The Girl's Got Secrets (Forbidden Men #7)(41)

“Fuck, Asher. What he did wasn’t your fault. You don’t really think you could’ve stopped him and saved her, do you? He would’ve just turned on you and killed you too.”

“I could’ve run and gotten help,” I argued. “But I just sat there and watched as he shoved her into the television and broke it. When it landed on top of her and shot sparks everywhere, she f*cking screamed in pain and I just...I just watched. It wasn’t until she was already gone and her lifeless glassy eyes were staring up at the ceiling that I did anything. My dad looked at me with shock and panic, and I knew...I was next. I’d seen too much. So...finally, that’s when I ran.”

“?Dios mío!” Sticks set his hand over his mouth. “Where did you go? Did he catch you?”

I shrugged, suddenly uncomfortable for sharing so much. “Just to a neighbor’s place. The old guy who lived there let me stick around until the police showed up, so no...my dad never caught me. I didn’t see either of them again that day. The next place I saw him was in the courtroom when I had to give my testimony.”

“Damn, that’s...intense.”

I cleared my throat and glanced at the papers he’d stopped sorting and was still holding fisted in his hand. “If you want, you can just take the box home with you. Bring it back later.”

I didn’t want to hang around here much longer, not after opening up the way I had.

“Huh?” Sticks glanced down at his hand and then jumped. “Oh, shit. Sorry. But yeah, sure. I’ll do that.” He started to stuff the sheets back into the box, but froze when he saw something already in there. “What...what is this?”

He pulled the single page closer to read it, his eyes growing bigger with each second. “Oh...f*ck,” he whispered.

“What?” I asked, curious...but also relieved for a complete subject change.

Looking up with a dazed expression, he waved what looked like my hand-printed sheet music for one of our songs. “This isn’t...we don’t play this song. Where did this come from?”

I took it from his hand and immediately groaned. “Oh, Jesus. I need to burn this damn thing.”

“No!” Sticks hopped to his feet and snagged it from me, only to hold it protectively against his chest, gaping at me in horror. “You can’t. Just...what is it?”

I sighed, my shoulders slumping in defeat. Talking about this was almost as bad as telling him about what had happened between my parents. “It’s just a stupid song I wrote after seeing some girl sing on karaoke night at the bar.”

“Uh...this is more than just seeing a girl.” His gaze scanned the page. “You wanted to know everything about her, marry her and give her babies. Make her your one and only—”

“Okay, thank you!” I slapped the song out of his hand with a scowl. “You don’t have to read the lyrics back to me. I wrote them. I remember what I said...unfortunately.” When he gaped at me as if I was insane, I waved out my fingers, implying it was no big deal. “Look, it’s just a song some stranger I’d never met before or seen again inspired; doesn’t mean anything.”

Sticks squinted, letting me know he totally didn’t buy that. “Then why’re you being so touchy about it now?”

“Because.” I ground my teeth. “We happened to play it at Forbidden once. Once. One f*cking time, and all these women went crazy, trying to convince me they were her. And you want to know the really crazy part? I don’t think I’d even recognize her if I ever did see her again. I saw her once, all the way across a room months ago for a total of like three minutes. And she had a boyfriend anyway, so I don’t know why everyone blew it out of proportion the way they did. It wasn’t love at first sight as all my friends tease me. I know that. It was just—”

“Lust?” Sticks guessed quietly.

I winced at the word, immediately repulsed by it. “No. I mean, yeah, there was that too. But this was like...more. Like...I don’t even know. A wish. A hope. A...” The right word failed me until I blurted, “A possibility. Like I suddenly wanted to try something I’d never had before.”

“A pretty little Latino girl?” he whispered, looking almost hurt.

I blinked, confused. “Huh?”

He picked the sheet up off the floor and pointed to the lyrics. “That’s what you called her...in the song.”

“I did? Oh yeah, right. But, no, that’s not what I’m talking about at all. It had nothing to do with looks, though she was gorgeous. This was more like...a feeling. A warmth. Like right there, watching her sing, was where I belonged in the universe. Like I’d just found my place. Everything...fit.”

Remy’s mouth had fallen open. Realizing I’d once again shared more than I wanted to, I cleared my throat and scrubbed at the back of my head. “Anyway, like I said, it was stupid. Just a momentary blip on my crazy radar. I’ll never cross paths with her again, and she’ll probably be better off for it.”

When I laughed at the joke against myself, Sticks didn’t join in. Instead, he became a sudden flurry of motion, stuffing documents back into the box as he blurted, “I have to go.”

“Uh...” I glanced around, startled by his abrupt announcement. “Okay.” Now I really felt awkward for telling him so much. Shit. Had I scared him out of the band because I’d unloaded a ton of my personal drama on him?