The Bully (Calamity Montana #4)(65)

I’d go home to a quiet, empty house and be . . . alone.

This was not the life I’d hoped for when I’d packed my belongings for Calamity. How could I live here if he stayed? Could I really see Cal at Saturday afternoon barbeques? Or pass him on the street?

Maybe this had been his plan all along. Maybe he’d wanted me to fall in love with him because he knew if he broke my heart, I’d give up.

“He wins.”

Two words I’d promised myself I’d never say.





CHAPTER NINETEEN





CAL





Nellie’s sweet scent lingered in the bathroom, even after I’d heard the front door close.

My hands were braced beside the sink, my eyes closed. I couldn’t bring myself to look in the mirror. To confront the coward.

What the fuck were we doing? What the fuck was I doing?

I’d watched Nellie’s face crumple as she’d stared at me earlier. We hadn’t talked since she’d been to the camper and found me with her diary.

When I’d followed her to the bathroom, I’d expected to find her pissed. I’d expected her to ream on me for stealing her journal. Instead, she’d been sad. And she’d slapped me with a question I wasn’t prepared to answer.

Why do you let them in and not me?

Why? Because she terrified me. Because she had a power unlike any other person on earth. If Nellie deemed me unworthy, it would destroy me. And I already knew she was too good for an asshole like me.

Was that why I’d kept asking her to tell me why she hated me? To make sure that it stayed in the forefront of her mind?

Christ. I was not a man who lacked self-confidence, both on and off the field. But when it came to Nellie, I was different. Soft. Weak. I didn’t stand a chance.

Shoving away from the sink, I strode out of the bathroom, nearly colliding with Harry in the hallway. How long had she been standing there? What had she heard?

Probably too much judging by the scowl on her face.

I scowled right back. “What?”

“You’re in love with that girl.”

Yes. Yes, I was.

I’d loved Nellie since she’d dumped coffee in my pants on First Street. Maybe I’d loved her since Charlotte and she’d consoled me after a loss. Maybe I’d loved her since the day she’d let me kiss her at fourteen.

But could I admit it out loud? No. I’d shoved Nellie away because I’d had twenty years of perfecting that game. Of pushing her away so I wouldn’t get hurt.

“You’re not denying it,” Harry said.

I shrugged.

“What are you doing here when she just sped away like her tires were on fire?”

“Can we not talk about this?” I raked a hand through my hair and took a step forward, but before I could flee this hallway, Harry arched her eyebrows and silently dared me to walk away. “Come on. Let’s just go back to the party.”

“What are you afraid of?” she asked.

“I’ll ruin her.” The confession came freely.

Harry’s gaze softened. For a split second, I thought she’d let this go. Then her hand whipped through the air and connected with the side of my head.

“Hey.” I rubbed the spot where she’d smacked me. “What was that for?”

“You’re a coward.”

“And you’re not the first woman to call me that today.”

Her expression flattened. “My Jake was an ass, like you. But the man wasn’t a coward. I expected more from you, Cal. I thought you were the champion.”

“I’m not.” My shoulders sagged. “Football, yes. But not for Nellie.”

She rolled her eyes, then she spun around and marched away.

I followed, stopping when she took the wrong turn. “Where are you going?”

“Home.” She snapped her fingers. “And you’re my ride. Let’s go.”

“We haven’t eaten yet.”

“Maybe you haven’t.” She lifted a shoulder. “But my plate’s empty. I’m a fast eater.”

“I’m not leaving the party.” Hell, we hadn’t even been here for an hour yet.

“Keys are in that fancy rig of yours, right? I’ll just drive myself. You can hitchhike home.”

“Harry.” I planted my hands on my hips. “No.”

She narrowed her gaze. “I’m leaving, Cal. With or without you.”

For fuck’s sake. These damn women were exhausting. “Fine.”

“Meet you in the car.” She smiled, then strode down the entryway for the door.

She’d sit out there, roasting in the late-July heat, simply to spite me. If she were younger, I might let her sweat. But I wasn’t about to have an old lady die on my watch.

“Fuck.” I passed the living room, glancing at Constance asleep in her swing.

She was the cutest baby I’d ever seen, and it had been hard not to stare when Nellie had been holding her earlier. Watching them together had given me this twinge. A pinch I hadn’t felt since Elias was born and I’d gone to Denver for a visit.

The day I’d arrived, Nellie had been there too. She’d looked so beautiful that I’d told her she should look into Botox to do something about the wrinkles on her forehead.