The Girl's Got Secrets (Forbidden Men #7)(126)

The tears and devastation moved in. I hoped I could keep them at bay long enough to leave before he saw any, but I also wanted to stick around another second in case, by some miracle, he decided to...I don’t know...forgive me, or something.

But then he went and admitted, “I’m not sure.”

I blinked, wondering at first if I’d heard him right. Then I shook my head.

Had he just said I’m not sure?

What the hell? I scowled, suddenly no longer crushed, but just plain pissed. But he wasn’t sure? Surely, he knew whether he regretted having sex with me or not. Hell, the only reason a nice guy like him wouldn’t be reassuring me by now had to be because he did regret it.

So, why didn’t he just grow a pair and tell me that already?

“You know,” I muttered, glaring hard, the pain and anger bringing out my sassy. “I realize I f*cked up. Bad. I lied to you for over a month. I betrayed your trust. Hurt your feelings. And tricked you in the most horrendous way imaginable. And I am sorry for that. I regret it like hell. That last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt you. If I could take that back, I would, but...” I shook my head. “I don’t know if I’d do everything again differently a second time through. Because if I did, I would never have gotten to know you as well as I did. I never would’ve learned what an...amazing person you are. I...f*ck, I wouldn’t have fallen for you as hard as I have. And I can’t regret that part. But I also can’t let you use my feelings and guilty conscience against me again. The next time you’re horny and want sex from me, it has to mean something. Got it?”

He drew in a tormented breath and ran his hand over his face as he averted his gaze. “Yeah,” he mumbled. “I got it.”

“I’m going to go,” I said as I whirled around, but a strange empty spot above the stairwell opening caught my attention.

Frowning, I whirled back. “Where the hell is Mozart?”

His face shot up, and his expression crumbled. “He’s gone.”

Gasping, I staggered back a step. Clutching at my chest, I blinked at him, trying to make sense of his words. “What do you mean gone?” The little critter had been so full of life, and Asher had taken good care of him. He couldn’t have just...died. Could he?

“I mean he’s f*cking gone,” he snapped, scowling at me for pressing the subject. “I came home, his cage was open, and he was nowhere in the apartment.”

“But...” My brow wrinkled as I shook my head. That made no sense. “He’s a squirrel. There was no other way for him to get out of this apartment except through that doorway up there, and he couldn’t have opened that himself.”

“Well, then he must’ve gotten free when I was coming in or going out. I don’t f*cking know.”

I sent him an I’m-not-buying-it glance. “And you don’t think you would’ve noticed him darting out between your legs when you opened the door?”

“I told you, I don’t know. I just know I came home, and he was gone.”

Chewing on my lip, I turned back to study the bare stretch of wall where Mozart’s cage had once hung. “I think someone else let him out.”

Asher let out a tired sigh. “Impossible. No one else has been here...except you.”

I turned back slowly. “It wasn’t me.”

With a scowl, he growled, “I know that. So, who are you suggesting broke into my apartment to—” When he saw the answer on my face, he groaned. “Oh, Jesus. Are you back on the conspiracy theory that my dad’s out to get me?”

“It makes sense,” I said defensively. And it did...to me.

“Why would he just let Mozart go instead of, I don’t know, killing him? And why—if he did all the other things you think he did—would he bother with such stupid irritating stunts when he could come at me with something so much more lethal, like a gun?”

“Because he’s a bully. Bullies chip and pick at scabs until they get to the meat of the wound underneath. They rarely come at you with an outright assault unless they know without a doubt they’re bigger and stronger and can take you. You’re not a seven-year-old kid any longer; he’s trying to find your weaknesses. And he probably didn’t outright kill Mozart because who the f*ck could actually catch that wily little thing to kill him? Why bother even trying when it would be just as devastating for you to find him gone?”

And I could tell it was devastating for him. His green eyes went shuttered with pain as he glanced at the spot where Mozart’s cage had hung. It must’ve really upset him if he’d already taken the whole thing down...too painful to look at.

I hugged myself, glancing at the spot as well. “I hope he’s okay.”

Asher sniffed and shook his head. “He’s probably living it up in some nice park full of plenty of trees and nuts.”

Or he was dead, I silently worried.

Glancing at me with a scowl as if he’d read my thoughts, he muttered, “Thought you were leaving because you’re pissed at me.”

I sighed. “You’re the one who can’t decide whether you regret sleeping with me or not.”

His green eyes went flat with anger. “Oh, well, excuse me for a being a little confused. But you hurt me more than anyone has ever hurt me, and that scares the f*ck out of me. No one’s ever gotten that close to me with me being so completely unaware of it before. So I’m so sorry if it’s taking me longer than you’d like to figure out if I can really trust you again.”