sticks was right. In all actuality, I probably wouldn’t have been able to keep her alive. Realizing that stunned me.

Sticks blew out a breath. “I really have to go. See you Monday? At practice?”

I nodded, distracted by the thoughts he’d just put in my head. “Yeah. Sure. See you then.”

I didn’t notice him leave. I slumped onto the nightstand, both my hands buried deep in my hair, and I wondered...was Remy right? Had my mother’s death been inevitable? Maybe I hadn’t been as culpable as I’d always worried.





I burst inside my apartment, the official Non-Castrato box cradled in my arms, unable to get my mind to stop spinning from everything I’d learned during band practice today...or rather everything I’d learned after practice.

Hearing about Asher’s childhood and his parents was enough to blow my mind. But then I’d spotted that song. That dreadful, amazing, life-altering song.

Ten hadn’t been on crack after all. A Non-Castrato song I’d never heard of before really, honestly, truly existed. And I knew why Asher refused to ever play it again. It was so personal, so revealing, so...

About me.

Well, maybe about me. Maybe not. I couldn’t be sure. Except all the details fit. Por Dios, how well the details fit.

Thoughts scattered into millions of pieces, I plopped the box on the side table where I always tossed my keys and purse, vaguely aware of Jodi on the couch watching television.

For all I noticed, she might’ve even greeted me hello. I have no idea if I replied. I was too busy digging back into the box to retrieve that song. Once I found it, the page trembled in my grasp as I reread the lyrics. Everything seemed right. And yet...I couldn’t believe it. The idea that Asher might’ve seen me once and been so overwhelmed by the encounter that he’d written a...a love song about me, fantasizing about an entire future full of what-ifs that could happen between us, was more than I could take.

“Jodi,” I started, still staring at Asher’s handwritten dreams, as I marched in front of her until I was between her and the television.

“Shh...” She waved me out of her way so she could continue watching the screen. “Check this out.” She motioned toward...holy guacamole, was she actually watching the news?

Who was this woman and what had she done with my roommate?

“They shut down Statesburg,” she said. “You know, that big prison not too far from here. There was some big, insider scandal about the last warden and some current and past inmates. I guess it was bad enough that they’re closing the entire place, and apparently there’s not enough room in the surrounding jails to house all their inmates, so they’re just...letting some of them go.”

“What?” I spun to gape at the news too.

“I know, right? Everyone who’s up for release or parole this year, is pretty much getting out. That’s like fifty new felons out on the streets with us. What kind of shit is that?”

“Scary,” I murmured, watching the screen as the newsman’s camera panned the outside of the state prison where the gates were opening to let out the last busload to convicts they were going to farm out to other prisons. “When did this happen?”

“It’s been going on for a couple weeks apparently. But the news just caught wind of it.”

“Statesburg’s like what, only twenty miles from here, isn’t it?”

“However far it is, it’s way too close.” Jodi shivered and hugged herself. “I’m investing in a f*cking Taser.” Then she glanced at me and sniffed as she took in my mask. “And if I were you, I’d stay in that form for a while. If there were any rapists in the release, you’re far safer as a guy right now.”