The Bully (Calamity Montana #4)(69)

Cal was gone.

The smart, self-preserving thing to do would be to let him go. We might burn as hot and bright as a blue flame, but eventually, we’d turn to ash. There’d be nothing left but the charred remains of two hearts.

My hand came to my chest, pressing against the ache. This pain would dull. The hurt would pass. In time, I’d forget all about Cal Stark.

We had to let each other go.

And he’d already done his part, hadn’t he? He’d walked away.

The door jarred open, slamming into my back. I’d forgotten to flip the lock.

“Oh. Shoot. Nellie?” Kathryn held up both hands. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize anyone was in here.”

“It’s fine,” I said as she pulled the door closed. “I’ll be out in a minute.”

I gave myself three aching heartbeats in the darkness before flipping on the lights and wiping the mascara smudges from beneath my eyes.

“Why am I crying?” I asked myself in the mirror. It was done. Over.

He’d walked away from Calamity. He’d walked away from me.

More tears welled, so I swiped for a paper towel to blot them dry. But they wouldn’t stop. No matter how many deep breaths I took, no matter how fast I blinked, the tears kept coming. Damn it.

We had a staff meeting in thirty minutes. The whole office would know I’d been crying.

Was this what heartbreak felt like? I’d never had my heart broken before. I’d never let anyone in who’d had that kind of power.

Until Cal.

And I hadn’t really let him in, had I? I’d told him he was a coward. But so was I. All those times he’d asked me what I hated about him, I’d ignored the obvious. It had been right there in front of my face.

Tell me what you hate about me.

Cal hadn’t been asking why I hated him. He’d been asking if I wanted him anyway. If I could let go of the past, the mistakes and the hurt, and just . . . love him.

“Shit.” I sniffled and let out a dry laugh as I buried my face in my hands. “I’m an idiot.”

How was I supposed to fix this if he wasn’t coming back to Calamity?

“Ugh.” My groan echoed through the bathroom.

Maybe he’d reject me. Maybe we’d kill each other. But if I didn’t try, I’d never forgive myself. I’d spend the rest of my life wondering what if.

So I hurried from the bathroom, marching down the hallway to Pierce’s office.

His eyes snapped up from his monitor as I burst through the doorway. “What’s wrong?”

“I need a favor. It’s a big one.”

A slow grin spread across his mouth. “I’ll call my pilot.”





CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE





NELLIE





The Benton Academy hadn’t changed in fifteen years. The two-story, red brick building was just as intimidating now as it had been the day I’d walked away after graduation.

Women dripping in jewels, wearing expensive gowns, laughed and smiled as they passed by the columns at the grand entrance. Men dressed in tuxes climbed the wide staircase to the front double doors.

Every window was illuminated, the rectangles casting a golden glow into the dimming evening light. Lanterns lined the sidewalk. The lawns were freshly mowed and the scent of cut grass clung to the air.

That smell was normally a comfort because it reminded me of Dad. But tonight, it did nothing to curb the anxiety rattling in my bones. My nerves were frayed, not only in anticipation of seeing Cal, but just being at Benton again.

I’d vowed never to set foot on these grounds again. Yet here I was, frozen on a sidewalk that I hadn’t crossed since I was eighteen.

“Coming, Nellie?” Pierce’s mother asked, glancing back when she realized I’d fallen behind.

“Be right there,” I said, forcing a tight smile. “I’m going to look around a bit. For old times’ sake.”

“Of course.” She nodded, taking her husband’s arm. “We’ll meet you inside.”

Pierce’s father escorted his wife past the bronze statue of Albert Benton, the school’s namesake.

My senior year, a group of students had vandalized the statue as a prank. The two students who’d been caught on camera, wrapping dear old Alfred in toilet paper, had nearly been denied graduation. Their parents had probably made some calls—and written checks—to get their kids out of trouble.

I doubted that courtesy would have been extended to the scholarship kids.

God, I hated this place. The opulence. The arrogance. What if I just stayed outside and waited for Cal to come out after the dinner?

Don’t be a coward, Nellie. I squared my shoulders and walked past the statue, my nerves spiking with every click of my stiletto heels on the cement. I scanned the crowd gathering at the staircase, looking for the man who’d stand head and shoulders above the rest.

But there was no sign of Cal.

Which was probably a good thing. In the past twenty-eight hours since I’d burst into Pierce’s office and asked for his help to score me an invite to this fiasco, I still hadn’t figured out exactly what to say.

Maybe I just needed to see him and it would come to me. Maybe I’d be able to admit that we were better together than we were apart. Even if that meant constant bickering. Even if that meant disagreeing about almost everything.